Ok I had a 1st date tonight and I felt it was the most positive date I had in 2020

[IntBrowser]

We met up for dinner and had a 2 hour date and laughed and discussed family and past relationships and the times we prefer going out.    So she text me to see if I got home and I was in the kitchen and saw that they she called.     I called back and said I was home and then things got weird, she was quiet and then kind of rushed me off the phone so she can call her friend and she said will talk to me later??    That 5 min convo did not match our 2 hour meeting  at all

 

I wasnt necessarily going to ask her out for a 2nd date tonight but I was expecting a different of vibe than what I got.        And no woman had ever asked me anything about my past relationships on any date I was on in 2020 or 2019

[CLS63AMG]

I write off weirdos that flip-flop like that, you may have been the 4th two hour dinner date she had that week and another dude was calling she liked more.  Aloof.  Shrug it off, do not contact her and wait for her to come, when/if she does, test her to see if she's really interested or just playing the serial dating numbers attention whore game.

Edited November 15, 2020 by CLS63AMG

[IntBrowser]

I didnt think someone asked how long your last relationship was and didnt want to see you again.      I hate dating

[CLS63AMG]

12 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I didnt think someone asked how long your last relationship was and didnt want to see you again.      I hate dating

Thats a normal question but the call and run afterwards wasn't normal, signals that she's immature.  Put that book back on the shelf and keep dating new women, you'll find one that really likes you and doesn't leave you wondering.

[IntBrowser]

Why is it important for women to know if you got home safe after a date if they dont plan on seeing you again

[CLS63AMG]

8 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

Why is it important for women to know if you got home safe after a date if they dont plan on seeing you again

Makes her feel like she isn't being an a-hole, all about her own feelings.  She's been ghosted/hurt and claims to not do it herself, to sum it up,

Edited November 15, 2020 by CLS63AMG

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Why is it important for women to know if you got home safe after a date if they dont plan on seeing you again

She seems interested. If you are set up a second date within the next week.

Otherwise don't waste each other's time.

Keep in mind both of you are still talking to and meeting others, so if she interests you, pin a second date down. If not, just move on.

[basil67]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Why is it important for women to know if you got home safe after a date if they dont plan on seeing you again

Unless someone's journey home is high risk, I have no idea why either man or woman would ask the question at all.   I think it gets asked as a form of fake politeness.  

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

Unless someone's journey home is high risk, I have no idea why either man or woman would ask the question at all.  

100% Agree... In all my years and women I've dated I can't really think of anyone who called or texted to see if I got home OK.  What are they going to do if I didn't??  Come pull my car out of ditch??

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

 I think it gets asked as a form of fake politeness.  

I don't know if its fake politeness or if the person is "fishing" for some type of reassurance that the other person had a nice time. 

For me, I don't think I would have called back (like the OP did), maybe text something like "All good" and leave it at that.

[d0nnivain]

You had a good date.  That has more weight than this odd phone call.  

Checking that you got home alright is fake caring.  It's one thing among family if somebody is traveling a long distance.   It's this thing that people have somehow decided they are obligated to do. now.  It's not bad.  It's just . . . dumb.  

It is some indication of caring.  She wasn't really expecting to talk to you.  She was leaving a message.  When you called back she was polite enough to answer, maybe in case you needed a tow truck or something but after a 2 hour great date she didn't have much more to say & didn't want a long post date conversation.  She wanted to call her friend & go  over the date with her so she could get some sense of how it went.   Don't give up on her for this hiccup. 

Do what you were going to do & call later in the week to set up the next date.   Only the woman in Q can tell you if the attraction was there.  We don't know.  @CLS63AMG's speculation that this woman had other dates this week has zero basis in fact.  Talk to the lady again before you make any decisions.  Whatever you do, don't go silent.  That  almost guarantees you won't move forward.  

[SumGuy]

13 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

....  I called back and said I was home and then things got weird, she was quiet and then kind of rushed me off the phone so she can call her friend and she said will talk to me later??    That 5 min convo did not match our 2 hour meeting  at all....

Let go the negativity, even if accurate it will not help you.

I don't know about you but actually have a lot of life and things going on outside dating.   It could well be she promised her friend she would call, her friend may need her support, she may have other things going on at her home and no time to talk.   So many reasonable explanations for her behavior.  

Let's examine how you evaluate things, put them on the scales of good v bad.

2 hours of in-person wonderful conversation vs. 5 min of "weirdness" with possible reasonable explanations.

I would go with the good unless the conversation was not as wonderful as you think, and you were not weird on the call.     Even then I would forget trying to decipher the call when you can get your answer very easily, just ask her out again. 

I'd do it sooner rather than later operating on the assumption she likes me because if she doesn't waiting makes no difference and if she does like me then waiting too long can kill it

[Happy Lemming]

13 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

 So she text me to see if I got home and I was in the kitchen and saw that they she called.  

 

 

10 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said:

 She called and hanged up...

I think she texted him... at least that was the way I read it.  He was in the kitchen when the text came in and called her back.  I still think a quick little text of "All good" or "I'm home" would have sufficed.  I don't really think she wanted to field an actual phone call and talk.

