Lotsgoingon Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 Uh ... look, the vast majority of rapes occur among people that the victim knows--and often has dated or spent friendly time with. These folks don't have a thousand-yard stare and they can't be picked out from photos or else women would avoid them. And Ted Bundy in person was apparently quite reassuring and friendly and charismatic. And btw: I know plenty of people who look rough, have odd faces, unfriendly visages---some who look downright mean--who are wonderful people. 2
elaine567 Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 I agree sometimes these guys do look very odd, but the press tend to chose the pics and mugshots that emphasise their oddness, their creepiness, their scariness. . Once arrested they tend not to look their best anyway. Stressed out, staring eyes, no doubt scared stiff. Perhaps if we had met them at a social event or at a friend's house, or at some other relaxed venue, they may not be considered so odd... 1
Miss Spider Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: Uh ... look, the vast majority of rapes occur among people that the victim knows--and often has dated or spent friendly time with. These folks don't have a thousand-yard stare and they can't be picked out from photos or else women would avoid them. And Ted Bundy in person was apparently quite reassuring and friendly and charismatic. And btw: I know plenty of people who look rough, have odd faces, unfriendly visages---some who look downright mean--who are wonderful people. Yes, which is why I said all not all of the time but I want to addressa myth about Bundy. A lot of women rejected his advances and his request for help and actually found him so creepy that they reported him to authorities when he was asking for help on the crutches. He was not charming to those. unfortunately, he did lure some trusting women to his car, but we do not know if that was because of his charm or because these women were just kind, trusting people ignoring their intuition. I feel like there is a lot of hyperbole when people talk in hindsight about how good-looking or great a serial killer was because it adds to the creepy narrative of “it could be anyone..” Edited November 10, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
poppyfields Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 (edited) Other than one book I read by Anne Rule depicting Bundy as a charismatic charmer, everything else I have read about him shows him to be one sick individual. With a totally creepy look about him. Scary! Anyone see the film "Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil and Vile"? Lord, I couldn't sleep for a week after seeing that! Edited November 10, 2020 by poppyfields
Miss Spider Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 I read that book too. She gasses him up, but I don’t know if she had a legit crush on him or that she believed her close proximity to him coupled with him charming her would add appeal to the book. I have not seen the movie yet but I heard that Zac Efron did a good job with it 1
mortensorchid Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 I was with this guy a few years ago, I was wary about him when we started up. He found me on Facebook and he was moving to Ohio from Colorado, we started chatting. After a few weeks together, I introduced him to friends and we were getting somewhat more serious. Then I found a business card for a DEA officer in his bag. I asked what this was for, he said he was caught with cash. I googled things and found out about his prison record and being a drug lord in Aspen and I said "GET OUT!" And he did. 2
Miss Spider Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) I feel like every girl should date an Aspen drug lord at least once in her life. bet he always had good herb Edited November 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
mark clemson Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 On 11/9/2020 at 11:55 AM, yesilikebread said: I thought he had 'kind eyes'. What I mean by kind eyes is that sometimes you can tell a lot about someone by seeing their eyes. I think "kind eyes" can be faked by some people (not all). I do think some have "hard" eyes and I usually (possibly incorrectly) see that as a tip off into their personality - like anger issues or a lot of frustrations or little compassion or similar. But I'm quite sure there are hardened criminals who you'd never know it just from looking at their eyes. 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 16 hours ago, yesilikebread said: When I found him and his address it also stated that he had a criminal record. I always check my dates prior to meeting them it's like a pre date check box, first address and age and all that to see if it checks out, but then also check if they have been convicted. Since that has never happened before it was strange but I thought he had been convicted of something like theft etc. In my country you can get court documents fairly easily and almost always for free. Nothing he did or said sparked anything in me, I had been chatting with him for a while so I guess that's why it felt so scary to get hold of. I believe people can be rehabilitated, but also I must choose who I allow into my life & I'm not perfect, but I find crime, especially of violent/sexual nature to be very dark and I wouldn't be able to see that person in the eye to be honest. The sentence was ten years ago but I will still report to the dating app, I feel that's the least I can do. My heart goes out to the survivor of his assault. Excellent you do your research. Absolutely agree, no reason to have anyone with a crimal background in your life. It's true that psychopathy is not something easily seen. That's the nature of it Your post is an excellent warning that people should Google and use caution with OLD. 1
Author yesilikebread Posted November 11, 2020 Author Posted November 11, 2020 12 hours ago, mark clemson said: I think "kind eyes" can be faked by some people (not all). I do think some have "hard" eyes and I usually (possibly incorrectly) see that as a tip off into their personality - like anger issues or a lot of frustrations or little compassion or similar. But I'm quite sure there are hardened criminals who you'd never know it just from looking at their eyes. I read an article recently for my studies about empathy being linked to the eye region. I think at least what I mean by kind eyes, is hard to fake, cognitive empathy is then what I would guess, which has been linked to antisocial personality disorder. Anyway, I saved his pictures and all that and looked at them now, I still stand by my statement that he has friendly looking eyes, but he had a picture with a child, so that might have clouded my judgment, I don’t know. Of course judging someone's character solely based on pictures is difficult.
