[UPDATE] How to approach this situation after six months zero contact?

[peach302]

12 minutes ago, gamon said:

We both know that you could stay a safe distance apart and not expose yourself to any risk. Are you home 24/7? You never leave the house? You're never in close contact with other people?

I notice you sidestepped the videochat question, no surprise there.

 

Yes two metres. Its weird enough having a first meet  with a stranger and then keeping apart that distance the whole time makes it difficult  too. I will go through with it. But following the lockdown. i do go out during lockdown for exercise and even then i hardly  see anyone about.

I don't  see my friends or anyone no. My only contact with people and friends now is virtual. 

 

What's the difference videochat or photo? Might aswell send a photo then. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[basil67]

17 minutes ago, gamon said:

We both know that you could stay a safe distance apart and not expose yourself to any risk. Are you home 24/7? You never leave the house? You're never in close contact with other people?

 

@gamon you know nothing of the sort.    You're just making uniformed assumptions about the rules of other countries.

She has said she's not in the US.   If she's in England (as her spelling/wording indicates), their rules are that she must not meet anyone outside of her household bubble.   The OP's writing style could also place her as Australian and there's been all kinds of strict lockdowns here too.  If she's in Adelaide, again, she currently can't meet with anyone.

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by basil67

[peach302]

12 minutes ago, boymommy said:

Online dating during covid is a risk just like anything else. You can get covid from doing anything including dating. You don't avoid buying groceries though, you avoid dating due to your attachment style under the excuse of covid. I think if you really aren't going to give this guy a fair shot then stop messing with him and let him go. Work on yourself for awhile and why you keep making the choices you do. 

We do online shopping. 

I have met a lot of people from OLD in person. So its not that. The attachment  style. 

I live with parents who are very high risk. People who don't  do the same won't  get it. Im obviously young and am not high risk. But anyway that's just side talk.

To be honest not speaking to him for six months is pretty much like letting him go. 

Coming back and speaking to him he may or may not be impressed. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[peach302]

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@gamon you know nothing of the sort.    You're just making uniformed assumptions about the rules of other countries.

She has said she's not in the US.   If she's in England (as her spelling/wording indicates), their rules are that she must not meet anyone outside of her household bubble.   The OP's writing style could also place her as Australian and there's been all kinds of strict lockdowns here too.  If she's in Adelaide, again, she currently can't meet with anyone.

 

Thanks basil! 

[gamon]

6 minutes ago, peach302 said:

What's the difference videochat or photo? Might aswell send a photo then. 

Seriously you don't know the difference?!

Ok I'll play along. A photo could be of anyone, from any time, at any age, at any weight.

Videochat is LIVE you can't (for all practical purposes) be deceptive as to who and what you are.

 

[gamon]

8 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@gamon you know nothing of the sort.    You're just making uniformed assumptions about the rules of other countries.

She has said she's not in the US.   If she's in England (as her spelling/wording indicates), their rules are that she must not meet anyone outside of her household bubble.   The OP's writing style could also place her as Australian and there's been all kinds of strict lockdowns here too.  If she's in Adelaide, again, she currently can't meet with anyone.

 

I don't believe this to be true. I don't think there is anywhere in world that there is a lockdown that prohibits anyone from leaving their house and conversing with someone from a safe distance.

[peach302]

2 minutes ago, gamon said:

I don't believe this to be true. I don't think there is anywhere in world that there is a lockdown that prohibits anyone from leaving their house and conversing with someone from a safe distance.

We can't meet anyone from another household atm. 

People are hanging out with their families.

In any case the guy could put me at risk..his job is very public facing and since it is he most likely hasnt restricted himself with  regards to socialising like i have. 

And since its been 6 months its not like we agreed to be in the same "bubble". 

[gamon]

You're both in complete lockdown and you can't meet anyone outside your bubble yet he's in a public facing job and he hasn't restricted himself to socializing.

I'm confused.

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by gamon

[peach302]

10 minutes ago, gamon said:

You're both in complete lockdown and you can't meet anyone outside your bubble yet he's in a public facing job and he hasn't restricted himself to socializing.

I'm confused.

 

 

Hes not someone who can work from home..his job doesn't enable him to. And since he works with and sees people during his working hours..he most likely wont then feel the need to restrict who he sees socially either. So hes probably been seeing and meeting a hell of a lot of people already. And the country has only been in lockdown for a week and a half. 

meeting him now at a time when the  infection or r rate is pretty high would be a risk. And i haven't heard from him in 6 months so have no idea what else hes been upto or who he's been seeing.

I on the other hand... haven't been exposed to one person out of my household. So you can compare and contrast. 

