stillafool Posted November 17, 2020 Posted November 17, 2020 3 hours ago, peach302 said: I guess im not like those attention seeking women who need to show off their beauty on insta to get validation. And if i don't do that someone thinks theres something wrong It's not showing off to send an additional photo to a guy you want to date just so he gets a better idea. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill with this picture thing. That is why he was suspicious. Anyone would be because it's too simple to just send a shot. 3
stillafool Posted November 17, 2020 Posted November 17, 2020 4 hours ago, peach302 said: Where do people come up with these random ideas.? Yeah ive seen threads here where the woman gained weight and the men didnt realise due to her not updating pics.. But it doesnt apply to everyone. This isn't a random idea. Lots of people have put on weight due to these lockdowns. Good for you if you haven't. Send the picture. 1 1
poppyfields Posted November 17, 2020 Posted November 17, 2020 55 minutes ago, peach302 said: But hes also weird in that he says i treat him as an option. So what? He should be an option, as you should also be an option, for him. My goodness, you've haven't even met yet, what does he expect, exclusivity? Lol Not quite sure what he's thinking there. We are all options until both people decide not to be. It's called dating. 2
Maldives Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 Just go out on a limb he's been clear about he feels about you and just be honest about what you feel for him you might surprise yourself and he will open up and let his walls down. You need to take a risk and risk him possibly having moved on but what have you got to lose let go of that guard and take a risk nothing ventured nothing gained balls in your court this time. The way I look at it whats the worse that can happen he says no so what no big deal you will be fine take a risk do it 1
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 3 hours ago, poppyfields said: If what you refer to as shallow is wanting to see a recent pic or pics, then most women are equally as shallow imo. Especially with OLD. I don't view a request for one or two recent pic as shallow. Harassing me for additional pics? Yes that is shallow. And annoying. That said, happy to hear you've decided to send him one! Let us know how it goes, good luck! It's not that he asked for more pics necessarily. I just get the feeling he is shallow..and thats the reason he initially chased me. Because he had nothing else to go on really. At the start i blocked him within a few weeks...and then unblocked him. In that time he called me every single day for a week. I only noticed after when i unblocked him. He would have simply got my voicemail. And then he commented on the other women he was being set up with.. Pretty much telling me they were all ugly . So yeah looks seems important to him. Whereas im a different kind of person where yeah i need attraction but im not proper obsessed with good looking men..even though people say im alright looks wise. Well pretty. I think personality and character and the rest of it is way more important. But yeah i feel like if i met in person it is easier to get a feel of how he really is. If that makes sense. All the rest of it is me judging him from miles away without ever having met him or spent time with him. But yeah Thanks poppy. Im gonna need the luck
Maldives Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 I'm betting he hasn't met anyone. It is Soo hard to meet someone these days re comparability etc so it's not like there falling off trees like apples. He won't reach out you as he thinks your not interested. Ive been this guy and we do stop trying if we feel we have tried a number of times and gotten no feedback or progress 1
mortensorchid Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 Move on. THis is just not good. It won't go anywhere. 1 1
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 3 hours ago, stillafool said: It's not showing off to send an additional photo to a guy you want to date just so he gets a better idea. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill with this picture thing. That is why he was suspicious. Anyone would be because it's too simple to just send a shot. True. I just got all up in my ego when he asked about it. I was like excuse me but im good looking lol. Because before then even though he saw a pic ..the initial pic ages ago he was still like are you pretty though? And i said people say i am..and he put in a skeptical emoji and was like i will be the judge of that.
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 14 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: Just go out on a limb he's been clear about he feels about you and just be honest about what you feel for him you might surprise yourself and he will open up and let his walls down. You need to take a risk and risk him possibly having moved on but what have you got to lose let go of that guard and take a risk nothing ventured nothing gained balls in your court this time. The way I look at it whats the worse that can happen he says no so what no big deal you will be fine take a risk do it Thanks. That's what ive been pretty much telling myself the whole time. . It would be weird him saying no if he does..as all this time he's just been giving me chances. But its gotta be done. 1
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 6 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: I'm betting he hasn't met anyone. It is Soo hard to meet someone these days re comparability etc so it's not like there falling off trees like apples. He won't reach out you as he thinks your not interested. Ive been this guy and we do stop trying if we feel we have tried a number of times and gotten no feedback or progress Yeah a lot of others have said he might have. Its 50/50. After he asked to meet (6 months back) i texted once or twice after within a couple of weeks and one he replied to and the next one he blanked. But i think maybe he was waiting for me to talk about the meeting and send a pic etc..and i didnt. Six months later here we are...no contact whatsoever. Thanks for the encouragement though! Its appreciated. 1
lee179108 Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 I really dont get the BS of not talking, then talking... blanking someone then randomly appearing... my ex did it to me, who knows if it will happen again.. If you want to meet him and talk to him then CLEARLY tell him what you want.. dont give any small talk or mixed signals.. tell him straight. If there was a reason you didnt meet before then tell him why. Just be direct. 1
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 1 hour ago, lee179108 said: I really dont get the BS of not talking, then talking... blanking someone then randomly appearing... my ex did it to me, who knows if it will happen again.. If you want to meet him and talk to him then CLEARLY tell him what you want.. dont give any small talk or mixed signals.. tell him straight. If there was a reason you didnt meet before then tell him why. Just be direct. There are a mixture of reasons why that happens in your case or any case..and they all differ. With regards to this initally he was very responsive even to messages ..as time went on he started ignoring my texts. But basically it got to the point where if i wasnt giving him what he wanted specifically at the time he would stop responding. Anyway now i will try to be direct and say i want to meet at an appropriate time after the lockdown..and when cases have settled down a bit. And see how he reacts to that. Its difficult as the date we meet will still be multiple weeks away. Not to mention the stuff that's gone on before and the fact theres been a gap of six months since we spoke properly.
