mortensorchid Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 Last night I had an OLD. He seemed decent enough with the bit we had chatted online. We arranged for a meet up and he said he wasn't thinking when he set it up (he lived quite a distance away - about 30/40 miles) but I said that was okay with me. I wanted a change of scene and the quarantine was wearing on me. We met at a Mexican restaurant. How was it? He was a good guy. But... He was twice divorced, had 2 children (one he adopted and another biological - older one is in his early 20s and the younger is 9). He and I had some fun talking about things but he didn't have IT. He was not interested enough and was a beta male. Reminded me of this guy I had an OLD with over a year ago, he said the women he'd met said "You remind me of my ex husband - he was a nice guy but he was so passive." I guess that's all there are out there - Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Next.
Commongoal123 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 1 hour ago, mortensorchid said: Last night I had an OLD. He seemed decent enough with the bit we had chatted online. We arranged for a meet up and he said he wasn't thinking when he set it up (he lived quite a distance away - about 30/40 miles) but I said that was okay with me. I wanted a change of scene and the quarantine was wearing on me. We met at a Mexican restaurant. How was it? He was a good guy. But... He was twice divorced, had 2 children (one he adopted and another biological - older one is in his early 20s and the younger is 9). He and I had some fun talking about things but he didn't have IT. He was not interested enough and was a beta male. Reminded me of this guy I had an OLD with over a year ago, he said the women he'd met said "You remind me of my ex husband - he was a nice guy but he was so passive." I guess that's all there are out there - Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Next. It sounds like he just wasn't that into you. He backed out of meeting up because he "wasn't thinking" because of the distance of only 30/40 miles. And then proceeded to not be interested when you did meet. These are very clear indicators of a guy who knows he's not that into the girl in front of him, not a "beta". A beta would have fawned and feigned all over you to try and win your attraction through kindness and acting really, really interested. It's sad to see this. I'm sorry, good luck next time though. 1 1
ccas93 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 kind of like OLD for men. Most of the time you either get the staceys who think they are goddesses and queens and come off cartoonishly narcissistic, or you get the beckys with low and sometimes very low self esteem. 1
Chilli Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) Andddddd, once again the guys got problems bc he's not into her , this ones a betta , according to her, whatever tf that is. Sounds like a damn good man to me if he adopted a child , but l know , he's got problems. You could've found out he's been married twice with a few words before you drove 40 mile , something lame about that l know that much, maybe your problem is your a betta female. Edited November 23, 2020 by Chilli 2
Ruby Slippers Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 Girl, I continue to respect and admire your persistence. It has to pay off eventually. 2
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 It may be best to rethink your perspectives and stay away from incels lingo and mindsets such as alpha, beta, Stacy, Becky, etc. These are disgruntled depressive ways of thinking. Going down these defeatist rabbit holes will further your despair. As convoluted as that thinking is, it seems to attract and rationalize "why", dating can be complex. However it blames the outside world and everyone else, thereby stunting insight further. Try to understand that dating out of boredom won't lead to much . Be selective and only meet up with people who at least match some of your criteria . 10
Commongoal123 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 I feel like I've read almost exacty the same post a few months ago here and my response was pretty much the same then 2
Versacehottie Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, mortensorchid said: Last night I had an OLD. He seemed decent enough with the bit we had chatted online. We arranged for a meet up and he said he wasn't thinking when he set it up (he lived quite a distance away - about 30/40 miles) but I said that was okay with me. I wanted a change of scene and the quarantine was wearing on me. We met at a Mexican restaurant. How was it? He was a good guy. But... He was twice divorced, had 2 children (one he adopted and another biological - older one is in his early 20s and the younger is 9). He and I had some fun talking about things but he didn't have IT. He was not interested enough and was a beta male. Reminded me of this guy I had an OLD with over a year ago, he said the women he'd met said "You remind me of my ex husband - he was a nice guy but he was so passive." I guess that's all there are out there - Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Next. He is probably thinking the exact same thing. bolded ^^^ Edited November 23, 2020 by Versacehottie 1
Miss Spider Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 What’s with all the wolf pack hierarchy language 4
Chilli Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 6 hours ago, Versacehottie said: He is probably thinking the exact same thing. bolded ^^^ Exactly 1
ccas93 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) 15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: It may be best to rethink your perspectives and stay away from incels lingo and mindsets such as alpha, beta, Stacy, Becky, etc. These are disgruntled depressive ways of thinking. Going down these defeatist rabbit holes will further your despair. With all due respect, let's say I didn't use the incel lingo. I would still probably notice this pattern and have this belief about OLD. Maybe it's a little more down to earth in other parts of the country but doing online in urban california is something else. Edited November 23, 2020 by ccas93
