IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 The lady I met last Saturday told me tonight she would be willing to go out with me tonight as friends. That was shocking because not only did she make herself available 4 days after the 1st date, but she paid for the 2nd date. So tonight on the phone I mentioned we can meet up after the holiday and that's when she said can we go as friends? Normally when a woman wants to be just friends to make up an excuse not to see me again like a sick relative or busy work schedule. But this time I saw someone 5 days after the date and she enjoys talking to me as friends and had a nice time with me. So i decided to spend $200 tonight on 4 different dating memberships to see what can happen before the year is over because as of right now I have 0 options lol So I wont be going out as friends so her number is deleted. Definitely the weirdest experience of my dating life and here I am thinking I was doing everything right. So I am upset and will probably be up until 3am and will start fresh tomorrow
Wiseman2 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 Unfortunately, not weird at all. So common in fact that the term friendzone was coined for this phenomenon. Good luck with the new apps. Make sure you have a more streamlined and clear dating strategy, so you don't ask friendzoners out again. Message a couple times, meet for a brief coffee, whatever there and then decide if you want a second date. Keep in mind, anything but a definitive "yes", is a hard "no" . That includes: very busy, let's be friends, confused, etc. Recognize signs of low interest early on. Make sure you follow up appropriately on the ones you are interested in with a few texts and a confirmed next date. 2
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 I am surprised women still pull the "want to be friends?" BS. I've dated a ton and it rarely ever happens but did once last year, I said "sure" and then deleted her number and never spoke to her again.
smackie9 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 Should have stuck it out and see if she had any single hot GFs. 6 2
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 8 hours ago, Mo_Do said: I am surprised women still pull the "want to be friends?" BS. I've dated a ton and it rarely ever happens but did once last year, I said "sure" and then deleted her number and never spoke to her again. I made the mistake of talking to her on the phone for 3 hours before 1st meet
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately, not weeird at all. So common in fact that the term friendzone was coined for this phenomenon. Good luck with the new apps. Make sure you have a more streamlined and clear dating strategy, so you don't ask friendzoners out again. Message a couple times, meet for a brief coffee, whatever there and then decide if you want a second date. Keep in mind, anything but a definitive "yes", is a hard "no" . That includes: very busy, let's be friends, confused, etc. Recognize signs of low interest early on. Make sure you follow up appropriately on the ones you are interested in with a few texts and a confirmed next date. What makes it weird is not only did she agree t o see me again in 3 days, she PAID for the whole date lol
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 5 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: What makes it weird is not only did she agree t o see me again in 3 days, she PAID for the whole date lol I’ve offered to do that before. I liked the guy but only in a friendly way , I don’t get spending $200 on dating apps. That boggles my mind. . I think your efforts would be better spent figuring out why dating seems to be so difficult for you and making self -improvements 3
Acacia98 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: Should have stuck it out and see if she had any single hot GFs. Wise words, I think.
elaine567 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 32 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: What makes it weird is not only did she agree t o see me again in 3 days, she PAID for the whole date lol You thought because she paid she was very interested. Wrong. She paid as she was not feeling it and didn't want you to waste your money on her. 5 1
poppyfields Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, elaine567 said: You thought because she paid she was very interested. Wrong. She paid as she was not feeling it and didn't want you to waste your money on her. Yup, it's actually the opposite of what you're thinking OP. Edited November 24, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 41 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: What makes it weird is not only did she agree t o see me again in 3 days, she PAID for the whole date lol Some women will pay the bill or their half because they feel guilty and know they'll never see you again. However the last time one paid was because she was super into me and then she dragged me back to her place and had her way with me all night lol. 1
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) Yea like said in your other thread, that can mean one of two VERY different things. So wouldn’t read too much into it in and of itself. But if there were other signs she was just using for emotional gratification, it would be more obvious she wanted to spend time with you in a friendly capacity, knew you wanted more than that, so offered to pay out of guilt Edited November 24, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 45 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: I made the mistake of talking to her on the phone for 3 hours before 1st meet This is generally the kiss of death but with the covid crap seems to be happening more. My current fling called me multiple times before we met, which made her comfortable enough to come to my area for a walk (with coffees she bought on her way here) before we came back to my place for wine and intimacy. That's definitely the exception and 90% of time all it does is sap you of things to talk about in person and forms a mental image that will never be met in person. Been burned by it many times.
