SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 Hello people! I'm trying to get my head around something which happened the other night. I'm not looking for a lecture on unprotected sex because we (my gf and I) are both old enough and ugly enough to know the risks. We are also in an exclusive relationship and have been dating for a couple of months and things are going in the right direction. What I'm looking for is to try and understand what happened and why it happened. We have never used a condom and neither is she on the pill so normally I just pull out. However, the other night we were making out and I told her that about to climax and she just said 'go on then'. So I did. When we finished she just said 'that was naughty' and that 'we got carried away'. That's pretty much all that was mentioned. We just cuddled after and chilled, like we normally do. She's 42 years of age and has two kids already so because of her age she said the chance of conceiving is slim, but why did she let me do this? Was it just that she was quite excited, likes the thought of me 'finishing off' inside her or something else? I've never actually 'finished off' inside my partner before unless we were trying for a kid. I have always been careful, used a condom or they were on the pill. I don't have any kids, so if she was to get pregnant it wouldn't be a bad thing. I've not actually asked her if she wants any more children and it hasn't come up in conversation yet.
basil67 Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 I think it's a perfect time to have a conversation about it. 3
Miss Spider Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 (edited) The best person to ask this question would be her. If I had to guess, and I don’t think I should, I’d say it’s as simple as what’s been already stated - She was in the heat of the moment and weighed the likelihood of conceiving and decided to just take the risk. It doesn’t really have to be anymore meaningful that that. Edited November 7, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 Plan B, Pregnancy test or plan on more kids.
Author SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 27 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: The best person to ask this question would be her. If I had to guess, and I don’t think I should, I’d say it’s as simple as what’s been already stated - She was in the heat of the moment and weighed the likelihood of conceiving and decided to just take the risk. It doesn’t really have to be anymore meaningful that that. Maybe yes but it still took me by surprise. It's not something I do normally and wouldn't even think about doing it without some form of birth control. If it happens again then I'll be asking her about it.....and it probably will.
Miss Spider Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 Yet, you did it. When I’ve done it, it’s always been a very primal part of me that found it hot. In way I was saying emotionally ‘yeah, I’m so into you I’d totally procreate with you’ Logically, however, I didn’t want kids and it would destroy my life, but it didn’t think it was a viable risk( I was always on the pill, as well) i’m not saying that that is why she did it. Yes, it would be best to ask her. 1 1
Ruby Slippers Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 I agree it's primal and hot and she obviously really likes you. When a man's semen enters a woman's body, her body synthesizes his DNA and it's present in her system forever! Pretty cool. It seems neither of you would mind a "woops" if it happened. So if you're OK with that risk, it's your business. 2 1
Miss Spider Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: I agree it's primal and hot and she obviously really likes you. When a man's semen enters a woman's body, her body synthesizes his DNA and it's present in her system forever! Pretty cool. It seems neither of you would mind a "woops" if it happened. So if you're OK with that risk, it's your business. Ew... I knew that to be true of fruit flies, but not humans. Ugh you mean I’m carrying around bits of my ex forever? Gross 2
Author SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 18 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Yet, you did it. When I’ve done it, it’s always been a very primal part of me that found it hot. In way I was saying emotionally ‘yeah, I’m so into you I’d totally procreate with you’ Logically, however, I didn’t want kids and it would destroy my life, but it didn’t think it was a viable risk( I was always on the pill, as well) i’m not saying that that is why she did it. Yes, it would be best to ask her. Yeah I did and I've got no regrets. Normally, I'd be stressing now if it happend...and that's when they were on the pill. 1
Author SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 8 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: I agree it's primal and hot and she obviously really likes you. When a man's semen enters a woman's body, her body synthesizes his DNA and it's present in her system forever! Pretty cool. It seems neither of you would mind a "woops" if it happened. So if you're OK with that risk, it's your business. Thanks.... But forever?