mark clemson Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) 19 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I guess that's all there are out there - Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Why - nice, successful, energetic, still cute and "got it", men with strong social skills and an at least halfway decent career. There are actually plenty of these in the world, especially e.g. in major urban areas. Probably the problem is the competition for them is high. Those who are single are because they want to be and would have plenty of options. Those who are relationship-minded are in one. My guess is they don't last long in the dating pool before getting snapped up. Our own @Trail Blazer appears to be one of these and I'd guess some of the other male regulars here are as well (within their age set). 17 hours ago, ccas93 said: kind of like OLD for men. Most of the time you either get the staceys who think they are goddesses and queens and come off cartoonishly narcissistic, or you get the beckys with low and sometimes very low self esteem. What is the "in-between" for a stacy/becky called? I'm a little rusty on my blackpill-speak for some reason. I don't think there actually ARE too many Stacey's out there in the world. Just like in reality there aren't too many Chads. Some, but not many. Being attractive doesn't necessarily make a girl mean or overly full of herself. I did see one the other week who might fit your description - very fit and showing off her midriff, with a very pretty face but an expression of - I guess self-aware malevolence is the best way to describe it. Really off-putting and made me think - yikes! Some poor guys have probably been lured to their emotional deaths by that siren. But that's like one in years. I have worked with and known plenty of women. Overall, I think the blackpill labels are the unfortunate holdover of a high school mentality for those who are unfortunate enough to have extremely bad luck with women and thus never really move past that psychologically. Edited November 23, 2020 by mark clemson 2 1
mark clemson Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) Really? Or are you just messing with me? I think the incels DO actually have a term for a "pretty good" woman. Edited November 23, 2020 by mark clemson 1
basil67 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 Regarding the alpha/beta language, @mortensorchid Do you really believe that men are binary and fit neatly into Alpha/Beta boxes? Or are you just mad and calling them Beta as some kind of insult? If you do believe in the language, have you ever looked at what negatives an Alpha possesses and what positives a Beta has? And what traits do you have which would make an Alpha choose you anyway? 2
Ruby Slippers Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 I think there's some truth to the alpha/beta duality. It's certainly been the case for me that the men with attractive "alpha" qualities that all women want aren't the nicest guys - and the "nice guys" are usually too deferential and willing to serve you and go along with whatever you want, which is a turnoff. The most attractive men who are also sweet and nice are married and probably locked down for life. So if you're dating past age 35, you'll see the mean alpha/boring beta duality more clearly.
Miss Spider Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 (edited) Nah I just made that up. That’s interesting, Ruby. I don’t subscribe to the belief that human social structure can be likened to any other animals. However, if I needed to categorize them this way, an ‘alpha’ would not be a jerk or unkind at all. Chimps, our closest relative , establish the leader spot with social skills to gain favor and trust of others in the pack. In my opinion, an alpha human would be more like this , rather than an aggressive or mean ‘alpha’ like in the case of gorillas. Edited November 24, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 7
ccas93 Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 2 hours ago, mark clemson said: I don't think there actually ARE too many Stacey's out there in the world. Just like in reality there aren't too many Chads. Some, but not many. Being attractive doesn't necessarily make a girl mean or overly full of herself. I did see one the other week who might fit your description - very fit and showing off her midriff, with a very pretty face but an expression of - I guess self-aware malevolence is the best way to describe it. Really off-putting and made me think - yikes! Some poor guys have probably been lured to their emotional deaths by that siren. But that's like one in years. I have worked with and known plenty of women. Overall, I think the blackpill labels are the unfortunate holdover of a high school mentality for those who are unfortunate enough to have extremely bad luck with women and thus never really move past that psychologically. Just to clarify, I hate incel culture, and I am not an incel whatsoever. However, I sort of see what they mean by "stacey" and "becky." When I go on an app, say bumble, here in the bay area you can quickly swipe through many impossibly hot girls posing like models in multiple bikini pics, and just trying to demonstrate through their profile how great and high-status they are. Then if you check out their IG, and they have like 2.5K followers or whatever, and tons of vacationing pictures and pics of them partying. Usually are highly educated, wealthy, and working some corporate job. Usually they are just on app for attention. They all seem so cut from the same mold, it becomes easy to just call them staceys. it seems like these types far outnumber young women who are hot but also present themselves in a down to earth, non narcissistic fashion. 2
Blind-Sided Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 On 11/22/2020 at 10:30 PM, mortensorchid said: .......Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Next. ummmmmmm..... there isn't. (A to B) But regardless... you didn't feel "it"... so, move on. With that said... look at it this way.... you had a nice night out, and it was a positive date overall.
