Author peach302 Posted January 14, 2021 Author Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, cleverusername said: Name 3 things you like about this guy besides his looks. Sometimes hes funny Really ambitious and hardworking Seems the monogamous type..not ho ing around basically Apart from my looks i dont know what good he would say about me though . But that's down to me not letting him in fully. Once he said to me but a while ago was im a nice person but a bit of a mystery. Edited January 14, 2021 by peach302
cleverusername Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, peach302 said: Sometimes hes funny Really ambitious and hardworking Seems the monogamous type..not ho ing around basically Apart from my looks i dont know what good he would say about me though . But that's down to me not letting him in fully. Once he said to me but a while ago was im a nice person but a bit of a mystery. Good. So the good news here is that your attraction is more than superficial. The other good news is that these are all qualities that aren’t super rare. Meaning, if he does reject you, it isn’t a “I missed my one true love” type of deal, right? No reason to get super upset with him if it doesn’t work out. You will 100% find a guy with all these qualities again. It may not be the same face, but you will find it! You are a prize too. If he says no this time, or doesn’t respond it’s his loss. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t keep trying. Don’t keep trying to get his attention. Don’t be angry. Go be someone else’s prize! Hell, you could say that now. What do you need this guy for? There are plenty more like him, you just need to stop putting this guy on the pedestal and find the person who sees you as a prize, because this guy doesn’t. Who’s fault that is at this point is irrelevant. Go get what you deserve Edited January 14, 2021 by cleverusername 1
Author peach302 Posted January 14, 2021 Author Posted January 14, 2021 7 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Good. So the good news here is that your attraction is more than superficial. The other good news is that these are all qualities that aren’t super rare. Meaning, if he does reject you, it isn’t a “I missed my one true love” type of deal, right? No reason to get super upset with him if it doesn’t work out. You will 100% find a guy with all these qualities again. It may not be the same face, but you will find it! You are a prize too. If he says no this time, or doesn’t respond it’s his loss. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t keep trying. Don’t keep trying to get his attention. Don’t be angry. Go be someone else’s prize! Hell, you could say that now. What do you need this guy for? There are plenty more like him, you just need to stop putting this guy on the pedestal and find the person who sees you as a prize, because this guy doesn’t. Who’s fault that is at this point is irrelevant. Go get what you deserve thanks. He did initially see me as a prize...till i acted up. But you're right its not relevant now.. i guess. I'll deffo will not dwell after this one time that i call him... to be honest i don't have the time to either.
Author peach302 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 I've decided im definitely going to call in a week/2 weeks time. Still haven't got a plan though. Given that i have no idea why he flaked on me like that..if it was another person/if he didnt like my new pictures/or if he was generally fed up burnt out from our on and off history. How should i start the call ..what would be the best thing to say in order to have a successful outcome in that he changes his mind and wants to actually start again? As opposed to him not wanting anything to do with no more. Since this is my only chance i would like it to go well. As i can't keep continuing to call.
