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Wife dresses inappropriately around house guests?

Riverman2000

By Riverman2000
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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Hello all! I want to get a second opinion. My wife and i are both in our 20s. We have a home with a swimming pool and we have many get togethers and friends/neighbors over. When they tend to be mostly male, my wife wears a thong bikini or revealing clothing like tiny shorts or tights shirts with no bra. She does have breast implants and nipple piercings, which makes it more revealing. Sometimes she'll already have guests over when i get home. Should i say anything to her or have an issue with it? Idk? 

Edited by Riverman2000
DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

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I'm guessing this is who you married.  If your wife is the same person then this is a you problem.  Marriage doesn't change people and you shouldn't expect it to.

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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Yes true. But her attire has changed over the years. And she didn't have fake boobs when we got married. We never really had parties or guests over before. She is more social and outgoing now.

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Bonifidelifelover Established Member

Bonifidelifelover

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why don’t u just bring this up to her??? It’s definitely inappropriate. & disrespectful to u! 

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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Well i brought up her tops/blouses once and said i was being controlling. But since, then her attire hasn't gotten more revealing, which makes me think i should bring it up again. Or am i being controlling? 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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You married her the way she is and apparently this appearance and manner of dressing works for you . Can't have it both ways.

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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No she didn't dress like this when we were dating or first married. She was more conservative, Which raises my curiosity 

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Bonifidelifelover Established Member

Bonifidelifelover

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1 hour ago, Riverman2000 said:

Well i brought up her tops/blouses once and said i was being controlling. But since, then her attire hasn't gotten more revealing, which makes me think i should bring it up again. Or am i being controlling? 

Nope not controlling. It’s disrespectful & u hv every right to express ur discomfort about it. 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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27 minutes ago, Riverman2000 said:

, Which raises my curiosity 

Curiosity about what? Showing off her body modifications? At some level you're on board with this.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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By the time you get home from work?   What time do you get home?

Where does she find all these men who she invites over?  Whey are they able to spend afternoons swimming and partying with your wife instead of working?   What do their partners think about them having a men's gathering with your wife?   What happens when you get home?

Trying to make sense of it all .

 

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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I usually get home by 7. I work at an accounting firm. Sometimes work late. She works part time as a bartender. This doesn't happen daily. It's usually our roommates friends that are over.

 

ajequals Established Member

ajequals

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I wouldn't be happy if my wife was walking around in a thong with male guest. I'd certainly say something. another rule would be No male guest unless I'm there. Your asking for trouble if that remains in play

 

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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OK, so it's not so much "we" invite people over, but the roommate does.   Perhaps the roommate has outstayed his welcome.

Regarding being controlling, expressing a preference isn't controlling.   Making unilateral house roles and asking or expecting her to change is controlling.   How far do you want to push it?   

 

 

 

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Julie13 New Member

Julie13

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To be honest you have every right to have this discussion with her. Start it by saying “ I would like to let you know that it’s uncomfortable for me when you wear revealing clothes around our friends, I’m letting you know how I feel and I’m not trying to be controlling , it  just makes me feel uncomfortable “ . Then listen to what she has to say . Let her know that you don’t mind her dressing this way when it’s just the two of you but around other friends it’s uncomfortable for you. Ask her when guests are around can you please wear less revealing clothes because those are our friends we want to respect them. 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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29 minutes ago, Riverman2000 said:

 our roommates 

Why do you live with roommates? You're supposedly an accountant and you can afford breast implants but not your own place?

If this story is true what's the problem? What are you going to do, tell her to wear frumpy sweats? 

Then you would be  starting a bunch of threads about how you never get to see the boobs you wasted your money on.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why do you live with roommates? You're supposedly an accountant and you can afford breast implants but not your own place?

If you must know, i have a lot of debt and financially we need a roommate at the moment. And i don't want to tell him he can't have friends visit.

Edited by Riverman2000
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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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15 minutes ago, ajequals said:

I wouldn't be happy if my wife was walking around in a thong with male guest. I'd certainly say something. another rule would be No male guest unless I'm there. Your asking for trouble if that remains in play

 

Agreed, but i don't want to tell our roommate, who is older than us, that he cant have his friends visit. He does pay rent. ???

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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7 minutes ago, Riverman2000 said:

If you must know, i have a lot of debt and financially we need a roommate at the moment. And i don't want to tell him he can't have friends visit.

Ok, so it's your fault you have to share a place and have people over.

 

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snowboy91 Established Member

snowboy91

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Inappropriate isn't really a word I'd use, rather mildly concerning. She no doubt wants to show off her body, and in some sense it's reasonable (albeit shallow in my opinion) that she will do so.

It depends on what her intention is. If she's doing it simply for the ego boost, as I said it's shallow but not overly harmful. But if there's any sense that she's looking for a bit more than that, then there is a much bigger problem.

Here's a thought: if you decided you would go to the gym and get yourself seriously ripped, would you also want to show it off a bit? Is there a way she's doing so that you wouldn't do?

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deepthinking Established Member

deepthinking

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She is teasing them maybe she just wants to sensationalise but not get in the game. She must think teasing is not such a big deal. But it is a powder-keg.  

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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5 minutes ago, snowboy91 said:

Here's a thought: if you decided you would go to the gym and get yourself seriously ripped, would you also want to show it off a bit? Is there a way she's doing so that you wouldn't do?

True...good point. But I'm my wife wouldn't be ok with me in a speedo with girls over when she wasn't home, but i get what you're saying. And her excuse is "well i didn't invite them over. They're Jason's (roommate) friends" and i wouldn't be surprised if he purposely invites them over, to show his old buddies and hangout 

Edited by Riverman2000
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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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7 minutes ago, deepthinking said:

She is teasing them maybe she just wants to sensationalise but not get in the game. She must think teasing is not such a big deal. But it is a powder-keg.  

I don't think she's cheated, but one never knows i guess. She never seemed like the type 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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It's her house and she can walk around however she wants.  If you don't want male roommates, get rid of them.

You're being silly. She's at home, not prancing around town topless.Get a grip

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Riverman2000 Member

Riverman2000

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11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's her house and she can walk around however she wants.  If you don't want male roommates, get rid of them.

You're being silly. She's at home, not prancing around town topless.Get a grip

Well prouncing around at home topless or in thong bikini infront of men i dont think is ok either. And older men at that. I mean nothing against older men, our roommate and his friends are significantly older than her.

 

Edited by Riverman2000
Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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You need to get rid of the roommates or get your jealousy under control.

Wearing skimpy swimsuits in her own home is normal. It's her right to do so.

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