Miss Spider Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) Hey peach now you are saying that you want to meet after the lockdown and things have settled down a bit. Earlier, you just said that things could go on like this indefinitely, so you’d meet outside ASAP . I don’t understand why a guy with options who wants a real romantic or sexual relationship would continue to respond/communicate with someone online who keeps postponing meeting. That raises a strong suspicion that you are not who you say you are. Would you be at least willing to do a video chat with him? If it were me, I would not respond to you again until it was time for face to face. Sounds like just another excuse to keep him on your tether. But good luck to you. Edited November 18, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) 24 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Hey peach now you are saying that you want to meet after the lockdown and things have settled down a bit. Earlier, you just said that things could go on like this indefinitely, so you’d meet outside ASAP . I don’t understand why a guy with options who wants a real romantic or sexual relationship would continue to respond/communicate with someone online who keeps postponing meeting. That raises a strong suspicion that you are not who you say you are. Would you be at least willing to do a video chat with him? If it were me, I would not respond to you again until it was time for face to face. Sounds like just another excuse to keep him on your tether. But good luck to you. I basically said i would meet him but not during a lockdown. Nothings opens...no one even goes out during a lockdown.. So at the minimum...it would be another 3/4 weeks..however they may increase lockdown period where i am even after the 3/4 weeks.we just have to wait and see. I understand why he would find it suspicious given our history... Personally i would see a lockdown and living with a shielding individual as legitimate reasons. But he may not believe me of course as you're saying. I dont expect him to wait for me..it would be cool if he said yeah sure. But obviously in the mean time if he doesnt want to keep in touch etc..i dont expect that either.. but ill just tell him ill let him know when i can meet..it will be after lockdown...if hes fine with that then ok. If he decides its too much for someone he hasn't met etc...then its fine also. Im not necessarily someone who wants to keep texting someone unnecessarily..and i rarely do anyway. Edited November 18, 2020 by peach302 1
Miss Spider Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) Okay I see.. Yea I’m just saying contact when you intend to meet... so you’re not building up a relationship with someone, then you meet, no spark. Welp, like I said before I hope it works out Edited November 18, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Okay I see.. Yea I’m just saying contact when you intend to meet... so you’re not building up a relationship with someone, then you meet, no spark. Welp, like I said before I hope it works out Yeah i wanted to say we can meet and ill let him know soon when. And in between i don't expect calls and texts.... So at least he knows im ready and willing. As opposed to never mentioning a meetup till a month and a half later. So the option is still there for him If hes for instance found someone else or wants to keep looking then ill let him get on with it!. And cheers shortskirts.