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[gamon]

If you met him in a public place while maintaining proper social distance while wearing a mask you won't be exposing yourself to any degree of risk.

Do you plan on staying locked inside your home (leaving only for a quick jog around the block) and not socializing with anyone for as long as the pandemic lasts?

That could be many months.

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by gamon

[boymommy]

32 minutes ago, peach302 said:

We do online shopping. 

I have met a lot of people from OLD in person. So its not that. The attachment  style. 

I live with parents who are very high risk. People who don't  do the same won't  get it. Im obviously young and am not high risk. But anyway that's just side talk.

To be honest not speaking to him for six months is pretty much like letting him go. 

Coming back and speaking to him he may or may not be impressed. 

I understand you aren't in the US and I don't agree completely with gamon's judgements either. But I still think you can meet someone and stay safe. But perhaps there are restrictions that I am unaware of. So maybe I should not rush to judgement here and I apologize if this is the case peach! 

Edited November 20, 2020 by boymommy

[peach302]

1 minute ago, gamon said:

If you met him in a public place while maintaining proper social distance while wearing a mask you won't be exposing yourself to any degree of risk.

Do you plan on staying locked inside your home (leaving only for a quick jog around the block) and not socializing with anyone for as long as the pandemic lasts?

That could be many months.

 

I may have to whilst in the company of shielding people. 

 . What's the point turning up in a mask. He wont be able to see my face   then either lol. 

I think once the r rate has gone down. I'll try to ask to meet him around  that time and will have to be careful. 

Apparently  a vaccine will come out soon too so theres hope yet. 

[gamon]

1 minute ago, peach302 said:

 What's the point turning up in a mask. He wont be able to see my face   then either lol. 

 

Another questionable question which I will play along with.

If you show up in a mask, and you are a safe distance away, you can.. wait for it.. lower the mask so he can see your face without exposing yourself to danger.

Even if you didn't want to take such a bold step, he'd still have a much better idea of your appearance, demeanor, figure, etc despite the lower half of your face being covered.

You still haven't answered why you refuse to engage in videochat.

 

[peach302]

11 minutes ago, boymommy said:

I understand you aren't in the US and I don't agree completely with gamon's judgements either. But I still think you can meet someone and stay safe. Even in England I would imagine that would be possible. But perhaps I have my head in the clouds and think people in general have too many excuses at times for things they are otherwise scared of. 

Im sure  there are people who do and you probably are not going to be the first or the last who thinks like that.

Being totally honest i wouldn't have waited this long if there wasn't  this to think about. 

In england people went mad when finally allowed out lol. I go out to walk on my own and id see huge groups of people sprawled out evrywhere without any distancing or masks. Why do you think we've had to lockdown now. Not only that but people are irresponsible and don't  care that they will be spreading their virus everywhere. I heard about a woman who went to her job whilst ill, and tested positive for covid.

Back to this though. Im sure this guy could potentially have found someone willing to see him.  Most young people i know in my age  category are not that responsible. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[peach302]

10 minutes ago, gamon said:

Another questionable question which I will play along with.

If you show up in a mask, and you are a safe distance away, you can.. wait for it.. lower the mask so he can see your face without exposing yourself to danger.

Even if you didn't want to take such a bold step, he'd still have a much better idea of your appearance, demeanor, figure, etc despite the lower half of your face being covered.

You still haven't answered why you refuse to engage in videochat.

 

Fair enough. Why do you sound so hateful in your tone lol. . But yeah the mask idea could work.. or i could get him to wear one so he can just protect me from it. But i don't know how he would take the request and me asking him to wear one.

I haven't  refused to engage in it. But i would prefer simply sending a photo. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[lee179108]

6 hours ago, peach302 said:

I was talking about whatsapp. When you can't  see a profile pic that means youre blocked. She sounds like she needs attention or something..hence coming back after "moving on". Dont worry about it just  don't give her a chance to do that again. Not that  i can talk because this guy did give me lots of opportunities

I dont see it that way as its like unfinished business. Or a potential missed opportunity. Since he asked to meet and i didnt fully take him up on the offer...thats not the same as your situation where by one of you said to the other to actually move on.

Hows it strange..do you know the number of men who have contacted me again after months/ a year / a couple of years? Its not unusual at  all. One example..a guy who i used to meet up with kept coming back and eventually said he has feelings for me and i hurt him badly. At the time i had no idea of his feelings. i was surprised.

But yeah back to my original point. Im shocked you've never heard of people contacting one another...after lengthy periods of time. 

