renniezennie Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 My husband of a year is friendly with his coworkers. They often invite him out for drinks and he’ll go once every few weeks after work. Just 1-2 then he heads home to me. more recently this has been happening 2-3 times a week. His coworkers are fairly dramatic and the drama usually translates to the need for daily rehashings over a beer. My work schedule varies and if it’s a day I’m working late I really don’t mind if he goes out. But on the afternoons I get done early it’s starting to irk me if he’s out with them, even if he is always home by dinner time. I’m friendly with my coworkers and will go out for happy hour every once in a long while, much less with covid. Honestly I’d rather just be with him. Is it excessive to get annoyed by this? I don’t want to tell him what not to do but, again, I get disappointed when I find out he’ll be home 2 hours later than I expected.
mark clemson Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 As a spouse, you can set whatever boundaries you wish. Whether he sticks to them depends a lot on what he sees as reasonable. I'd try to keep the boundaries as loose as you can be comfortable with AND keep half an eye on him as well. I'm not making any paranoid accusations, but sometimes these things can lead to worse things sooner or later. That probably isn't the case with him as you're newly married. (Congrats, BTW.) Can you make being home those nights fun for him? Do mutually interesting stuff together? That might help a bit. Ultimately I think most LT couples "need their space" (at whatever level that might be for them personally) and one has to live with it (or leave).
schlumpy Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 It depends on what type of job he does. If it's an office or team like environment where people rely on each other then you may have to bite your tongue. It's essential to a good working relationship.
Milly May June Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 Have you told him how you feel? Sometimes we think the other person thinks as we do and should come to the same conclusion as we have come to whithput us uttering a word. Talk to him. Dont use an accusatory tone but say how you feel. Example 'husband when you are out 2 nights a week with coworkers, it makes me lonely becausd I miss sending time with you. I would like to spend more time with you after work on weekdays'
Wiseman2 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 9 hours ago, renniezennie said: My husband of a year happening 2-3 times a week. he is always home by dinner time. If it's getting excessive, speak up. Stop making dinner. If he's out this often, make sure you aren't home when he gets back. Sadly you are condoning it with your actions. Yes some company cultures encourage socializing, happy hours, etc. but if it's becoming a problem you need to speak up and take action. Why isn't he home to help with or make dinners once in a while? 1
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