[beentheredonethat77]

I think shes interested and the phone call was just awkward because she wanted to keep it brief and not spoil what was a great night by a drawn out phone conver that lost steam, she may have loved how the date was left and didn't want to screw it up by a potentially boring conversation that lacked the same chemistry.     

Definitely dont give up on her due to this --- i'd ask her out again this week.  Proceed as normal and if her reaction is disinterest, then keep it moving.   I think shes 100% interested though -- you dont 'check to see if someone got home safely' when you dont want to see someone again.   

[smackie9]

Please lets focus on helping the OP. Give your own opinion, that's fine, it's up to the OP go forward with his decision...stop picking fights.

[Miss Spider]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

Unless someone's journey home is high risk, I have no idea why either man or woman would ask the question at all.   I think it gets asked as a form of fake politeness.  

Haha this. I don’t like that question.
 

Why do you assume that she was not telling the truth about needing to take a call with a friend? If you want a second date with her, ask her.

[smackie9]

Whatever happened to just saying TY for the date I had a nice time, lets do it again.

[Miss Spider]

7 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Whatever happened to just saying TY for the date I had a nice time, lets do it again.

Haha right? Guess that’s too risky these days. We have to pad our egos against rejection by only showing interest under the guise we are concerned the person’s livelihood. 

Edited November 15, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[GeorgiaPeach1]

My guess is that she was hoping you'd ask to see her again and set another date. When you didn't, she may have gotten the wrong impression that you're not really interested. 

[IntBrowser]

12 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You had a good date.  That has more weight than this odd phone call.  

Checking that you got home alright is fake caring.  It's one thing among family if somebody is traveling a long distance.   It's this thing that people have somehow decided they are obligated to do. now.  It's not bad.  It's just . . . dumb.  

It is some indication of caring.  She wasn't really expecting to talk to you.  She was leaving a message.  When you called back she was polite enough to answer, maybe in case you needed a tow truck or something but after a 2 hour great date she didn't have much more to say & didn't want a long post date conversation.  She wanted to call her friend & go  over the date with her so she could get some sense of how it went.   Don't give up on her for this hiccup. 

Do what you were going to do & call later in the week to set up the next date.   Only the woman in Q can tell you if the attraction was there.  We don't know.  @CLS63AMG's speculation that this woman had other dates this week has zero basis in fact.  Talk to the lady again before you make any decisions.  Whatever you do, don't go silent.  That  almost guarantees you won't move forward.  

 

She text me this afternoon asking how I slept last night so it looks like you was right about her wanting to talk to her friend.    But now it looks like the Covid shutdown may mess up the momentum because it may not be any indoor dining.   And I am not eating outside in November or going out in cold weather for outdoor activities.    I go through the cold to get to a place where I will be inside.    So from what I am hearing no indoor dining until January.    So in that case Im open to spending time at my place or her place and order dinner,   So I will see how this goes

[IntBrowser]

10 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

 

I think she texted him... at least that was the way I read it.  He was in the kitchen when the text came in and called her back.  I still think a quick little text of "All good" or "I'm home" would have sufficed.  I don't really think she wanted to field an actual phone call and talk.

she called me and when I called back she was leaving a message

[IntBrowser]

8 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Haha this. I don’t like that question.
 

Why do you assume that she was not telling the truth about needing to take a call with a friend? If you want a second date with her, ask her.

 

That was the first time since we met that she was rushing me off the phone and that's why I thought her concern was fake

[IntBrowser]

3 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said:

My guess is that she was hoping you'd ask to see her again and set another date. When you didn't, she may have gotten the wrong impression that you're not really interested. 

During that brief convo, I didnt ask her out but I did ask is she ok with reservations after 9pm in the future a joking way since he goes to bed before 11pm during the week.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

During that brief convo, I didnt ask her out but I did ask is she ok with reservations after 9pm in the future a joking way since he goes to bed before 11pm during the week.

So, how interested are you in dating her again? Have you tried to set up a real date/time/place or "just joking" and banter for now?

[Miss Spider]

Quit sleeping on asking her for a second date. She might have begun to lose interest

[d0nnivain]

10 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

 But now it looks like the Covid shutdown may mess up the momentum because it may not be any indoor dining.   And I am not eating outside in November or going out in cold weather for outdoor activities.    I go through the cold to get to a place where I will be inside.    So from what I am hearing no indoor dining until January.    So in that case Im open to spending time at my place or her place and order dinner,   So I will see how this goes

I think you are going to have to suck it up & find some outdoor activity you are willing to do.  I agree with you about not eating outside.  Check around see if any local places have igloo bubbles.  Some restaurants near me have done this.  It's enclosed space for you & your party & is heated.  You will still have to wear a coat but it's not frigid.  Consider going for a walk.   Around here there are drive in theaters, drive in concerts & drive in light shows.  See if you can find some locally.  

Understand, even with Covid, she may see a request to come to your house as a too early request for sex.  You will have to work with her to find suitable, safe & mutually enjoyable activities.  

The key will be keeping the lines of communication open.