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Okay I see.. Yea I’m just saying contact when you intend to meet... so you’re not building up a relationship with someone, then you meet, no spark. Welp, like I said before I hope it works out He doesnt think i am who i say i am any way. But before then it seemed he was happy to continue calling and messaging me. without the meet up element. At times he spoke to me like he had made up his mind that im the one lol ...Only later he was like hang on a minute ... is she really real. And suspicions kicked in. In other words he was getting carried away himself. Whereas i was trying to stop that from happening. Just an example when he would ask if i miss him and stuff like that..and i avoided the question..because i know theres no point saying things like that to one another before seeing each other. Edited November 18, 2020 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 For petes sakes . At this rate it feels like a long shot
poppyfields Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) 48 minutes ago, peach302 said: He doesnt think i am who i say i am any way. But before then it seemed he was happy to continue calling and messaging me. without the meet up element. At times he spoke to me like he had made up his mind that im the one lol ...Only later he was like hang on a minute ... is she really real. . And suspicions kicked in. In other words he was getting carried away himself. peach, reading the above, specifically the bolded, guy is totally playing you. Happy messaging without meeting? You're the one? Getting carried away with himself? Girl, you've never even met, come on. I've been through same with many guys, they're all over the internet. They all turned out to be "players" for lack of a better word and 100% full of ****. I'm sorry, I hope I'm wrong but any man who tells, suggests, implies, hints that "you're the one," before ever even meeting, do yourself a huge favor and block/delete. Nothing good or positive will, or very rarely, come of that. Next. Edited November 18, 2020 by poppyfields
poppyfields Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 And this crap about feeling hurt or whatever he's feeling because he thinks you consider him an option? That one's funny. He's messing with you! Like I said before, of course he's an option, you know it, and he knows it. And you are an option for him! It would be absurd to think either of you were anything other than an option, you've never even met! He is so totally messing with you peach. But if you can detach from the outcome and have fun with your on line interaction, go for it, have fun with it. Just don't expect anything to become of it. 1
basil67 Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) On 11/18/2020 at 2:12 AM, peach302 said: Im definitely not blocked..i sent him a government article thing the other day..it was something important which i sent to everyone on my list... so thought may aswell...it got blue ticked. Did he respond with thanks? If he did, then you may well get a conversation going again. If he didn't, this would indicate that he sees you as not even worth the effort of sending a 'thumbs up' emoji. Edited November 18, 2020 by basil67 grammar
boymommy Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) I'm not sure how compatible you guys really are...he's a phone person you are a text person. He wants to get a relationship off the ground, you come across as hot/cold, sometimes into it, sometimes not. You can tell him you want to get a relationship off the ground all you want but in reality actions speak louder then words. Your ACTIONS dictate this really is not what you want..at least not with this man. He'd be better off finding a person with whom he can find more consistency and someone who is looking for the same things. Because if there is one thing I have learned, no matter how much you SAY you want it or may THINK you want it...your actions will almost ALWAYS show the real story. You aren't interested in this man so pursue someone who you are interested in. It will save you both time and hassle later. Edit: I just read you have yet to even MEET this man. Well then there isn't anything to pursue yet! You don't know if you will even like each other. Meet him and then determine if there is anything there to pursue! Edited November 18, 2020 by boymommy 1
boymommy Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 On 11/17/2020 at 12:38 PM, peach302 said: Its not that its a problem to send another pic. Its all the suspicion and i am not who i say i am etc.. it gets annoying. I kind of get where you're coming from i just find the whole thing annoying. People thinking im a catfish when im not. I know a guy who i used to meet before from an app..he contacts me randomly (hes married now) but anyway he said he never understood why i don't show off more pics and change my whatsapp pro pics etc as he thinks im very attractive etc etc.. I guess im not like those attention seeking women who need to show off their beauty on insta to get validation. And if i don't do that someone thinks theres something wrong. Why are you annoyed? It stands to reason someone would think they are potentially dealing with a catfish if they had been talking to someone for that long but had yet to meet (and that person had been evasive/avoidant). I personally think I dealt with a few catfish as well when I was doing OLD. It was just a hunch. It was mainly in cases where I felt like guys were into only texting but avoiding actually meeting me. Because why would anyone go on a dating site but not actually want to meet someone? That seems counterproductive 2
poppyfields Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) Does not anyone think him telling or alluding to peach being "the one" is crazy talk given they've never met? I have a totally different take on this now since you posted that peach. Not good. Playerish, love-bomberish, living in fantasylandish. Don't bother sending him a pic, just next him. He's never going to meet you, covid or no covid. Just my take, but good luck whatever you decide. Edited November 18, 2020 by poppyfields
Author peach302 Posted November 18, 2020 Author Posted November 18, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: peach, reading the above, specifically the bolded, guy is totally playing you. Happy messaging without meeting? You're the one? Getting carried away with himself? Girl, you've never even met, come on. I've been through same with many guys, they're all over the internet. They all turned out to be "players" for lack of a better word and 100% full of ****. I'm sorry, I hope I'm wrong but any man who tells, suggests, implies, hints that "you're the one," before ever even meeting, do yourself a huge favor and block/delete. Nothing good or positive will, or very rarely, come of that. Next. I think that came out wrong..as in i described it in the wrong way. But hes not one of those types i know. I know which ones you mean..the f boys. He doesnt come across like that to me..hes pretty serious..usually straight forward..and very expressive..basically all of the things im not .. ok im serious but i dont express or communicate as well as he does. So yeah dont worry hes not the player type. I can smell those a mile away. .ive had plenty of experience on OLD Edited November 18, 2020 by peach302
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