Chris1989 Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm in a confused situation - again. And I just wanted to hear some opinions on it. I am dating this guy since one month now (I'm 30, he is 25). From the beginning on he was very sweet to me, always pursuing me texting me all the time, even when he had been at work he was sending pictures. He said things to me like that he cannot understand that I'm still single as he thinks I'm very pretty and cute and funny. We always had a great time together and went on adventures, so it was not only sexual. Even when we first had sex, he texted me the morning after. Then he kind of pulled away - he didn't text me as often, when I asked him to catch up he was tired, down or busy. However, few days after he would just text me out of nowhere and even call. Last weekend I invited him to a party and he came. We had a great time and he was super concerned that my friends liked him. So I know he just came because of me as he didn't know anyone else at the party. It is also the little things that show me that he really likes me, like he strokes through my hair when we lay in bed, he always holds me very tight and in general tries to do things for me. He slept over my place and we had great sex and then talked about us and in what kind of stage we are. He said that he likes me a lot and that I'm great - BUT he just broke up with his ex girlfriend 2 months ago (they have been together for 2 years). Apparently, it was a bad break up and he lost a lot of his friends as she was telling everyone that he abused her which is not true - he said it was a toxic relationship. He said when it was not like this he would definitely see me more frequently but at the moment he just kind of wants to be by himself. He also said the last thing he wants is hurting me in any kind of way. He asked me then if we can still hang out and I didn't really know what to say, so I just said yes. I'm a very understandable person so of course I understand his situation - however I also know that when someone is not in the state of mind of something deep and regurarly it is just not the right timing. And I'm more in the state of mind to build up something real, so I feel like maybe shall just go and date ppl who are more open for this. I really like him tho - I think it has been long time since I met someone so honest and genuine and with a good heart. My question is : How would you act with him in the future? I don't want to have a friends with benefits but I also want to stay in contact with him. Shall I offer him a friendship? Thanks for your help in advance Edited November 11, 2020 by Chris1989
Miss Spider Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) Sounds like it was a rebound. Not good. I suggest NOT to be friends, especially now. Edited November 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) You are ok to have sex with...he bread crumb you with sweet nothings to make sure the experience is good for you to keep you around...don't be dumb, kick him to the curb. he's young dumb and full of you know what. Edited November 11, 2020 by smackie9
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2020 Posted November 12, 2020 No, I wouldn't offer friendship. That will hurt too much when you still hang out or sleep together but nothing moves forward between you two - or worse, if she starts doing the same with other women. I would part ways here.
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2020 Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) Sorry to hear that. Pulling away after only a month isn't a good sign. Step back. Dating someone who has a "Fragile! don't touch" neon sign flashing is the road to headaches and heartaches. 30 days and he first pounced into this then pulls back. He's ready for sex but not a relationship. He's in the "I should move on" phase of the breakup, but they are most likely still talking and he wants her back. You could be just a warm body for now or a tool in his efforts to get her back. Edited November 12, 2020 by Wiseman2
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