Wiseman2 Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 12 hours ago, ahmed8xm said: Can't you hire a PI. They share one car because of financial restraints. Communication would be a cheaper and easier first step to get to the root of what's going on.
Author Mook77 Posted January 4, 2021 Author Posted January 4, 2021 On 12/31/2020 at 1:47 PM, ahmed8xm said: Can't you hire a PI. Not everyone has the money that you have.. 2
usa1ah Posted January 4, 2021 Posted January 4, 2021 9 hours ago, Mook77 said: Not everyone has the money that you have.. You do have enough information to ask her WTH is going on. All you need is to do is print out the time clock info and ask what the hell she did after you dropped her off. Find your courage and confront your wife. 1 1
Marc878 Posted January 4, 2021 Posted January 4, 2021 On 12/29/2020 at 2:29 AM, Mook77 said: I'm giving it a few more weeks of patience. Observing the work schedule punches online. There's no reason to work 7-9 am and come home at 7pm. There's no explanation as to why the clock in lunches say zero yet I stopped you off to work that day and picked you up. And it shows every time they punch in, lunch out for break, lunch back in from break and punch out at the end of the day. I did something crazy the other day we were having sex. I told her to tell me a fantasy of her n her boss . I have her the scenario of me dropping her off but she wasn't on schedule etc. She narrated as we had sex how her n boss had sex at a motel. So I'm putting a file.together. Y'all been really helpful on this site. So I dunno if she was just playing along or this was something that's happened. Gut feelings are usually there for a reason unless you’re a total paranoid. This is not a court of law. You don’t need concrete proof. Only enough to satisfy you. If it is a workplace affair those are extremely hard to detect. You aren’t married and don’t have a huge amount of time invested. The only one who can keep you in limbo is yourself. You can’t make someone love or care for you. Don’t ever waste time trying, 1
HadMeOverABarrel Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 (edited) On 1/4/2021 at 9:56 AM, Marc878 said: This is not a court of law. You don’t need concrete proof. Only enough to satisfy you. Technically, you don't even need concrete proof in a court of law, just enough to convince the judge along with good argument. Hopefully OP will be a wise judge here and able to cut through any bull crap in an argument. Edited January 9, 2021 by HadMeOverABarrel Changed BS to bull crap to avoid confusion 1
HadMeOverABarrel Posted January 9, 2021 Posted January 9, 2021 On 1/4/2021 at 9:56 AM, Marc878 said: You can’t make someone love or care for you. Don’t ever waste time trying, Also I really LOVE this comment. Too bad I didn't solidly learn this in my 20's...ooohhh the heartbreak I would've saved myself. 1
merrmeade Posted January 19, 2021 Posted January 19, 2021 (edited) I know something of this. I'll just give the final story as I saw it.Similar factors - Work colleague pursues another colleague. Colleague 2 reports a little to spouse - some complaint, some intrigue - just enough to ward off suspicion in the beginning. After a while, there's less complaint, little mention in fact, but in surprise contexts. Any questions are ridiculed and dismissed. Colleague 1 is aggressive, maybe embarrasses Colleague 2, who is not unavailable and enjoys the attention. It's exciting, it's flattering. There's surprise and tension. Eventually Colleague 2 scores, starts coming home late with lame excuses. Eventually it's made to sound like "friends" - carpooling (but just two people - undisclosed), work related activity/trip, assistance with a project, help moving, etc. Lotsa versions of this - a chapter out of the book "Not Just Friends." Sometimes, also in this case, they try to blame the aggressor, which is absurd, of course. Edited January 19, 2021 by merrmeade
merrmeade Posted January 19, 2021 Posted January 19, 2021 I guess a comment is called for as to what could, should be done: In these cases, I don't think any amount of confrontation will change behavior, although how they respond gives you valuable information into their character. If you're young, it tells you if this person is worth the enormous effort and chunk of your youth it will take to save the relationship. Examples: If the person tries to shift all the blame on circumstances or the other person: weak character. If the person tries to gaslight you - dismiss or minimize what you say, make you look silly - that's throwing you under the bus to save their image. If they try to intimidate and find some fault in you, you've become a threat and they're in offensive mode. This is not someone who has your interest at heart in any way. This is a lying, self-serving predator. Run.
salparadise Posted January 19, 2021 Posted January 19, 2021 On 12/29/2020 at 2:29 AM, Mook77 said: I'm giving it a few more weeks of patience. Observing the work schedule punches online. [...] I did something crazy the other day we were having sex. I told her to tell me a fantasy of her n her boss . I have her the scenario of me dropping her off but she wasn't on schedule etc. She narrated as we had sex how her n boss had sex at a motel. You're a lot more patient than 99.999 percent of men would be, and this thing of indulging her cuckold fantasies while having sex suggests that it may be a turn-on for you as well. You know, one way to get her to tell you all about it would be to play along with this fantasy scenario. And you might need to be more honest with yourself too –– how does it make you feel underneath how you think you're supposed to feel? Was it a turn-on when she did that narrative while having sex? You could ask questions that presume that they're going at it and that you're intrigued...
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