trident_2020 Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 9 minutes ago, peach302 said: Its unfortunate as obviously im not a catfish and he's missed out on someone who's genuine. We don't know that and possibly you don't either. There's a LOT of folks out there who think their 10 year old pictures accurately reflect their current appearance and don't believe they're fooling anyone. Same goes for profiles. I've met women who say they "love the outdoors" but after we meet and I suggest hiking up a mountain they're like "By loving the outdoors I meant the walk from my car to the shopping mall". 1 1 1
Author peach302 Posted January 10, 2021 Author Posted January 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: We don't know that and possibly you don't either. There's a LOT of folks out there who think their 10 year old pictures accurately reflect their current appearance and don't believe they're fooling anyone. Same goes for profiles. I've met women who say they "love the outdoors" but after we meet and I suggest hiking up a mountain they're like "By loving the outdoors I meant the walk from my car to the shopping mall". My pictures are recent not ten years old lol. Also trust me im not that deluded. I met a guy off the app just before covid started and he said my pictures dont do me justice. In person he was amazed
Minneloa Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 16 minutes ago, peach302 said: Yeah definitely. Because i could have erased or tried to erase some doubts. With texting he even said himself its disingenuous ...its easier to hide stuff. I still got his number...im glad i didnt delete it in a rage which happens sometimes Why are you glad? Are you planning to contact him again? 2
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 2 minutes ago, Minneloa said: Why are you glad? Are you planning to contact him again? I know people may frown upon it so probably best to not discuss that . But it certainly will not be any time soon.
Minneloa Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 4 minutes ago, peach302 said: I know people may frown upon it so probably best to not discuss that . But it certainly will not be any time soon. I am genuinely curious why you would consider ever contacting him again after what just occurred.
Miss Spider Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 (edited) Peach, I know you probably answer this before, but just out of curiosity what is the reason why you only show one picture on dating apps? Is it something about principle? Because you do not seem to have a problem with people being attracted to your appearance. More than one picture would probably erase a lot of the doubt(although you may still get some people who will doubt you anyway) so you don’t miss a connection because of this. It helps alleviate some of that concern when a lot of people are faking it out there. Many people want to more than one picture to get a better idea about a person’s appearance. I’m sure you’ve heard of “my space angles“ ...https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3637225/amp/Constance-Hall-reveals-power-camera-angles-taking-selfies.html so that’s part of why a lot of people like more than 1 Edited January 11, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 1
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 9 minutes ago, Minneloa said: I am genuinely curious why you would consider ever contacting him again after what just occurred. Because i feel like a phonecall may alleviate some things. Texts are the worst at conveying anything. Hearing someones voice may help. When i spoke to him on the phone i found that he was way more friendly and we had a laugh by text he just comes across rude
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 9 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Peach, I know you probably answer this before, but just out of curiosity what is the reason why you only show one picture on dating apps? Is it some thing about principle? Because you do not seem to have a problem with people being attracted to your appearance. More than one picture would probably erase a lot of the doubt(although you may still get some people who will doubt you anyway) so you don’t miss a connection because of this. It helps alleviate some of that concern when a lot of people are faking it out there. Many people want to more than one picture to get a better idea about a person’s appearance. I’m sure you’ve heard of “my space angles“ I am putting a few examples of how more than one pic gives a better impression of a person’s real appearance hoping it helps . https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3637225/amp/Constance-Hall-reveals-power-camera-angles-taking-selfies.html https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/41465-myspace-angles https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a4Z4Gg6_460s.jpg Oh ive now got two pics up. But yes it is partly principle The man in question saw both those pics now and a previous one i sent a long time ago. This guy is obsessed with video calling. And for me video calling is just worse m more awkward. 1
Minneloa Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 3 minutes ago, peach302 said: Because i feel like a phonecall may alleviate some things. Texts are the worst at conveying anything. Hearing someones voice may help. When i spoke to him on the phone i found that he was way more friendly and we had a laugh by text he just comes across rude With all due respect, why are you so hung up on this one guy, who has just clearly informed you that he isn’t interested in communicating with you any longer? To put it bluntly, what would else would need to happen for you to let this go? Think of all the time you are wasting. 1
Miss Spider Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 Ohhh so this guy saw your other two pictures? I don’t remember reading that part. Sorry. Maybe he saw the pictures and decided that he was not interested when he got a better idea. Hard to say. It just doesn’t seem like you guys are a match. I would not reach out to him. If someone blocks, I think it should be respected. 1
cleverusername Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 After two threads and 37 pages you still want to disregard all the advice given to you on here. That’s your prerogative... But people have given up their valuable time to help you, yet you do not want to listen. No one here can help you if you aren’t willing to listen. Nobody can help you if you are not willing to accept help. Pretty soon people are going to start walking away from this thread, because it’s become a circular pattern of you withholding information, asking the same questions, and not listening to the answers given. I’m sure you’re a great and beautiful person who will make someone incredibly happy and feel incredibly lucky. There is no denying love and happiness is in your future. But right now you’re stuck in your own head and I think what you need has become beyond the scope of what can be provided here. I think an actual dating coach and therapist would be the best course of action to solving your dating woes. Reach out to a therapist and dating coach, work with them, then come back and tell us the story of how you fell in love. 3 1 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 There's been sooooo much effg around from you both , all those things were very very easily explained , give him a damn now pic or video and stop being so fishy, explain the lockdowns , what's not easy to understand , all this blocking and disappearing on each other, you crapping on about principles as if he should just know, ahh sorry , can't trust anyone meeting on line. Your both full of so much fun and games and bs it's just been a mess since day one anyway. Believe me none of this crap would even happen with the right person why are you even hanging onto it. Tbh honest whatever you did have between you is such a mess that it'd be a 99% cert that in person it would probably be an even bigger disaster anyway. l mean usually people at least get the online and contact stuff right first and so then go on and meet but mostly it still doesn't work out. You two can't even get the easiest part of all right. Just why exactly are you even still bothering with this rubbish. ? 1 1
