lee179108 Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 9 hours ago, peach302 said: No he didn't reach out lol . Im the one whos planning on reaching out to him after 6 months.. i have yet to see how he will take me doing that out of the blue. But i have had other guys calling or messaging me after months or even years In fact even now I've received a fb messenger message from someone yet to find out who. Do you want the girl to speak to you again? Ahhh I get you! stupidly enough I do want her to reach out even after everything.. because shes the only one if had a connection with and i still miss her as its still a bit raw.. i know im strong enough to not reach out myself and i wont. So who knows, shes very stubborn though so i honestly dont think she will reach out again like she did last year when this happened. I was never horrible to her through the breakup and did say I would be there for her through dark times if she needed me... because thats the type of guy i am. But hopefully i can move on and find someone who wont do this sort of stuff to me...
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Chilli said: Only read the first post but wth didn't you just send the pic , has he even seen a few decent pics of you as in all of you? Can't believe you started a thread pretty well wondering what's wrong when you say you didn't even answer that instead you went on with other stuff and completely ignored it, he would've thought ok she's got somem to hide or just not that interested l'll let it go. Anyway , don't just assume he's with someone new., your still single , most people in this forum posting stuff just go round n round and back to singledom . l'd text him just for a bit of notice wanna talk tonight or something like, 6mths a bit of warning would help. lf he says no say you seeing someone or ? or whatever you like. Hes seen one pic of me...quite a long time ago now. He saw it then said i am pretty. Then when we started having on and off contact..im assuming he thought maybe i wasnt the persom in the photo or a possible catfish. Before i sent the photo he wss like how do i know you're not a dude behind the screen. He's had more experience being in relationships. Whereas ive been single almost my entire life. Which is why id assume in six months he would be on the lookout, thinking its done with us since i didnt talk about meeting him. Hopefully he is still available. I think ill call first, because he rarely responds to messages, if he doesn't pick up I'll send a message saying hello, etc etc. Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 26 minutes ago, lee179108 said: Ahhh I get you! stupidly enough I do want her to reach out even after everything.. because shes the only one if had a connection with and i still miss her as its still a bit raw.. i know im strong enough to not reach out myself and i wont. So who knows, shes very stubborn though so i honestly dont think she will reach out again like she did last year when this happened. I was never horrible to her through the breakup and did say I would be there for her through dark times if she needed me... because thats the type of guy i am. But hopefully i can move on and find someone who wont do this sort of stuff to me... I thought the answer would be yes. If i was you i probably wouldnt go back there as you said before she could do it again. Good luck finding someone!.
Chilli Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, peach302 said: Hes seen one pic of me...quite a long time ago now. He saw it then said i am pretty. Then when we started having on and off contact..im assuming he thought maybe i wasnt the persom in the photo or a possible catfish. Before i sent the photo he wss like how do i know you're not a dude behind the screen. He's had more experience being in relationships. Whereas ive been single almost my entire life. Which is why id assume in six months he would be on the lookout, thinking its done with us since i didnt talk about meeting him. Hopefully he is still available. I think ill call first, because he rarely responds to messages, if he doesn't pick up I'll send a message saying hello, etc etc. Yeah right makes even more sense now then he def needed more pics, not only but it's just nice too while your waiting to get together. Anyway yeah why not , who knows what his situation is but he'll probably pick up then in that case and let you know himself if your ok with possible disappointments , give it a shot. Good luck. Edited November 20, 2020 by Chilli 1
gamon Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: You're wrong about that. I'm not wrong. I didn't say it's a fact, I said "I didn't think.." That much is true.
Wiseman2 Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) On 11/17/2020 at 12:05 AM, peach302 said: Any way neither of us contacted the other after that and six months went by. If you haven't heard from someone in half a year, it's safe to say they're not interested and moved on. Why can't you start talking to other guys? Edited November 20, 2020 by Wiseman2 2
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: If you haven't heard from someone in half a year, it's safe to say they're not interested and moved on. Why can't you start talking to other guys? Well Obviously hes not interested because he thought i wasnt serious or interested myself. As our last interaction he wanted to meet up and i didnt follow up on that if you read the original post. I have spoken to people in between and none of them were my cup of tea. On a basic level i preferred his sincerity to move things forward at the very least. And the interest is mutual. Even though i haven't acted upon it. And thats why i would try again.
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 Oh mannn. Apparently theres a possibility of an extended lockdown right up until christmas . So basically. Not a couple of weeks...more like 6/7 weeks At this rate I'm never gonna see the guy or be able to explain my absence the longer and longer this goes on. Thanks covid! 1
Miss Spider Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 How much do you know about this guy? Maybe he has a girlfriend/quarantine buddy by now?