stillafool Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 1 hour ago, peach302 said: I've decided im definitely going to call in a week/2 weeks time. You said this back in November and still haven't called over 500 posts later. What is the hold up? 3
Wiseman2 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 1 hour ago, peach302 said: I've decided im definitely going to call in a week/2 weeks time. Are you still messaging him through the dating app or texting? Have you contacted more viable guys through the dating app? 1
amygirl908 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 1 hour ago, peach302 said: I've decided im definitely going to call in a week/2 weeks time. Still haven't got a plan though. This isn't a strategy session. You obviously want to call him so just do it and it get it over with. Delaying the event won't make the rejection any less hurtful or the acceptance any better. This is just dragging out your anxiety. No plan needed just pick up the phone, dial his number and hope he answers. I've spent days and weeks mapping out or planning a conversation and it doesn't work. If you want to have a "plan" jot down a 2-3 points that you don't want to forget to make and leave it at that. 1 1
poppyfields Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 3 minutes ago, amygirl908 said: This isn't a strategy session. You obviously want to call him so just do it and it get it over with. Delaying the event won't make the rejection any less hurtful or the acceptance any better. This is just dragging out your anxiety. No plan needed just pick up the phone, dial his number and hope he answers. I've spent days and weeks mapping out or planning a conversation and it doesn't work. If you want to have a "plan" jot down a 2-3 points that you don't want to forget to make and leave it at that. This. Just say "hi, it's peach." Then wait for his response and you can both take it from there, organically. Hearing your voice might trigger certain emotions. That's been my experience with the men I've dated. Good luck peach and let us know. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 4 hours ago, peach302 said: I've decided im definitely going to call in a week/2 weeks time. Why? He's told you he isn't interested. Respect that, and leave him alone. 2
stillafool Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: He's told you he isn't interested. Oh I didn't know he said that. If this is the case please do not call and leave this guy alone. Don't give him an opportunity to reject you again.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: Oh I didn't know he said that. If this is the case please do not call and leave this guy alone. Don't give him an opportunity to reject you again. Yes, he told her this: On 1/9/2021 at 6:12 PM, peach302 said: N he comes out with only work so far and im sorry ive decided i don't want to take this any further. OP - just stop. Delete his number. 2 1
poppyfields Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Yes, he told her this: OP - just stop. Delete his number. >>he just finished work and hes sorry but hes decided not to take things any further. Oops, forgot he said that! My bad, got other things on my mind. peach, I think you should respect what he told you and leave him be. If he changes his mind, HE knows where to find you (sorry ) Edited January 21, 2021 by poppyfields 1
basil67 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 5 hours ago, peach302 said: Given that i have no idea why he flaked on me like that. HE DIDN'T FLAKE ON YOU!. He simply decided that he doesn't want you in his life. The 'why' does not matter. 2
Author peach302 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 I will call him regardless. That isnt up for debate. So say what you want. Its interesting how the men on the thread are on board with me calling him up one time ..but one or two women aren't .
Author peach302 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 6 hours ago, amygirl908 said: This isn't a strategy session. You obviously want to call him so just do it and it get it over with. Delaying the event won't make the rejection any less hurtful or the acceptance any better. This is just dragging out your anxiety. No plan needed just pick up the phone, dial his number and hope he answers. I've spent days and weeks mapping out or planning a conversation and it doesn't work. If you want to have a "plan" jot down a 2-3 points that you don't want to forget to make and leave it at that. Yes true youre right..thanks.
Author peach302 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you still messaging him through the dating app or texting? Have you contacted more viable guys through the dating app? No not through the app no more. I've still got his number...so will call him up. I match with different men every single day.
Trail Blazer Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 34 minutes ago, peach302 said: I will call him regardless. That isnt up for debate. So say what you want. Its interesting how the men on the thread are on board with me calling him up one time ..but one or two women aren't . He says he's not interested but you decide you're going to call him anyway? Good grief! *SMH* If the shoe was on the other foot and a guy was calling you when you told him explicitly that you were not interested in taking things further, what would you be thinking? 2
Author peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Author Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: He says he's not interested but you decide you're going to call him anyway? Good grief! *SMH* If the shoe was on the other foot and a guy was calling you when you told him explicitly that you were not interested in taking things further, what would you be thinking? It happens to me all the time actually. Yesterday in fact. Sometimes guys have ended it or its been a mutual thing...only for them to come begging for me back...so as you can see its not always black and white It depends on who it is. If i genuinely like/liked the person i maybe would be open to speaking to them. If you read the whole thread it was him making most of the effort most of the time. If its someone i dont like...from the get go and i say no. Then it would be annoying. Edited January 22, 2021 by peach302