Author yesilikebread Posted November 11, 2020 Author Posted November 11, 2020 Also, he wrote me a message (pre me finding out) that he wants to find a serious relationship and hopefully have sex with the same person for the rest of his life. Let's say he would feel remorse for what he'd done and that he was rehabilitated. I find it interesting that there are people who wouldn't mind dating a convicted sex offender
mark clemson Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 Hmmm. To my thinking this has "major train wreck" written all over it. Possibly a life altering train wreck. Make of that what you will.
poppyfields Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) 42 minutes ago, yesilikebread said: I find it interesting that there are people who wouldn't mind dating a convicted sex offender There are women who write to convicted felons behind bars - murderers, rapists, pedophiles, you name it. They have relationships with these men, often marry them! The Menendez brothers (brutally murdered their parents) each met their girlfriends, now wives, while behind bars. One wife wrote a book, and described her husband as being the kindest most sensitive gentle man she's ever known. Meanwhile, he is serving a life sentence for brutally and savagely murdering his parents. Nothing surprises me anymore. Edited November 11, 2020 by poppyfields
ExpatInItaly Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 4 hours ago, yesilikebread said: Anyway, I saved his pictures and all that and looked at them now, I still stand by my statement that he has friendly looking eyes, but he had a picture with a child, so that might have clouded my judgment, I don’t know. Of course judging someone's character solely based on pictures is difficult. I think we usually see the things we want to see.
Miss Spider Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) , I am not saying that everyone can pick up on it and I’m not even saying that everyone necessarily has it, but there is a phenomenon called sociopathic stare. Also has been shown that people with a psychopathic traits have a different gaze about them . There’s a strong correlation with that and childhood trauma. So they’re probably checked out a little bit and it shows Edited November 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
Pumaza Posted November 13, 2020 Posted November 13, 2020 Many died by meeting app,online dates. Because its also a easy way for creeps to trick and come acros nicer then they are. Good advice to research.But as someone said they can use fake info,fake pics. Best is meet people in your city. Date at places you know. Many creeps online. Once there was a guy who looked criminal,and he did say on his profile he was,and its his past.But the vibe sure ddnt look as past. And you never know if its past for real. Best to not even talk to those kind of people. If he convicted with rape,he shouldnt be seeking no girl,anywhere! Call cops see if he should even be online. Really socialize in your town, then you know you got many real people to dubble check with who the guy you meet is. 1
Author yesilikebread Posted November 13, 2020 Author Posted November 13, 2020 5 hours ago, Pumaza said: Many died by meeting app,online dates. Because its also a easy way for creeps to trick and come acros nicer then they are. Good advice to research.But as someone said they can use fake info,fake pics. Best is meet people in your city. Date at places you know. Many creeps online. Once there was a guy who looked criminal,and he did say on his profile he was,and its his past.But the vibe sure ddnt look as past. And you never know if its past for real. Best to not even talk to those kind of people. If he convicted with rape,he shouldnt be seeking no girl,anywhere! Call cops see if he should even be online. Really socialize in your town, then you know you got many real people to dubble check with who the guy you meet is. Hey! I agree. I think it’s easier for predators because online we can’t see them/their body language etc. I could connect his tinder profile to his linked page & also instagram (same pictures) so I knew it was him. I think if you’ve committed a serious crime like this the right thing to do is disclose it early. He had the nerve to tell me about red flags. He was seeing a woman a while back and he thought it was a red flag that she hadn’t disclosed her having children to him prior to them meeting. Well her ‘secret’, al though important to disclose, a thumb in the ocean compared to his.
SumGuy Posted November 14, 2020 Posted November 14, 2020 10 hours ago, yesilikebread said: .... He had the nerve to tell me about red flags. He was seeing a woman a while back and he thought it was a red flag that she hadn’t disclosed her having children to him prior to them meeting. Well her ‘secret’, al though important to disclose, a thumb in the ocean compared to his. Wow! I wonder you saw his eyes in his photo when his head is so far up his own a**
boymommy Posted November 18, 2020 Posted November 18, 2020 I dated two guys who had criminal records but it was DUI and alcohol related stuff when they were kids like 10-15 years prior. Despite this though I did see some red flag behavior and despite the fact that they were up front with me about their offenses (I still did back ground checks on them because hey I have kids...despite them not meeting them I have to still protect myself) and I felt like the DUI's were probably reflection of who they were as people and not really compatible partners for me. Sometimes you can take the alcohol out of the man but the behavior stays, you know? I personally did back ground checks immediately on people I had a few dates with that it looked like a possiblity of a relationship could potentially be forming or they would be coming to my home, or dropping me off, ect. I didn't ever take anyone's word for anything given I have kids! I need to know who these guys are and where they have been! So important!
mortensorchid Posted November 19, 2020 Posted November 19, 2020 Are you the type of gal who only goes for dudes with prison records / jail sentences? Do you like Alpha Males / Bad Boys? If so, then you have some issues you need to work out. And if anyone is curious as to how / why women go for them, here is why: Women as children are disciplined more. This discipline comes from all kinds of sources (parents, teachers, etc.). It's a double standard which men got the long end of - when boys act up we just say "Boys will be boys". When women act up the hammer of Thor comes down on her. Women who go for Alpha Males / Bad Boys are acting out their wants and needs to be bad. Think of Whitney Houston - she was beautiful, talented, successful and had everything you could ever want / need and she married a loser like Bobby Brown. Bad Boys are more fun than a barrel of monkeys and he's probably a tornado in the sack, but it gets real old real fast when he's getting into fist fights, throwing chairs through windows and calling for bail money. Fun is fun, but we're all adults now and have to act like them.
gamon Posted November 20, 2020 Posted November 20, 2020 On 11/9/2020 at 2:55 PM, yesilikebread said: I thought he had 'kind eyes'. What I mean by kind eyes is that sometimes you can tell a lot about someone by seeing their eyes..he had a sentence of x years in prison for r*pe.. I understand that you can't tell by looking at a person if they're a dangerous person You thought he had kind eyes, sometimes you can tell a lot about a person by seeing their eyes, this kind eyed man has been convicted of rape, you understand that you can't tell by looking at a person if they're dangerous. Now I've read everything.
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