Bantosm Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 I called my girlfriend on Friday to setup a weekend date. I could tell she was in an off mood. She shot down all my date ideas then she asked If I thought we should continue to see eachother. I said yes. She went on how we hardly get to see eachother. The problem is she started a new job two months into the relationship and our schedules are usually conflicted. I headed over to talked with her and her sister and her sister's boyfriend came. They had plans and her sister invited me to with them. I was all for it, like her sister's boyfriend said, see her tonight and tomorrow which made sense. The only problem it was apparent that my girlfriend didn't want me to come along with them. That really annoyed me and I considered breaking with her right on the spot. I seen her on Saturday and she was back to her normal self she said she was sorry and we had a good date. However, nothing was solved. She and I still hardly see eachother and we're drifting apart. I really like her but with our scheduling issues the only solution seems to break up with her and maybe date her again at more opportune time. Anyone successful deal with this type relationship issue if so how?
ExpatInItaly Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 2 hours ago, Bantosm said: I called my girlfriend on Friday to setup a weekend date. I could tell she was in an off mood. She shot down all my date ideas then she asked If I thought we should continue to see eachother. I said yes. She went on how we hardly get to see eachother. The problem is she started a new job two months into the relationship and our schedules are usually conflicted. She is thinking of breaking up with you, or she wouldn't have mentioned this. If your schedules are so conflicting, how is it that you two managed to see each other twice over the weekend anyway? Are they really conflicting, or is one of you just not that excited about the relationship anymore and not wanting to make time? 1
elaine567 Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 3 hours ago, Bantosm said: the only solution seems to break up with her and maybe date her again at more opportune time. In what world is that an option? Once you break up, you cannot just pick up where you left off, later on. people move on, they change, they get burned by the break up. Never think a break up is just temporary, it usually is final. If you want to break up with her then just do it. but do not fool yourself that she will hang around waiting.. she won't. 3 hours ago, Bantosm said: her sister and her sister's boyfriend came. They had plans and her sister invited me to with them. I was all for it SHE wanted to spend time with YOU, and you agreed to spend time with her sister and her bf... Of course she wasn't happy. When people have limited time to get together then one on one time is very important. It doesn't matter whether you were seeing her the next day or not, you did not prioritise her. A group outing with her sister and her bf was a waste of time you could have spent together alone.
Miss Spider Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: She is thinking of breaking up with you, or she wouldn't have mentioned this. Can confirm this. I used ask my boyfriends stuff like this all the time. It was my way of trying to get them to pull the plug instead of me so I wasn’t the bad guy. My guess is that she wants to be out of this relationship and her reluctance to even see you is affirmation of that Edited November 9, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Wiseman2 Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 How long have you been dating? How old is she? Unfortunately the writing is on the wall that it's not going to work. End it calmly and cleanly. Set both yourselves free. It will come as a relief to both of you.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 She complains about not seeing you enough, then suggests a breakup and when you go over there, she already had plans with her sis and sis's BF but didn't want you hanging out with them. That says something don't it?
DarrenB Posted November 9, 2020 Posted November 9, 2020 Don't breakup with the intention to rekindle what you had lost and given up on at a later time, that wouldn't be fair to either of you. If there is reason to withdraw from the relationship entirely, then do so now before things become more problematic. Perhaps deprivation of time investment and scheduling isn't the only issue, you both would know more than anyone else.
Author Bantosm Posted November 10, 2020 Author Posted November 10, 2020 18 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: If your schedules are so conflicting, how is it that you two managed to see each other twice over the weekend anyway? Are they really conflicting, or is one of you just not that excited about the relationship anymore and not wanting to make time? That was a rare occasion when she didn't work on Friday. Usually I see her about once a week. 16 hours ago, elaine567 said: In what world is that an option? Once you break up, you cannot just pick up where you left off, later on. people move on, they change, they get burned by the break up. Never think a break up is just temporary, it usually is final. If you want to break up with her then just do it. but do not fool yourself that she will hang around waiting.. she won't. SHE wanted to spend time with YOU, and you agreed to spend time with her sister and her bf... Of course she wasn't happy. When people have limited time to get together then one on one time is very important. It doesn't matter whether you were seeing her the next day or not, you did not prioritise her. A group outing with her sister and her bf was a waste of time you could have spent together alone. Why would she get burned If she and I agree to breakup because of scheduling issues? The sister and her boyfriend invited me but I never agreed to go. I would've. I didn't prioritize her? That's not true. I called her when I was supposed to and then I went over to talk with her. 16 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Can confirm this. I used ask my boyfriends stuff like this all the time. It was my way of trying to get them to pull the plug instead of me so I wasn’t the bad guy. My guess is that she wants to be out of this relationship and her reluctance to even see you is affirmation of that Yes, I agree with all this. In hindsight I should've broken up her that night.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 It sounds to me like she wants to break up but doesn't have the courage to tell you yet, unfortunately.
Maldives Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 That's not a good sign at all her not wanting you to come along that says alot
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