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 21 minutes ago, Minneloa said: With all due respect, why are you so hung up on this one guy, who has just clearly informed you that he isn’t interested in communicating with you any longer? To put it bluntly, what would else would need to happen for you to let this go? Think of all the time you are wasting. Probably because he put in tonnes of effort over a long period of time and i didnt appreciate it then. Im just the type of person who only realises when someones gone. The same things happened to me before
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 (edited) 30 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Ohhh so this guy saw your other two pictures? I don’t remember reading that part. Sorry. Maybe he saw the pictures and decided that he was not interested when he got a better idea. Hard to say. It just doesn’t seem like you guys are a match. I would not reach out to him. If someone blocks, I think it should be respected. No i dont think its that be cause i look exactly the same if not better than my previous photo. Also i match with guys every single day since i put those photos up much better looking than him. No offence lol. Also he saw the photos and continued talking for a few days. Asking m3 all those questions. Theres one thing i forgot to mention he has four photos on his profile. The last one looks like hes been catfishing. His face looks like it put more weight on it just isn't flattering. So maybe because hes a catfish himself that's why hes like this with others Its safe to say im not attracted to that pic of his .so instead i focus on the others hoping he looks like those Edited January 11, 2021 by peach302
trident_2020 Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 Live and learn. The horse has left the barn. However should you choose to ignore this latest piece of advice please do post back with the results of your attempted contact.
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 12 minutes ago, cleverusername said: After two threads and 37 pages you still want to disregard all the advice given to you on here. That’s your prerogative... But people have given up their valuable time to help you, yet you do not want to listen. No one here can help you if you aren’t willing to listen. Nobody can help you if you are not willing to accept help. Pretty soon people are going to start walking away from this thread, because it’s become a circular pattern of you withholding information, asking the same questions, and not listening to the answers given. I’m sure you’re a great and beautiful person who will make someone incredibly happy and feel incredibly lucky. There is no denying love and happiness is in your future. But right now you’re stuck in your own head and I think what you need has become beyond the scope of what can be provided here. I think an actual dating coach and therapist would be the best course of action to solving your dating woes. Reach out to a therapist and dating coach, work with them, then come back and tell us the story of how you fell in love. I dont need a therapist. I know its quite popular in America but no thanks. Thanks anyway lol
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 2 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Live and learn. The horse has left the barn. However should you choose to ignore this latest piece of advice please do post back with the results of your attempted contact. I will do. 2
Minneloa Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 5 minutes ago, peach302 said: Probably because he put in tonnes of effort over a long period of time and i didnt appreciate it then. Im just the type of person who only realises when someones gone. The same things happened to me before I imagine that it must sting, but I urge you to accept his decision with grace and dignity. Gently, it’s time to put this situation to rest for good. This will ultimately allow you to find someone new, when you are ready. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 2 minutes ago, peach302 said: No i dont think its that be cause i look exactly the same if not better than my previous photo. Also i match with guys every single day since i put those photos up much better looking than him. No offence lol. Also he saw the photos and continued talking for a few days. Asking m3 all those questions. Theres one thing i forgot to mention he has four photos on his profile. The last one looks like hes been catfishing. His face looks like it put more weight on it just isn't flattering. So maybe because hes a catfish himself that's why hes like this with others I don’t think it really works like that though. A guy you find less attractive may find you less attractive than a guy that you think is more attractive. Everyone has preferences And yes, with that example in his pics you can clearly see how one picture can be very misleading. He may not even know himself how misleading it is. If he had only shown that last picture and made all the rest of his pics blurred we might not even be having the convo. Yes he may be cat fishing. You guys haven’t met and that is why it’s best to not invest too much thought on people you haven’t met 1
chillii Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, peach302 said: Probably because he put in tonnes of effort over a long period of time and i didnt appreciate it then. Im just the type of person who only realises when someones gone. The same things happened to me before Well , in that case , you could just bloody call him, one last try, and put it to bed one way or other. But explain things , don't be a cagey idiot. Edited January 11, 2021 by chillii 1
cleverusername Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 13 minutes ago, peach302 said: I dont need a therapist. I know its quite popular in America but no thanks. Thanks anyway lol Please tell us, what do you want to do? Give us your plan how you’re going to go forward with this guy. No I think, no empty words. No emojis. 100% serious. Tell us exactly what you’re going to do. 1
poppyfields Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 Something I've learned through all my trials and tribulations over the years, things are often not what they appear to be. What it appears to be now is a man not interested when it could possibly be the exact opposite. Just sayin. On line is f'*cked, period. Mixed messages, miscommunications, anxieties wondering if the person is "real," toss in the stress from covid, you can't meet and connect the way you want, it's insane! My advice peach? Let it go for now. Once Covid is over, reach out, stop the dilly dallying around on line, or phone and suggest to MEET. You have zero to lose, literally. Unless you want to walk around for the rest of your life wondering "what if." None of us are mind readers, including us, him, you.. 1
Author peach302 Posted January 11, 2021 Author Posted January 11, 2021 4 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Please tell us, what do you want to do? Give us your plan how you’re going to go forward with this guy. No I think, no empty words. No emojis. 100% serious. Tell us exactly what you’re going to do. When i come up with a proper plan i will definitely tell you lots. I have a few ideas. Hopefully I actually open my mouth and manage to deliver lol
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