Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Posted December 3, 2020 I've reached out to her dad via text and Sked him to pick up her things 1
Ellener Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 51 minutes ago, Rtkennedy1 said: I've reached out to her dad via text and Sked him to pick up her things Good idea. You'll feel better when you reclaim your space. I don't keep anything in my personal space any more which I don't absolutely love, and nothig which reminds me of anything sad or negative.
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Posted December 3, 2020 Seemed like I had to take a step. Some part of me wants to make an impact and I know that the wrong expectation 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Rtkennedy1 said: I've reached out to her dad via text and Sked him to pick up her things Good idea. it's a step to healing.
Ellener Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 3 hours ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Seemed like I had to take a step. Some part of me wants to make an impact and I know that the wrong expectation Just keep going (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 Im trying , im working, And working on myself . The pain is quite unbearable and I'm constantly thinking Bout her trying to break the thought loop. Her father is coming Sunday to pick up some of her things . I still can't understand how she could do this. I still wonder if there is hope . I feel alone, and disposed of.
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 When I get home im just drained and trapped in my own thoughts..
Ellener Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 12 minutes ago, Rtkennedy1 said: I feel alone, and disposed of. You can get through this. Just because one person hurt you and behaved badly, other people will care better, you'll see. Don't try and get into it with her father- he's only going to see her side, which from what she's doing is a bit one-sided. Maybe have him text you and leave the stuff packed up outside? 1
Ellener Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 10 minutes ago, Rtkennedy1 said: When I get home im just drained and trapped in my own thoughts.. Learn to switch them off, channel yourself into other thoughts for a while. Only you can know what works, but try t make it something positive. I paint watercolours. 2
Acacia98 Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 21 hours ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Seemed like I had to take a step. Some part of me wants to make an impact and I know that the wrong expectation It's human to feel that way. Don't be too hard on yourself. It is good that you've taken a step. It'll ultimately help you make your way out of limbo and start to heal from this latest trauma. I definitely support your choice to go no contact. 1
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 Thank you. Still grasping at straws that she will regret this move. Im a great guy and did not deserve this treatment. Im not going to forget her actions or the trauma ive suffered. Waking up is hard. Its now been 20 days no contact. And every hour feels like a day. I know these are the chemicals in my brain telling me to chase but I won't do it. The support here is excellent. But I've learned taking no action is my best action. 6 2
Dan111 Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 Hey man, I feel your pain. My fiancé of 4 years left me literally 1 hour ago. I’m 35 years old and she’s basically saying she doesn’t feel ‘In’ love with me, just as a friend. I hope you are coping well and I will read some of the advice give here. Thanks 5
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 12 minutes ago, PhilUK said: Hey man, I feel your pain. My fiancé of 4 years left me literally 1 hour ago. I’m 35 years old and she’s basically saying she doesn’t feel ‘In’ love with me, just as a friend. I hope you are coping well and I will read some of the advice give here. Thanks Im sorry to here that brother, I hope she severely regrets her decision. Its traumatic and horrible.
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 Go no contact right away phil
ClearEyes-FullHeart Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Im a great guy and did not deserve this treatment. So happy to read this. You are a great guy and don’t ever doubt that. You will recover, and one day realize things turned out for the best and you will find love again and the right person. Just wanted to send healing vibes your way and agree with @ellener about not getting into it with her father on Sunday. He can’t help and you need to signal absolute strength. When I was in your position I just kept thinking...When they go low, we go high (h/t Michelle Obama). Edited December 5, 2020 by ClearEyes-FullHeart Typo 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 You're making great progress. Getting her parents to get her stuff is a huge step forward. 1
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 5, 2020 Author Posted December 5, 2020 Im trying the hardest hurdle is not knowing if shes even thinging about me at all. Accepting that il never hear from of see her again is such a pain of finality. Blaming myself for things I did/ didn't do.
Ellener Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 15 minutes ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Im trying the hardest hurdle is not knowing if shes even thinging about me at all. Accepting that il never hear from of see her again is such a pain of finality. Blaming myself for things I did/ didn't do. You know @Rtkennedy1 when I was @16 my mother left without telling people, then showed up a year later with a new baby...you can't see it now but a woman who would behave like this is not good for long-term family life for anyone. The woman you thought you knew was not real, you are grieving for numerous things right now. Grief does not last forever. 1 1
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 5, 2020 Author Posted December 5, 2020 Its extremely hard because of the suddenness, i cant stop blaming myself for not seeing the signs
Ellener Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 4 minutes ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Its extremely hard because of the suddenness, i cant stop blaming myself for not seeing the signs Well you've seen them now! What are you doing with your day today?
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 5, 2020 Author Posted December 5, 2020 Feeling devastating and helpless
Ellener Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 4 hours ago, Rtkennedy1 said: Feeling devastating and helpless Go for a walk, find some comedy, cook. Put the stuff to be picked up right by the front door or in your garage or car, so you can keep things brief with your ex's dad tomorrow.
Author Rtkennedy1 Posted December 5, 2020 Author Posted December 5, 2020 I dont even planning on being here 1
Recommended Posts