Trail Blazer Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 11 minutes ago, peach302 said: It happens to me all the time actually. Yesterday in fact. Sometimes guys have ended it or its been a mutual thing...only for them to come begging for me back...so as you can see its not always black and white It depends on who it is. If i genuinely like/liked the person i maybe would be open to speaking to them. If you read the whole thread it was him making most of the effort most of the time. If its someone i dont like...from the get go and i say no. Then it would be annoying. Well, yeah. Of course guys do it. It doesn't make it right, though. As for him making most of the effort most of the time, that's irrelevant if his final word is he's not interested in taking it further. But hey, if you're going to refuse to listen to reason, go right ahead and call him. Be that annoying person. Just don't cry when you're rejected, again! 1
Author peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Author Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: Well, yeah. Of course guys do it. It doesn't make it right, though. As for him making most of the effort most of the time, that's irrelevant if his final word is he's not interested in taking it further. But hey, if you're going to refuse to listen to reason, go right ahead and call him. Be that annoying person. Just don't cry when you're rejected, again! Erm actually in fact he did it himself when i once blocked him and unmatched him on the app we met ...he called me incessantly for a whole week. Everyday in fact... Im literally making one call...after a few weeks.....After a eight month absence which he told me off about! But no one cares about the context so Well im not going to be negative about it. But you carry on! Edited January 22, 2021 by peach302
poppyfields Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) I think if a person (in this case peach's guy) doesn't feel their partner (in this case peach) gives a crap, they will dump, or tell them they don't wish to continue the interaction if it's on line like in this case. But it's not a true dump, it's a sort of forced dump. Their partner has hurt them, disappointed them and they can't risk that happening again. peach has stated numerous times how she essentially blew this guy off. She behaved elusively and evasively. Now she returns six months later, is it no wonder he's cautious about resuming their interaction? Cautious to the point he didn't wish to resume and told her that. peach wants to call to show him that she does care, that she's sorry for the way she behaved. I dunno, I think if this is something peach feels she needs to do, then she should do it. If he shoots her down, he shoots her down, at least she tried and won't be wondering "what if" for the rest of her life. Edited January 22, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Trail Blazer Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 15 minutes ago, peach302 said: Erm actually in fact he did it himself when i once blocked him and unmatched him on the app we met ...he called me incessantly for a whole week. Everyday in fact... Im literally making one call...after a few weeks.....After a eight month absence which he told me off about! But no one cares about the context so Well im not going to be negative about it. But you carry on! I'll acknowldge that it's strange behavior on both your parts. I don't think either of you know what you want. However, I know that if the last thing someone says to me is they're not interested, I'll keep my self-respect intact and believe them. You do you, though. 1
Author peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Author Posted January 22, 2021 5 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I think if a person (in this case peach's guy) doesn't feel their partner (in this case peach) gives a crap, they will dump, or tell them they don't wish to continue the interaction if it's on line. But it's not a true dump, it's a sort of forced dump. Their partner has hurt them, disappointed them and they can't risk that happening again. peach has stated numerous times how she essentially blew this guy off. She behaved elusively and evasively. Now she returns six months later, is it no wonder he's cautious about resuming their interaction? Cautious to the point he didn't wish to resume and told her that. peach wants to call to show him that she does care, that she's sorry for the way she behaved. I dunno, I think if this is something she feels she needs to do, then she should do it. If he shoots her down, he shoots her down, at least she tried and won't be wondering "what if" for the rest of her life. Thanks pops.
Author peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Author Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: I'll acknowldge that it's strange behavior on both your parts. I don't think either of you know what you want. However, I know that if the last thing someone says to me is they're not interested, I'll keep my self-respect intact and believe them. You do you, though. Well people always end up being mad at me because i have too much self respect to show i care most of the time or show any kind of interest ever. ive lost friends/potential partners..all sorts of people. Yesterday i lost a friend who said he doesnt want to be hurt by me again and won't let me do that to him. He told me to leave him alone and not bother him again....why? Because he said im a user and don't give him time and am not there when he needs me. So poppy actually isn't far off in what she said at all. Not that the two are the same people but my behaviour or lack of action does impact people to the point they end contact Edited January 22, 2021 by peach302
Trail Blazer Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 2 minutes ago, peach302 said: Well people always end up being mad at me because i have too much self respect to show i care most of the time or show any kind of interest ever. Hence ive lost friends/potential partners..all sorts of people. One can have self-respect whilst showing care and interest in others. They aren't mutually exclusive concepts. 1
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