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 On 11/23/2020 at 12:32 AM, Chilli said: Andddddd, once again the guys got problems bc he's not into her , this ones a betta , according to her, whatever tf that is. Sounds like a damn good man to me if he adopted a child , but l know , he's got problems. You could've found out he's been married twice with a few words before you drove 40 mile , something lame about that l know that much, maybe your problem is your a betta female. A beta male is the guy that is a needy wreck, blows the girls phone up, can't make a decision like where to meet the girl for a date, in general not very much of a man and repulsive to most women. Unfortunately todays society breeds these men like rabbits, after being rejected 100 times they go "MGTOW" or the like and hate women, meanwhile its 100% their own fault and get mad when you try to give them advice that works.
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 13 hours ago, ccas93 said: Just to clarify, I hate incel culture, and I am not an incel whatsoever. However, I sort of see what they mean by "stacey" and "becky." When I go on an app, say bumble, here in the bay area you can quickly swipe through many impossibly hot girls posing like models in multiple bikini pics, and just trying to demonstrate through their profile how great and high-status they are. Then if you check out their IG, and they have like 2.5K followers or whatever, and tons of vacationing pictures and pics of them partying. Usually are highly educated, wealthy, and working some corporate job. Usually they are just on app for attention. They all seem so cut from the same mold, it becomes easy to just call them staceys. it seems like these types far outnumber young women who are hot but also present themselves in a down to earth, non narcissistic fashion. Nah, they're just looking for instagram followers and the hottest guy on the internet 1
mark clemson Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 15 hours ago, ccas93 said: it seems like these types far outnumber young women who are hot but also present themselves in a down to earth, non narcissistic fashion. I think you're right, but I also agree with Mo_Do above this is primarily the would-be social influencer set, no? Maybe that's most attractive young women these days, dunno. Internet famous, the next best thing to being actually famous (for some), ha ha. 1
Mo_Do Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 2 hours ago, mark clemson said: I think you're right, but I also agree with Mo_Do above this is primarily the would-be social influencer set, no? Maybe that's most attractive young women these days, dunno. Internet famous, the next best thing to being actually famous (for some), ha ha. Its definitely that, every other girl on tinder has "never on here, add my instagram". Yeah, I am sure she replied to every guy that messages her. I actually saw one I use to work with, she has had the same BF for 10+ years and is on there primarily to gain followers. There are married w/ kids porn chicks on there doing the same thing too.
SumGuy Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 On 11/22/2020 at 10:30 PM, mortensorchid said: I guess that's all there are out there - Alpha Males aka Bad Boys or Betas. Where is the in between? Everything, but if you see people as alpha or beta that is a pretty black and white map, and one I believe that serves no one to any good purpose Of course if one wants to go down the whole PUA alpha/beta delusional rabbit hole, why not throw in sigmas, gammas, and I'm certain a slew of other Greek letters meant to explain things that don't fit the theory. 1
mark clemson Posted November 24, 2020 Posted November 24, 2020 2 hours ago, Mo_Do said: Its definitely that, every other girl on tinder has "never on here, add my instagram". Yeah, I am sure she replied to every guy that messages her. I actually saw one I use to work with, she has had the same BF for 10+ years and is on there primarily to gain followers. There are married w/ kids porn chicks on there doing the same thing too. All true IMO...
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