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Ok I had a 1st date tonight and I felt it was the most positive date I had in 2020

IntBrowser

By IntBrowser
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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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Thanks ss, not sure how intelligent I was about dating though, I have made some massive mistakes.  

My intuition was/is strong, but even that didn't always help. :eek:

No regrets, it all got me to where I am now. 

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SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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On 11/17/2020 at 8:52 PM, IntBrowser said:

Not sure what I did wrong, last night after agreeing to go out with me on Thursday she asked on the phone what did I have in mind and I told her I will think about and get back to her tomorrow.    So this morning I sent her the website of two restaurants and never got a response back and that was at 9am this morning

 

I really hate this dating s***

It’s really very simple.  Be prepared, think ahead, or get better on planning off the top of your head  

When you ask her if she’d like to go out mention a specific day, have ready times AND at least one place.   With the internet it is very easy to find a place or things to do.   
Good to have two places to propose going to, or two things to do. Preferably in her area, where she is comfortable and keep that in mind.  Use google street view if you’ve never been there.  

Also if they are in her area you can say these places looked good, one for this one for that, but don’t really know the area or these places so open to other ideas.  

There you have a plan, with options and why, and if for some reason you suggested two places she hates, an easy opening for her to make a counter suggestion.

Works for things to do as well places to go.   Works for non-romantic get togethers as well, just basic social planning. 

As to having to do more things outside these days, wool socks, long underwear.  I’d suggest things, especially if at night where other people are around, not close but in eyesight.    Looking at lights is perfect.  

Just don’t leave it there, make it an outing.   Hot chocolate for both of you, take it to the next level bring two little thermoses with built in cups if no place to buy (you know COVID aware and sweet).  A single thermos works too. 

  I myself would also bring a couple little bottles to spike the hot chocolate should we wish, a little assortment :)  maybe khalua, peppermint schnapps, etc.

I’ve actually done that date, to say it went well is an understatement. 

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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We are set to go to dinner tomorrow evening before the shutdown.    It was confirmed tonight over the phone and then during the conversation this question came out of nowhere

 

"Do you mind if I pay tomorrow?  I dont want you to think everytime we go out you have to pay"   lol      I definitely didnt see that coming.            

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Oh snap okay cool. GJ on getting the date set. That could be interpreted in a lot of ways as well. I have said that to guys I was interested in just because I wanted to pull my own and I’ve said it to guys I wasn’t that into because I didn’t want to feel guilty that they weren’t getting anything out of the deal.  I wouldn’t look too much into it
 

Hope you have a good date !!

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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2 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

"Do you mind if I pay tomorrow?  I dont want you to think everytime we go out you have to pay"   lol      I definitely didnt see that coming.            

So? She's trying to be fair and hold her own. Are you thinking her offer to pay puts you in some sort of friend zone?

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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

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16 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

We are set to go to dinner tomorrow evening before the shutdown.    It was confirmed tonight over the phone and then during the conversation this question came out of nowhere

 

"Do you mind if I pay tomorrow?  I dont want you to think everytime we go out you have to pay"   lol      I definitely didnt see that coming.            

Analyse less; enjoy more.

I always offer to pay and prefer it when my date (or SO, if it gets that far) and I take turns.  I don't see her offer as a problem, and I definitely don't think you should chew on this to the point of anxiety on the date!  When the time comes to get the check you split it, or pay for all of it, or suggest she leave the tip, or let her pay, or (if things are going well) suggest that she buy the dessert/drink/whatever at the next stop.  Point is, don't spend a lot of time trying to interpret it now, just go on the date and HAVE FUN. Let the situation unfold organically rather than try to steer it constantly. It's mentally exhausting and surely doesn't put you in the best mindset for the date.

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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On 11/19/2020 at 4:33 PM, introverted1 said:

Analyse less; enjoy more.

I always offer to pay and prefer it when my date (or SO, if it gets that far) and I take turns.  I don't see her offer as a problem, and I definitely don't think you should chew on this to the point of anxiety on the date!  When the time comes to get the check you split it, or pay for all of it, or suggest she leave the tip, or let her pay, or (if things are going well) suggest that she buy the dessert/drink/whatever at the next stop.  Point is, don't spend a lot of time trying to interpret it now, just go on the date and HAVE FUN. Let the situation unfold organically rather than try to steer it constantly. It's mentally exhausting and surely doesn't put you in the best mindset for the date.

It was a question I dont get too often lol   Im finally doing something right after so many dates of doing something wrong

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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On 11/19/2020 at 3:23 AM, Wiseman2 said:

So? She's trying to be fair and hold her own. Are you thinking her offer to pay puts you in some sort of friend zone?

No I didnt think friendzone because she said paying the whole bill.,      Friendzone would have been us SPLITTING the bill lol

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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So how did the date go?

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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23 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

So how did the date go?

went well she was very impressed about the place I picked, the atmosphere and the food.    Now comes the challenge of planning something outside with the city shutdown.    Only thing I can think of now is brunch in the suburbs and if its a mild winter maybe a Holiday light show

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Awesome!!! 🙏 glad it went well. Light show sounds fine. Like people said before, anything can be fun with the right company 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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11 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

went well she was very impressed about the place I picked, the atmosphere and the food.    Now comes the challenge of planning something outside with the city shutdown.    Only thing I can think of now is brunch in the suburbs and if its a mild winter maybe a Holiday light show

Excellent. Keep the momentum going. It's great to alternate planning/paying, etc but it's also fine to ask about favorite things to do, favorite places,etc.

 

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IntBrowser Established Member

IntBrowser

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On 11/22/2020 at 6:59 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Excellent. Keep the momentum going. It's great to alternate planning/paying, etc but it's also fine to ask about favorite things to do, favorite places,etc.

 

Just created a new thread,  its over.   I feel like a fool

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