ms.stressed Posted November 19, 2020 Posted November 19, 2020 I was raped and abused. I tried to get back online, to get back to my old self and it didn't work... Trying to be who you were after being raped, abused, then stalked is like trying to go inside a haunted house over and over again...everyday. It's scary. So I deleted it and it makes me sad. I didn't know why, but now I do. I'm mourning the person I used to be. i was so open and honest and free. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel like anyone or anything could hurt me. i don't feel safe. I just gotta hide.
stillafool Posted November 19, 2020 Posted November 19, 2020 I'm so sorry, when did this happen? Was it since you were last on here?
Author ms.stressed Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 On 11/18/2020 at 7:38 PM, stillafool said: I'm so sorry, when did this happen? Was it since you were last on here? Yes. It's been almost a year since it happened. I have a therapist. I still get triggers. After typing this, I took sometime for myself. I don't know if being brave is fake or real. I don't know anymore. 2
smackie9 Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 I was sexually assaulted..not to the extent of you, but I do understand how hard it is to get over that experience. This will take time. I suggest doing some safe volunteer work to feel good and have some worth/self esteem. I did some charity stuff like collecting for the food bank, and warm clothes for the poor...it helped a lot. 3
boymommy Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 I'm really sorry. I've never been sexually assaulted but I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. My ex husband was terribly abusive to me and still is. I have to have a lot of therapy and it makes it very challenging to maintain another relationship because of this. Most of my old threads are still on here from about about 10 years under my old name (Lauriebell82). I haven't been real forthcoming with that info because my old threads got so long but I'm sure people remember how nuts my threads would get when I would talk about my ex husband and his behavior. Older members will remember me I'm sure! Anyway...my point in all that was I'm a survivor. Recovering from trauma is one of the hardest things you can do in life but don't give up. Keep with your therapy and reach out for support. Don't date if you aren't ready. Give it time! One thing I learned is that it's okay not to feel okay!
ThereSheGoes Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 This breaks my heart. I also have been raped. By someone I thought was my friend. I understand how scary it can be to trust another person again. And you do mourn over the person you used to be. Thats normal. I still think about her every day. But you don't have to force it. If you're not ready, you're not ready. You're doing what you're supposed to do, you're seeking healing. Stay with that. I had to take a break with dating, I stopped dating for a year because I was realizing that I was self harming myself in the process. It was my way of punishing myself for what had happened. You'll get back to a place where you can feel safe enough and secure enough to date. But don't force it, don't push for it too soon. Continue focusing on the healing. Dating can wait.
stillafool Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 4 hours ago, ms.stressed said: Yes. It's been almost a year since it happened. I have a therapist. I still get triggers. After typing this, I took sometime for myself. I don't know if being brave is fake or real. I don't know anymore. Yes I've been raped at gun point. It takes a long, long time to heal. You'll get there. 2
Pumaza Posted November 22, 2020 Posted November 22, 2020 SAD.But know that you can overcome this and come back stronger. Get your therapy,read selfhelp books about this topics. And pray to God ,for guide. Once you are stronger, take some kick boxing or so classes.It will make you get more confident. And work on speaking more.Share your story,when you able to.
Pumaza Posted November 22, 2020 Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Also try a hobby, that can help you express your pain. Like art, poems,singing. All the best. Edited November 22, 2020 by Pumaza 1
Commongoal123 Posted November 23, 2020 Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) I'm a guy and have never experienced rape, so that automatically puts me into a category of not being able to imagine what you've been through or exactly what you're feeling. However, I have experienced trauma in the form of psychological and emotional abuse and manipulation from childhood all the way to multiple girlfriends as an adult. Couple this with hard drug and alcohol abuse for years in my 20s, and I event went through a phase of extreme uncertainty about myself, who I was, what was real, is bravery real or fake, what's true and what's not.... when everything hit a head. Completely lost. There is light at the end of this dsrk tunnel my friend. Be with people who love you. Keep going to therapy. Keep reading and learning. Keep moving forward. You'll get to the other side of this. I am so sorry this has happened, but it will get better. Once you're able to identify narcissistic, psycopathic, and self-centered people, there will be no question in your mind that what you're seeing is real and the truth. And I'm certain you'll be able to see through all types of people for who and what they are. It will become like a 6th sense. And it will be empowering and you'll not only be able to protect yourself and others because of it, but also be able to help other people with whatever psychological challenges they may be having. Edited November 23, 2020 by Commongoal123 1
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