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I don't want to be here anymore


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Ok so I have been really alone lately and I just needed people to talk to about the stuff that has been happening. I moved across the country about 4 months ago and I haven’t been ok ever since. I’ve gotten to visit home twice but it is so hard and especially because I’ve been on virtual school. Everyday is the same and I have no motivation to do anything. All I want to do is be with my friends because I sit alone everyday and I know a few people here but i feel like they hate me. I used to be with my friends everyday before I moved. Also all of my brothers are in college in different states and me and my parents don’t get along so it just makes it harder. I see all my friends having fun and it hurts so much and I feel like they are fading away from me and they are the only things I have that makes me feel ok. I am also in the worst shape of my life which makes me feel horrible about myself because I’ve always been super active but now I have no motivation. I just want to be happy again 

Edited by Hannah Smith
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And I have really bad anxiety so I always feel like I’m annoying them when I try to talk to them or I always feel like everyone hates me and everytime i go out I feel judged.

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(((Big hugs to you)))

The kids of my friends are all college aged.   Many study locally and some have travelled away for school.   Of those who travelled, some love it, but it didn't work for others - so they transferred back home.  Is transferring back to where your support networks are an option for you?    There's no shame in making changes which better support your mental health.

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There is nothing more important than your mental health.  If you can't see your current situation improving you should start making plans to leave.  Perhaps you can finish your current term/semester and transfer or apply for a job back home? 

Do your research and plan sensibly to put yourself in the best position when you return so you won't have to look back at this as a mistake.  It will just be a learning experience.  In my experience, making alternative plans can help keep you focused on a goal, which helps to keep you motivated and not feel so helpless.

You'll be okay.  Just draw on all your inner resilience and trust your instincts.  If they tell you to go home, then start planning.

Stay strong!

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We have posters of all ages Hannah - you are welcome here. 

Thanks for giving us more information.   Could you tell us a bit more about your current living situation and how things are going?   What are the issues you'd face if you were living with your parents? 

Do you have access to a school counsellor?

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Hi @Hannah Smith We moved around a bit when my son was younger, it's hard as you're trying to make sense of the world.

He went off to one college and moved home two years later because he missed his school friends too much, he's an only child so they were very important to him by then.

They all have these gaming systems with headsets and an email group to this day. 

He's coped with the lockdown/pandemic better though because he got used to solitude as a child.

 

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13 hours ago, Hannah Smith said:

I am also in the worst shape of my life which makes me feel horrible about myself

Well that's easy to fix, start small, start an exercise diary, learn about nutrition. These things will help your depressed feelings to, get the endorphins going.

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