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 43 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I’ve offered to do that before. I liked the guy but only in a friendly way , I don’t get spending $200 on dating apps. That boggles my mind. . I think your efforts would be better spent figuring out why dating seems to be so difficult for you and making self -improvements Because im depressed and down and out and in need of some quick reassurance. I figured since I have 5 days off in a row I am confident i can get 3 matches before next monday
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 18 minutes ago, elaine567 said: You thought because she paid she was very interested. Wrong. She paid as she was not feeling it and didn't want you to waste your money on her. Normally a woman would just not go at all and save a lot of time. The young me wants to leave a nasty message on her voicemail for wasting my time but I am beyond that now
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 17 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Yup, it's actually the opposite of what you're thinking OP. treat someone you are not interested in??? Thats brand new
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) Well that sounds like a horrific strategy that will most likely lead to more disappointment and depression. I suggest you get your mind right. Best of luck, regardless. Edited November 24, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 14 minutes ago, Mo_Do said: Some women will pay the bill or their half because they feel guilty and know they'll never see you again. However the last time one paid was because she was super into me and then she dragged me back to her place and had her way with me all night lol. Paying for herself makes more sense but paying for me and her is weird. Atleast lie and said you taking care of your 90 year old grandmother like the woman last year lol
poppyfields Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, IntBrowser said: What makes it weird is not only did she agree t o see me again in 3 days, she PAID for the whole date lol A different thought. Maybe you shouldn't have let her pay. That could be why the sudden shift. As warped as this sounds, some women shyt test - they offer to pay, if the guy let's her, it an automatic If he declines and insists on paying it's a . Not saying that's what happened, but possible. She might have gone home, talked about it with girlfriends, it's anyone guess what bs her girlfriends were telling her about a man allowing her to pay and all that. Edited November 24, 2020 by poppyfields 2
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 Paying just for herself would not make up for wasting your time 1
poppyfields Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 5 minutes ago, IntBrowser said: treat someone you are not interested in??? Thats brand new Yeah it's what elaine said. She didn't want to mislead you into thinking she's into you by you paying. But who knows. Now I'm thinking it may have been a shyt test. It's anyone's guess really. 1
Author IntBrowser Posted November 24, 2020 Author Posted November 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Well that sounds like a horrific strategy that will most likely lead to more depression. I suggest you get your mind right. Best of luck, regardless. actually right now I am seeking a intimate encounter to get my mind off of what just happened. So that $200 was the main purpose of that not dating. I postponed dating until 2021 4 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Well that sounds like a horrific strategy that will most likely lead to more depression. I suggest you get your mind right. Best of luck, regardless. actually i am seeking someone who is not my type to gain my confidence because Im so down 1
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) *** I am speaking , as a woman, who has offered to pick up the check for guys I knew really liked me*** So as weird as it may seem, it does happen. And it does happen for this reason. I felt really bad because I wanted their company, but I had 0 romantic interest. I thought paying for them to be there would somehow compensate for this and give them a reason to go. Also, just doing a nice thing. For what it is worth, they did not take me up on the offer and paid anyway but I did offer Edited November 24, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
poppyfields Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 Why did you allow her to pay? The entire bill? Second date? I find that strange.
poppyfields Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: For what it is worth, they did not take me up on the offer and paid anyway but I did offer Same! Again I find it odd you let her pay. The more I think about it, that might have been the kiss of death. Edited November 24, 2020 by poppyfields
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