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: How much do you know about this guy? Maybe he has a girlfriend/quarantine buddy by now? I know quite a bit. He lives with parents..so i doubt he would be quarantining with a gf. I dont know if he is talking to anyone or his status. The only info i have to tell you lot is..him wanting to meet all those months ago and then disappearing i guess because he thought it wouldn't happen. But let's say lockdown wasnt going to be extended till xmas. I could have suggested to meet b4 then. Now i have no idea. End of december? Bloody January?. Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
Miss Spider Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 5 minutes ago, peach302 said: I know quite a bit. He lives with parents..so i doubt he would be quarantining with a gf. I dont know if he is talking to anyone or his status. The only info i have to tell you lot is..him wanting to meet all those months ago and then disappearing i guess because he thought it wouldn't happen. But let's say lockdown wasnt going to be extended till xmas. I could have suggested to meet b4 then. Now i have no idea. End of december? Bloody January?. I would say just change your pic on WhatsApp to a new, hot pic of you and then message him telling him it’s been a while but would be be down for meeting again when COVID blows over. That way, no matter what happens in between, if he isn’t otherwise attached, you will be in the back of him his mind somewhere. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right. 1 1
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 22 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I would say just change your pic on WhatsApp to a new, hot pic of you and then message him telling him it’s been a while but would be be down for meeting again when COVID blows over. That way, no matter what happens in between, if he isn’t otherwise attached, you will be in the back of him his mind somewhere. Nothing ventured, nothing gained right. Hmmmm. Interesting idea. I agree though pictures make a huge difference. Because i can visualise him since i got his pics..and initially when he got that first photo of me time back he was proactive..and personally i think it was because of the photo... i.e finding me attractive. Only thing is i don't want him thinking i only changed it because of him . Which is how it will look. As ive had the pic of me as a tiny tot for quite a few months. Ok i think ill call tell him we can meet after covid blows over and say if he wants a pic he can have one. . But man...its a while away. Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) . Sometimes i think maybe its just not meant to be. Hope im wrong though Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
Wiseman2 Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 Why can't you start talking to other guys? 1
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why can't you start talking to other guys? I just explained previously i did talk to other guys. Its easier when there is a mutual interest. Which in this case there is. I spoke to a few other guys in the last few months. One started talking about how he wanted 7 kids and spent his entire life on instagram liking pictures of women...i said im out. The other was being sexual the whole time so i blocked him... another one his idea of a ideal meeting was in a fried chicken shop..also he didn't graduate from university. Another one lived too far and wanted 5 kids...and finally there was one guy who blocked me because i hadn't replied in a day.. Those are the examples i remember. So as you can see.. a mutual interest is very uncommon for me. Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
poppyfields Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, peach302 said: He's had more experience being in relationships. Whereas ive been single almost my entire life. Why is that? How many long term relationships have you had exactly? That combined with your hesitation (or refusal) to meet when you had the opportunity lends me to wonder if you're an anxious-avoidant or something? I know this term gets tossed around a lot and I'm not saying you are, it's just causing me to wonder IF you might be. This entire thread reads avoidance to me, which is fine, no judgment, I've had my own issues. But it's something he may be concerned about. Could it be possible, after 6 months of NC, you are suddenly so keen on him again precisely because you know there's no opportunity to meet? Not for a long while anyway. It feels "safe." Edited November 20, 2020 by poppyfields 1
lee179108 Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 9 hours ago, peach302 said: I thought the answer would be yes. If i was you i probably wouldnt go back there as you said before she could do it again. Good luck finding someone!. Yes I know, its been such a tough time mentally and I know id be worried about it happening again. But I am very confident she wont reach out ever again. 1
Author peach302 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: Why is that? How many long term relationships have you had exactly? That combined with your hesitation (or refusal) to meet when you had the opportunity lends me to wonder if you're an anxious-avoidant or something? I know this term gets tossed around a lot and I'm not saying you are, it's just causing me to wonder IF you might be. This entire thread reads avoidance to me, which is fine, no judgment, I've had my own issues. But it's something he may be concerned about. Could it be possible, after 6 months of NC, you are suddenly so keen on him again precisely because you know there's no opportunity to meet? Not for a long while anyway. It feels "safe." I didnt find anyone worth the time if im honest or was too busy with life i guess. Studying and working. I wouldnt call any of them relationships. One was with a definite narc so that was very on n off as he was a narc.. the others were like off OLD not exactly relationships..just met a few times realised there was no compatibility. .oh there were a lot of people interested in me but i just didnt choose them. It didnt happen nothing to do with the attachment style.. i usually get dismissive avoidant. But im sure ive also had secure as well. So don't know how reliable that is. As for this guy...he asked at an odd time. Literally a week into the first lockdown. Approximately a 1000 people were dying per day from covid at that time. I genuinely didnt think it was a good idea to meet then. So i dont really understand why he thought it would be a good time. My mistake was not explaining any of that and probably allowing him to think i had disinterest. Have no idea wht will happen now if the lockdown goes on even longer or is extended. Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 Hey guys! So going into lockdown AGAIN in two days time. Case numbers have been high for some time now. Should i just give up on this? Like whats even the point any more. Can't meet the guy while all this is going on... and its hard to explain a no contact for 7/8 months. Not to mention he won't trust me..well he kind of never did ...saying i treat him as an option etc etc
Fletch Lives Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 You should meet within weeks, not months. This sounds like a catfish situation 1
Author peach302 Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 18 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: You should meet within weeks, not months. This sounds like a catfish situation He is suspicious of me. As in he thinks im the catfish/ im not taking it seriously
ExpatInItaly Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 4 hours ago, peach302 said: Should i just give up on this? Absolutely, unequivocally - yes. 1
Miss Spider Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, peach302 said: he thinks im the catfish/ im not taking it seriously can’t say I blame him. People who have nothing to hide and are serious about meeting meet. Or they at least video chat... Edited December 14, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author peach302 Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: can’t say I blame him. People who have nothing to hide and are serious about meeting meet. Or they at least video chat... I get that. To explain..i think it was the wrong timing. Also I'd got so used to speaking to duds online that when i came across someone serious i didn't know how to behave accordingly. i just became so casual myself. But it is what it is. In order to get him to take me seriously i would have to do a LOT. Edited December 14, 2020 by peach302
Recommended Posts