stillafool Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 11 hours ago, peach302 said: and just says only work so far ..anyway i dont want to take this any further. ^^^If he told you this^^^^ 11 hours ago, peach302 said: I think when i call him in going to mention meeting like you said..but before all that ask him why he changed his mind or what exactly happened. Please don't contact him again, He is simply not interested. Don't try to make him explain why. It's time to move on to someone else.
trident_2020 Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 Don't discourage her! We've got a betting pool going on this at work. I pulled all my cash out of Bitcoin and put in on "restraining order". 2 1
stillafool Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 On 1/21/2021 at 9:46 PM, Trail Blazer said: The person has to actually like you for the absence to cause their heart to grow fonder. This. If you had dated a few months, had mind blowing sex and and compatible; then absence may make his heart grow fonder. Right now he has no memories with you to reflect back on and miss you. Instead he made it clear he's no longer interested. Sorry Peach but he probably thinks you are immature and a bit silly. 1
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, trident_2020 said: Don't discourage her! We've got a betting pool going on this at work. I pulled all my cash out of Bitcoin and put in on "restraining order". Where was his when i blocked him from both the app and whatsapp and he called me 14 times in one week. I love how i get discouraged from calling ONCE to understand a few things yet he could get away with it.. he did what he wanted to do. Edited January 23, 2021 by peach302 1
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 30 minutes ago, stillafool said: This. If you had dated a few months, had mind blowing sex and and compatible; then absence may make his heart grow fonder. Right now he has no memories with you to reflect back on and miss you. Instead he made it clear he's no longer interested. Sorry Peach but he probably thinks you are immature and a bit silly. Yeah i can see him thinking that im immature and silly. Im still going to call regardless. Just once though
trident_2020 Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 He did what he wanted to do which was to call you 14 times. You did what you wanted to do which was to pick up the phone 14 times. When and if you do what you want to do which seems to be calling him one of these days or weeks, it will then be up to what he wants to do which can include (but not be limited to), picking up the phone, hanging up on you, telling you how happy he is to hear from you, and getting a restraining order.
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: He did what he wanted to do which was to call you 14 times. You did what you wanted to do which was to pick up the phone 14 times. When and if you do what you want to do which seems to be calling him one of these days or weeks, it will then be up to what he wants to do which can include (but not be limited to), picking up the phone, hanging up on you, telling you how happy he is to hear from you, and getting a restraining order. I never said i picked up though. I didnt pick up once. He was blocked so more than likely..it rung once and went straight to voicemail. Yet he continued to call And fair enough. ill take my chances Edited January 23, 2021 by peach302
stillafool Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 The most that might happen at this point is the guy will go ahead and try to have sex with you because you've wasted so much of his time he'll figure he may as well hit and quit to get something out of this. 33 minutes ago, peach302 said: Where was his when i blocked him from both the app and whatsapp and he called me 14 times in one week. And, how long ago was this?
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 10 minutes ago, stillafool said: The most that might happen at this point is the guy will go ahead and try to have sex with you because you've wasted so much of his time he'll figure he may as well hit and quit to get something out of this. And, how long ago was this? It was a while back when i wasnt too bothered about him. I dont think he'll hit n quit . He'll either say the same again on thr phone....or he'll maybe reconsider. Hes given me plenty chances before.
lionheart153 Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 14 hours ago, peach302 said: Hmmmm. I kind of said some of that in our recent text exchange on the app right before he said he doesn't want to take it further. Like i finally told him i am serious and not just messing around ( because he always used to say he doesnt want to be my pen pal).. and i also said i know i should have called a lot earlier instead of waiting...and how we could have met up..and he was interested then saying how and where would we have met. I didnt say i like him though as directly as that . Dont think i ever have. And then following all that i kind of mentioned how hes lucky because i rejected so many guys before i spoke to im again (dont ask why i said that lol). And he kept continually asking why me and why not them..and i sort of briefly said he's got a couple of good qualities i.e hardworking..goal oriented etc..and he said ive got good insight. Oh and then i asked him if hes talking to anyone else he didn't answer and just directed it back at me and i said lots of guys are trying to get to know me but its not mutual i asked him again and hes like obviously people want to know me.. Anyway then he asked how my day was ..i replied the following day instead of on the day he messaged. I said my day was good..hows your saturday And without any warning he abruptly ends it all...and just says only work so far ..anyway i dont want to take this any further. Good luck. And he unmatched me before i even had a chance to say anything else.... Your guess is as good as mine.. I think when i call him in going to mention meeting like you said..but before all that ask him why he changed his mind or what exactly happened. I think it's time to move on then. The window to anything between you two is closed. Why chase it because once you get close you start trying to act aloof and play the game but he clearly sees you chasing him and he doesn't sound interested anymore. Metaphorically its like you are chasing him, running up to him and once you are infront of him talking you tell him things like "i have other guys to talk to" or "i am serious but I don't want to video chat with you" it just looks to obvious what you are trying to do and that's probably why he is no longer interested. You cant be aloof if you look desperate at the same time. 1 1
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, lionheart153 said: I think it's time to move on then. The window to anything between you two is closed. Why chase it because once you get close you start trying to act aloof and play the game but he clearly sees you chasing him and he doesn't sound interested anymore. Metaphorically its like you are chasing him, running up to him and once you are infront of him talking you tell him things like "i have other guys to talk to" or "i am serious but I don't want to video chat with you" it just looks to obvious what you are trying to do and that's probably why he is no longer interested. You cant be aloof if you look desperate at the same time. How can i be desperate if i message after 8 months.. Like what.. Initiating contact is not chasing (especially when hes the one who suggested us meeting earlier).. i could have anyone i want right now if i wanted them. I only reached out to him be cause he wasnt messing around and wss serious for a long time about me and i didn't give him what he wanted at the time. So im trying to make amends. What you stated there sounds like a game. Im not playing games. Anyway im going to go ahead and call him...to clarify things. Edited January 23, 2021 by peach302