Miss Spider Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 Sounds like you are ready for babynames dot com
Author SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Sounds like you are ready for babynames dot com It takes two to tango, so to speak, but if something happend it would be cool. Maybe she's open to the idea too. 1 1
Author SSM3 Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Is she trying to reel you in ? Reel me in? She's already got me 3
ShyViolet Posted November 8, 2020 Posted November 8, 2020 3 hours ago, SSM3 said: I don't have any kids, so if she was to get pregnant it wouldn't be a bad thing. This is irresponsible considering that you have only been dating the woman a couple of months. A couple of months? You barely know each other, let alone ready to enter into having a kid together. You have no idea if the two of you are compatible enough to have a relationship that will last long-term. At her age, statistically, it's rather unlikely that she will get pregnant so that's a good thing. But you shouldn't be so cavalier about this.
Miss Spider Posted November 8, 2020 Posted November 8, 2020 My mom was only a year younger than her when she got pregnant with me and I was an accident
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Posted November 8, 2020 (edited) She got caught up in the heat of the moment, just like you. You two need to talk about it. If you're "old and ugly" enough to have unprotected sex with a very new partner, you're beyond old enough to have a conversation and not wait until you find yourself in the same situation again. Reading between the lines, you're hoping this mean she wants to make a child with you. But coming back down to earth, you need to remember you two have barely dated. You're in the honeymoon stage, which is lusty and exciting, but you don't know yet if you're even compatible as a long-term couple, let alone as parents. Unless you're into putting the cart before the horse and potentially ruining a good thing by rushing into a life-changing decision, communicate about this. Edited November 8, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 1
Author SSM3 Posted November 8, 2020 Author Posted November 8, 2020 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: She got caught up in the heat of the moment, just like you. You two need to talk about it. If you're "old and ugly" enough to have unprotected sex with a very new partner, you're beyond old enough to have a conversation and not wait until you find yourself in the same situation again. Reading between the lines, you're hoping this mean she wants to make a child with you. But coming back down to earth, you need to remember you two have barely dated. You're in the honeymoon stage, which is lusty and exciting, but you don't know yet if you're even compatible as a long-term couple, let alone as parents. Unless you're into putting the cart before the horse and potentially ruining a good thing by rushing into a life-changing decision, communicate about this. Yeah you are totally right here. I'll push it to the back of mind for the time being and if it happens again I'll bring it up. I do have strong feelings towards this woman but two months in, it's still early days. Thanks.
Author SSM3 Posted November 8, 2020 Author Posted November 8, 2020 9 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: My mom was only a year younger than her when she got pregnant with me and I was an accident I prefer the term 'not planned' over 'an accident' 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Posted November 8, 2020 1 hour ago, SSM3 said: I do have strong feelings towards this woman but two months in, it's still early days. Yes. It's way too early to be taking such significant risks. You don't know each other that well yet 1
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2020 Posted November 8, 2020 You have only known this woman for a couple of months....it’s very possible she had her tubes tied and she’s just messing with ya.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 On 11/7/2020 at 4:42 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Ew... I knew that to be true of fruit flies, but not humans. Ugh you mean I’m carrying around bits of my ex forever? Gross Yep. Some people call it "fluid bonding" for a reason. I wonder if men absorb women's DNA from kissing or oral sex. Inquiring minds want to know... 1 1
HadMeOverABarrel Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 On 11/7/2020 at 5:51 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Sounds like you are ready for babynames dot com
HadMeOverABarrel Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 @SSM3 I just want to say that you sound like a pretty neat guy and I hope things work out super well for you and your lady! 2
Author SSM3 Posted November 11, 2020 Author Posted November 11, 2020 1 hour ago, HadMeOverABarrel said: @SSM3 I just want to say that you sound like a pretty neat guy and I hope things work out super well for you and your lady! That's really nice of you to say (thank you). I think we're going in the right direction and we're planning things for next year. She's pretty neat too 1
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