Saartje Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) Hi everyone, I’ve known this guy for about a year now, because we work at the same, large, firm. First, we were only on each other’s socials and never met each other. We did like regularly like each other’s posts and he is a great-looking guy. Got to be honest. Then, I solicited for a new position in the firm and he was in the comitee that made the decision if I would get the position. This was the first time we met IRL. IRL he’s even better looking and we had a laugh, he seemed nice and easy-going but we needed to keep it professional. I eventually got the position, and I thought I would never see him again since he works in another division of the company. But then I received a DM from him that was like ‘ Hi there, congratulations on your position! Hope you’re enjoying the win :). It would be cool to meet each other in another setting then a job application! Cheers’ What should I think about this message? Is this just a cordial message or does he want us to meet up with the 2 of us? It’s a mystery to me.. ps: I don’t know if he’s single. I did see a picture with a girl on his wall about a year ago and she liked his last post. So it could very well (still) be his GF. Edited November 6, 2020 by Saartje
Wiseman2 Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Saartje said: I received a DM from him that was like ‘ Hi there, congratulations on your position! Hope you’re enjoying the win :). It would be cool to meet each other in another setting then a job application! Cheers’ Keep it professional and noncommittal. "Thanks, sounds good". If /when he asks you out specifically, you can reply then. He may be friendly, he may be sounding the situation out. 2
Watercolors Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Keep it professional and noncommittal. "Thanks, sounds good". If /when he asks you out specifically, you can reply then. He may be friendly, he may be sounding the situation out. This is the exact advice I would give you too, OP. Don’t jump to conclusions so quickly about a romantic relationship with him. You were just promoted so keep it all business for now. Keep your responses to his work emails platonic. Do not add emojis.
poppyfields Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Saartje said: But then I received a DM from him that was like ‘ Hi there, congratulations on your position! Hope you’re enjoying the win :). It would be cool to meet each other in another setting then a job application! Cheers’ What should I think about this message? Let's put it this way. If he were not interested he would not have sent this, no way. My take is it was a "feeler text." Meaning he's feeling the situation out before straight out asking you for a date. It was a flirt! He felt some energy/chemistry with you, just like you did with him. So if you'd like to get together outside the office setting as he suggested,, throw him a bone. Give him the green light. "Thanks, and yah it would be cool. Cheers back at ya!" Something like that, I would. Low key. Let him pursue it. Since you don't directly work together or even see each other, I think dating would be fine. This sounds exciting, I love this sort of tension! Keep us posted! Edited November 6, 2020 by poppyfields 2
stillafool Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) "Keep it professional and noncommittal" I agree. Having a new position; the last thing you need is this distraction. Edited November 6, 2020 by stillafool 1 1
poppyfields Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: He wants to bang Lol, well yeah that's just a given, isn't it? All men, when attracted, want to bang. My own boyfriend now fiance admitted to wanting to bang me (not those words), the moment he laid eyes on me! 2
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Lol, well yeah that's just a given, isn't it? All men, when attracted, want to bang. My own boyfriend now fiance admitted to wanting to bang me (not those words), the moment he laid eyes on me! Haha. And hopefully you felt the same Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
poppyfields Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Haha. And hopefully you felt the same Oh yeah, I most certainly did! Lol. Do you remember me posting about how I was all over him on one our early dates, I simply could not help myself!! HE was the one who wanted to wait, not for lack of desire but because he had a habit in the past of hitting and quitting or the relationship becoming mostly about sex and didn't want that to happen with me. So we waited till our 8th date, hardest thing ever! But definitely worth the wait! Edited November 6, 2020 by poppyfields 1
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 i would have said...I'm really excited with this new position, TY! "When I'm settled in, we should do lunch sometime". 1 1
poppyfields Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 39 minutes ago, smackie9 said: i would have said...I'm really excited with this new position, TY! "When I'm settled in, we should do lunch sometime". Lol, but smackie you are naturally pretty aggressive, you've admitted. It worked for you which is great! But suggesting lunch, which is essentially asking him out on the first date is pretty bold. I guess whatever the OP feels comfortable with, I'd just give him the green light and say what I suggested earlier and then let HIM ask me to lunch. But I like men to be the masculine energy, at least early stages while getting to know. We're all different with different styles and energies. Edited November 6, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Lotsgoingon Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 I think he really likes you and feels the same chemistry and interest that you feel. Say yes and go meet him. But that's me. 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 8 hours ago, poppyfields said: Let's put it this way. If he were not interested he would not have sent this, no way. My take is it was a "feeler text."...Give him the green light. "Thanks, and yah it would be cool. Cheers back at ya!" Something like that, I would. Low key. Let him pursue it. Since you don't directly work together or even see each other, I think dating would be fine. ^^^^^ This. 1
Author Saartje Posted November 7, 2020 Author Posted November 7, 2020 (edited) Well, I replied. Said thanx for the congrats and that I’m really happy with my position. That I also think it would be fun to meet him in another setting and I asked if he would be at a gathering next week (which I don’t think, but it seemed like a good reply i.m.e.) Edited November 7, 2020 by Saartje 1
smackie9 Posted November 7, 2020 Posted November 7, 2020 I don't think suggesting lunch equates a date when it's just a friendly invite among coworkers. Doing lunches can be just rubbing elbows with a higher up to advance in the company and building a professional rapport. I have had many lunches with male coworkers, and sales people, doesn't mean romantic intentions. Going for cocktails after work would be more on the "date" end of things.