stillafool Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 24 minutes ago, peach302 said: How can i be desperate if i message after 8 months. Because after 8 months you still don't have anyone and are back to chasing him again. 2
Author peach302 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) 44 minutes ago, stillafool said: Because after 8 months you still don't have anyone and are back to chasing him again. That's an assumption. I spoke to plenty guys ( at least five)who were interested in me..it just wasnt mutual for whatever reason.. Anyway im not going to explain myself. People can assume as much as they want and continue being WRONG. Because hearing people make the wrong assumptions and using the wrong words time and time again is counterproductive and not helping me in any way. Edited January 23, 2021 by peach302 1
lionheart153 Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 9 hours ago, peach302 said: That's an assumption. I spoke to plenty guys ( at least five)who were interested in me..it just wasnt mutual for whatever reason.. Anyway im not going to explain myself. People can assume as much as they want and continue being WRONG. Because hearing people make the wrong assumptions and using the wrong words time and time again is counterproductive and not helping me in any way. Yea I understand what you're saying and I mean this in the nicest way possible. from a guy's perspective it can come off as "8 months and she's still has me on her mind eh?" And you clearly seem to put him infront of all these other guys that you say you are talking to. And did you not contact him first after the 6 months? 1
Author peach302 Posted January 24, 2021 Author Posted January 24, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, lionheart153 said: Yea I understand what you're saying and I mean this in the nicest way possible. from a guy's perspective it can come off as "8 months and she's still has me on her mind eh?" And you clearly seem to put him infront of all these other guys that you say you are talking to. And did you not contact him first after the 6 months? I understand that. But its because it was unresolved. The last we spoke he asked to meet in person....and send him more pics on a three hour convo on the phone . He was definitely interested. So really it was my turn to reciprocate after that but i didn't really. Instead i just left it for months almost like ghosting ... That's why i contacted him in the first place. Because if he hadnt done any of that i wouldn't have bothered reaching out. And almost the entire time ive known him he made most of the effort...calling me...mentioning meet ups.trying to get to know me. Now i know i should have acted a lot earlier than this. But if there's a chance i can start again i would take it. Obviously it looks unlikely now to everyone here. But i will try. And once I've done that i can say i finally put in effort. It doesn't matter to me how it is going to be perceived any more. Because most of my life that's whats held me back .pride/ego whatever you want to call it. Not just with this man but previous men too...and in the end i remain single because they find women who are more forthcoming. If it doesnt go according to plan which it may not and he truly has lost interest.. i will know straight away by his reaction ...then deuces. I'll be done and on my way. Edited January 24, 2021 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted January 24, 2021 Author Posted January 24, 2021 (edited) 30 minutes ago, lionheart153 said: Yea I understand what you're saying and I mean this in the nicest way possible. from a guy's perspective it can come off as "8 months and she's still has me on her mind eh?" And you clearly seem to put him infront of all these other guys that you say you are talking to. And did you not contact him first after the 6 months? Oh another thing...the first thing he mentioned was my disappearance. And had a go at me about it. He was pissed off but at the same time saying he shouldnt assume as maybe i was going through a hard time and then he said hes just glad im ok. So he clearly didn't forget either. ..and as soon as i matched him back on the app he knew who i was. He wasnt racking his brains. Like who is this person adding me. I have that problem a lot because ive unmatched 100s of guys. So when someone rematches i have to really think who it is for ages and sometimes don't even remember lol. Edited January 24, 2021 by peach302
stillafool Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 On 1/23/2021 at 12:35 PM, peach302 said: That's an assumption. I spoke to plenty guys ( at least five)who were interested in me..it just wasnt mutual for whatever reason.. I never said you didn't have guys interested in you, that was your assumption. Still you are back at this guy because you still haven't found anyone in 8 months where you both were mutally interested in each; like you said for whatever reason. Anyway im not going to explain myself. People can assume as much as they want and continue being WRONG. What else can people do but assume when we don't know you. If you want people who know all about you then talk to friends and relatives. We are strangers. Because hearing people make the wrong assumptions and using the wrong words time and time again is counterproductive and not helping me in any way. What are the right words to say to you, according to you?
Author peach302 Posted January 24, 2021 Author Posted January 24, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, stillafool said: What are the right words to say to you, according to you? Well not using words like chasing and desperate would be nice . But anyway i think its hard for people to understand because they don't know his side...and absolutely all the details. So all the gaps are filled in with assumptions. It is what it is though. I won't be focusing on this too much longer. I'll just do what i need to do which is make the call and whatever happens happens! I'm a person of value so once i speak my truth and he has all the facts..the rest is upto him. I just know I've been severely misunderstood..which can happen when one texts too much. So need to change that Edited January 25, 2021 by peach302
basil67 Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 What will you do if he's blocked you? Or if he doesn't care to hear what your truth is?
Author peach302 Posted January 25, 2021 Author Posted January 25, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, basil67 said: What will you do if he's blocked you? Or if he doesn't care to hear what your truth is? Nothing. It will be over and done then. I probably wont care no more. If i hazard a guess hes deleted my number without any blocking going on Edited January 25, 2021 by peach302
Author peach302 Posted February 8, 2021 Author Posted February 8, 2021 Hello guys! Im going to call quite soon. Any last minute tips or advice. Also how should i start the conversation given the circumstances. Just in case hes thinking why the hell are you calling me kinda thing.
Recommended Posts