Theres an option on whatsapp to choose where if you delete someone from your contacts that they cant see your profile photo, thats what she did.  I dont think she cares about attention, just wanted me gone so went through with it..  who knows if shel reach out, i dont expect it as she deleted my number but you never know.. yours reached out after 6 months so who knows. Maybe im shocked because its not happened to me before where people reach out after a long time... 

[gamon]

10 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Why do you sound so hateful in your tone lol. .

It's not you, please don't take it personally. It's about all the women who deceived me when I was online dating and I just never got past it so when I suspect someone is doing the same thing to others that was done to me I sort of trigger.

 

[peach302]

3 minutes ago, gamon said:

It's not you, please don't take it personally. It's about all the women who deceived me when I was online dating and I just never got past it so when I suspect someone is doing the same thing to others that was done to me I sort of trigger.

 

Oh i see. I could sense it was something along those lines. How did they deceive you?

Im not deceiving  the guy so don't worry . Im being extra  cautious and slow but hey hes probably potentially  been having fun and talking to other women whilst I've been stuck at home so don't  get too triggered. 

[peach302]

13 minutes ago, lee179108 said:

Theres an option on whatsapp to choose where if you delete someone from your contacts that they cant see your profile photo, thats what she did.  I dont think she cares about attention, just wanted me gone so went through with it..  who knows if shel reach out, i dont expect it as she deleted my number but you never know.. yours reached out after 6 months so who knows. Maybe im shocked because its not happened to me before where people reach out after a long time... 

No he didn't  reach out lol . Im the one whos planning on reaching out to him after 6 months.. i have  yet to see how he will take  me doing  that out of the blue. But i have had other guys  calling or messaging me after months or even years In fact even now I've  received a fb messenger message from someone yet to find out who. 

Do you want the girl to speak to you again?

 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[basil67]

2 hours ago, gamon said:

I don't believe this to be true. I don't think there is anywhere in world that there is a lockdown that prohibits anyone from leaving their house and conversing with someone from a safe distance.

You'd be wrong then.

Here are the current rules for Adelaide Australia https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/nov/18/adelaide-lockdown-south-australia-covid-19-restrictions-rules-coronavirus-explained-what-you-need-to-know

Including: 

• No one in the state will be allowed to leave their homes for six days, other than for essential reasons. Wherever people are from tonight, they will need to remain for the duration of the lockdown.
• All schools will be shut, with only vulnerable children and children of essential workers given exclusions.
• Childcare will also close, but children of essential workers are excluded.
• People will not be allowed to leave their homes for exercise, whether indoor or outdoor.

It pays to research before writing "facts" 

[peach302]

37 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You'd be wrong then.

Here are the current rules for Adelaide Australia https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/nov/18/adelaide-lockdown-south-australia-covid-19-restrictions-rules-coronavirus-explained-what-you-need-to-know

Including: 

• No one in the state will be allowed to leave their homes for six days, other than for essential reasons. Wherever people are from tonight, they will need to remain for the duration of the lockdown.
• All schools will be shut, with only vulnerable children and children of essential workers given exclusions.
• Childcare will also close, but children of essential workers are excluded.
• People will not be allowed to leave their homes for exercise, whether indoor or outdoor.

It pays to research before writing "facts" 

Appreciated! 

Edited November 20, 2020 by peach302

[Chilli]

Only read the first post but wth didn't you just send the pic , has he even seen a few decent pics of you as in all of you?  Can't believe you started a thread pretty well wondering what's wrong when you say you didn't even answer that instead you went on with other stuff and completely ignored it, he would've thought ok she's got somem to hide or just not that interested l'll let it go. Anyway , don't just assume he's with someone new.,  your still single , most people in this forum posting stuff just go round n round and back to singledom . l'd text him just for a bit of notice wanna talk tonight or something like, 6mths a bit of warning would help. lf he says no say you seeing someone or ? or whatever you like.

Edited November 20, 2020 by Chilli

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, gamon said:

I don't believe this to be true. I don't think there is anywhere in world that there is a lockdown that prohibits anyone from leaving their house and conversing with someone from a safe distance.

You're wrong about that.  

When we were under national lockdown here in Italy, we were prohibited from leaving our homes at all for non-essential reasons. There was no leaving the house to chat with others, regardless of the distance kept.  And yes, the police were checking and charging people who violated that. We needed to fill out and bring a declaration form with us any time we left the home, stating our identity and reason for being outside the house, to be presented to the police at checkpoints or if the police approached you on the street to perform a spot-check. Some parts of this country are back under those restrictions now in this second wave. 

You might want to get informed before you make assumptions. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[Chilli]

Hell yeah . Spain was too , and others.

[Wiseman2]

Be clear that you can't meet. If you want text buddies and cyberpals for now, that's fine.