Author Saartje Posted November 11, 2020 Author Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) Ok everyone, really need to give you an update. I responded to his text with ‘yeah, I would also like to meet you again! Are you at the informal meeting with the board this Tuesday?’ then he responded with ‘yes, I’ll be there,see you then!’. He couldn’t make it though and he send me a message afterward ‘had a double in my schedule, so couldn’t make it but I’m sure we’ll bump into each other in the company!’. he then asked me another question, which I replied to, and we chatted for a while.Then I asked him if he and the other members of the committee had feedback for me on which I could work. I was actually really curious about that, bc their feedback was only positive. so he gave me one line which was positive and that they where really enthusiastic about me, and that if I had further questions, I could text him on his phonenumber (his private number). So I’m a bit confused now. He didn’t specifically suggested meeting each other on an informal way. But he did gIve me his number. What should I do, and how do I interpret his behavior? Edited November 11, 2020 by Saartje
elaine567 Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 My guess, he has a gf or a SO. He ducked out of meeting you, but he has given you his private number to keep communication with you on the down low. OR he was purely being friendly with his message, and he didn't expect you to take the proposed meet up literally. Both may explain why he ducked out. I think you should forget about him, unless you want to see him behind his gfs back...
smackie9 Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 slow down and sit on it for a bit. Let the opportunities show up, take them don't make them. The trick is to be in a man's space but don't be so eager to make it happen.
Miss Spider Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Saartje said: Ok everyone, really need to give you an update. I responded to his text with ‘yeah, I would also like to meet you again! Are you at the informal meeting with the board this Tuesday?’ then he responded with ‘yes, I’ll be there,see you then!’. He couldn’t make it though and he send me a message afterward ‘had a double in my schedule, so couldn’t make it but I’m sure we’ll bump into each other in the company!’. he then asked me another question, which I replied to, and we chatted for a while.Then I asked him if he and the other members of the committee had feedback for me on which I could work. I was actually really curious about that, bc their feedback was only positive. so he gave me one line which was positive and that they where really enthusiastic about me, and that if I had further questions, I could text him on his phonenumber (his private number). So I’m a bit confused now. He didn’t specifically suggested meeting each other on an informal way. But he did gIve me his number. What should I do, and how do I interpret his behavior? He sounds like his has a gf or woman in his life now. Doesn’t seem all that interested anymore. Possibility of being friendly even though that’s a lot rarer . Sorry Edited November 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2020 Posted November 12, 2020 The question is... what are Your intentions? Do you have a crush on him? Are you hoping every possible little "sign" means he's making a pass? It's best to be professional. It doesn't matter what his intentions are. What matters is how you conduct yourself at a new job.
Emerald_11 Posted November 13, 2020 Posted November 13, 2020 At this point I think you should not call or text his personal phone number because it seems like he is just testing to see if you will chase him. He knows how to DM you if he wants to. Just keep doing an awesome job at work and focus on that not him. Also make sure you feel really good about your appearance when you go to work. Do your hair cute, nice makeup, nails & outfits. Not for him but for yourself. Then if you happen to be seen by him at work you will be looking & feeling your absolute best. Also everyone you interact with at work will notice how put together you always are. Go to company functions/ lunches anything going on and eventually you and him will cross paths again. Time will tell.
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