DaveNYC Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Well, here I am again with that old familiar feeling, breaking up. So... to set the stage with the facts first, here ya go. We've been going out now for only 6 months but it was a great ride. We traveled extensively, shared many thoughts, but I suppose I wasn't giving her all that she needed. Yes, indeed. I'm not a very emotionally open person so it was rather tough to spill my guts to her at times. She was a very needy person. Very needy of love and attention. She wanted to move in with me within two months of meeting. I was rather shocked, so I withdrew a little bit. And I suppose she ended up seeing that. Well, I suppose I didn't give her what she needed and with a sudden burst of ugliness she cut me free. So here I am in a downward spiral feeling a wee bit helpless and quite frankly suicidal. Very, very deep ugly thoughts. I have never been one to fall easy after a breakup. I fall rather hard and severe. And quite frankly I'm a little sick of it. So I keep having these pervasive feelings of ending it all. She meant so much to me, unlike anyone I have every dating. (At let me tell you, their have been a lot.) So I don't know what to do. I'm feeling lost and stupid. People know I'm in a funk. A friend tried to have me committed to a mental hospital. I talked him out of it. So..............ugh..................has anyone ever been in this position before? Have you fallen so hard you're embarassed about it? I know I am...... and I'm feeling like a putz. I just want to go away, but deep down I know that's not the cool thing to do. For everyone involved. Please.... anyone?
Beausene Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 I know how you feel. Honestly. Most of us on this board are going through the same thing. I feel as though my life is over, I'll never get over him, etc. But you know what? We will. You've been through this before, and you've survived. It's a part of life. It takes time. Sometimes, a very long time. But if you dwell on it, it will be worse. I couldn't eat for the first 2 weeks, I lost 16 lbs. I didn't think I would ever be able to eat again. But guess what? I do now. With a healthy appetite. So that proved to me that time does heal. I'm nowhere near being over him, but every day that I go on, it'll be easier. It takes patience. hang in there. I will be thinking of you. Anytime you need to talk/vent/scream, come and post. This forum has really helped me feel stronger, and not alone!
Author DaveNYC Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 I know, I know all that you say is true. I also know that I don't know If I can deal with all of this right now. I don't know if I want to go through this again. It is so hard. I am so sick of screwing up relationships. It it just the worst. and when I say it's just the worst I DON"T want to feel this way one more time. NO way. NO way. But then there's the issue of family and friends and being seen as a coward. THAT'S no good either. I'm swimming in indecision on what to do. I don't know what that decision will be. I really don't.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 let me tell you DaveNYC, i know how you feel, a lot of us do... but today i attended the funeral of a good close friend who commited suicide apparently over his relationship and this morning his gf and his 4 year old daughter were throwing in soil over his coffin and I was in tears everyone there today is so distraught and asking why he did this! ps. i have lost 4 family over the past 2 years including my dad so all this is too familiar and tonight the girl i love ditched me BUT I STILL HAVE HAVE OF SOMETHING good luck!
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 sorry HAVE HAVE means HAVE HOPE but i don't know where it comes from!
Author DaveNYC Posted October 14, 2005 Author Posted October 14, 2005 My heart goes out to you. All that happening at once it all seems so unreal. Very frightening stuff. Very sad. I've kinda started to screw my head on straight a wee bit more, but I still fear for the coming days ahead. Today I kept busy. Tomorrow I hope I can do the same. It's the alone time that worries me. Oh my does it ever. Thanks for your thoughts.
Woggle Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 You live in NYC so there has to be something going on so go out and have some fun. It will help you.
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