By 27 I'll be 27 and never had a boyfriend am I supposed to care?

[oppositeage26]

12 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I've always had high sex drive, and I learned early on that you have to teach/train your man to please you. Very few of them are naturals, and many of them are not naturally inclined to be generous lovers. But most of them get that unless you're happy, sex won't be happening for long. So be very open and clear about what you need and want. Most men will make the effort as long as you give them clear guidance, and in the end they'll enjoy it. Men like to make women happy, and the more pleasure you're getting in bed, the more he feels like a stud.

 

out of the four guys that I've been with three of the four guys were the type that were pleasers really they go down often and for long periods of time so I mean that you were pleasers and if you think of that the ones who did it longer actually did get sex but that was not the reason they did it was more so having to do with their size you know I think the first guy could have gone down for 2 hours and he was going nowhere but yeah for me like that isn't my thing that doesn't even really turn me on that much it's kind of weird as me out honestly but I do like the effort because if someone isn't willing to please you then why should you please them?laughing is not about that though it's just like I said about size. I personally have a very high sex drive when I'm ovulating when I'm not ovulating I just don't care. And then you can notice certain things other about me as well. Not to say my sexuality changes per se. but I am very different right after my cycle as opposed to right before my cycle. I think my mind just trying to get myself used to the idea that I'm about to get my cycle. think of it this way some people who are like trans get dysmorphia when they get periods. I personally don't I think because my mind kind of like gets me used to what's about to happen. But then when I dropped off of my cycle I go right back down to whatever I was at and then I'm not really that interested in men for 1. Like I find men attractive at that point I'd never go to some other kind of sexual attraction but I just have a very reserved sexual attraction. wow when I get to my ovulation. I actually do want to have sex while right after my cycle I do not usually. So I do have a high sex drive but not every day it's only certain days and then it's kind of like I want to have sex like every day and then when my cycle goes off and then I want don't really want to have sex obviously during that time and then shortly after that for the next week I don't want to have sex. So it'sI do have a very high sex drive only certain times. But I don't have an emotional drive at all really ever.

[oppositeage26]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

There are always male escorts for sex and no emotion.

True but most of them are gay and often gay. I don't mind bisexualitybut I prefer a man who prefers women most of the time at least

[oppositeage26]

9 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Haha. I’ve heard that a lot too. He’s just not doing it right. That may be, but I can’t say the men I’ve been with haven’t at least put in effort. I don’t want to put it on them because it’s nothing (within my knowledge) that they could improve. It is just an uncomfortable feeling for me and when I’m single I could go forever without desiring it. In the context of relationships, sex is mostly a performance/duty. 

 

but for OP. So you are aromantic. If it’s not a problem for you, it shouldn’t be for anyone else. 

Yeah maybe I am a romantic but I'm not a gangster relationship I'm just like not into a relationship with anyone currently I don't have any desire. Think of it this way though like I said I live around a lot of crackheads in Vegas so a part of that to me goes into the equation to me it's like you can expect me to want to be with these men obviously I'm not on crack. So I mean that how can I really be expected to want to actually live a life with these men like having sex with someone quickly and you know end of story situation is different than like I'm going to make your personal hell my hell. Now that doesn't make any sense I mean that you'd have to be crazy to do that. so that's why I always like maybe it's just because I'm around a lot of that guy. That I don't have any emotional desire but there's a bit of a part of that where it's like well I don't crave that I know like I crave sex you know there is no craving their but the idea of it sounds cool so I'm not against it so then that's why I never really know him like I do have that commonality where I have no interest really in romantic relationships but I think it's the right guy came along I wouldn't be against it either. It sounds cool romantic relationships don't sound bad to me it just has to be with the right person. That's whatever the reason I do share a lot of similar experiences to someone who is a romantic whatever the reason for that is.

[stillafool]

12 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said:

True but most of them are gay and often gay. I don't mind bisexualitybut I prefer a man who prefers women most of the time at least

That's absurd.  There are gay and straight men escorts.  A gay man couldn't get it up for a woman several times a day.  He would work for a gay escort service.

[Miss Spider]

13 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said:

Yeah maybe I am a romantic but I'm not a gangster relationship I'm just like not into a relationship with anyone currently I don't have any desire. Think of it this way though like I said I live around a lot of crackheads in Vegas so a part of that to me goes into the equation to me it's like you can expect me to want to be with these men obviously I'm not on crack. So I mean that how can I really be expected to want to actually live a life with these men like having sex with someone quickly and you know end of story situation is different than like I'm going to make your personal hell my hell. Now that doesn't make any sense I mean that you'd have to be crazy to do that. so that's why I always like maybe it's just because I'm around a lot of that guy. That I don't have any emotional desire but there's a bit of a part of that where it's like well I don't crave that I know like I crave sex you know there is no craving their but the idea of it sounds cool so I'm not against it so then that's why I never really know him like I do have that commonality where I have no interest really in romantic relationships but I think it's the right guy came along I wouldn't be against it either. It sounds cool romantic relationships don't sound bad to me it just has to be with the right person. That's whatever the reason I do share a lot of similar experiences to someone who is a romantic whatever the reason for that is.

Yeah. It’s a question of if you not have a desire for a romantic relationship because you’ve only been exposed to bad examples of that or do you not have a desire for one just because? It’s hard to unravel. Since  you have even a suspicion it’s the former, it’s worth examining. So when you are dating, say something along the lines of “not looking for a relationship, but I’m open to it” so you leave that door open if you find the right guy. I definitely think that if you think it sounds cool in theory and you’ve never done it before, it’s worth a try. & it doesn’t have to be something you’re activity looking for. You may discover a wonderful new feeling you never felt before.

Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[oppositeage26]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

That's absurd.  There are gay and straight men escorts.  A gay man couldn't get it up for a woman several times a day.  He would work for a gay escort service.

oh really I just assume that male escorts were bisexual kind of like pornstars are they bisexual too and that applies to men and women I think they're both bisexuals. I'm not saying that they're gay but I mean they're too gay to me to my preference. What I'm saying by that I'm saying I prefer a man who prefers women and to me I always assumed an escort or a man who works in some kind of sex industry is bisexual and probably deals with more men than women.

[stillafool]

Just now, oppositeage26 said:

oh really I just assume that male escorts were bisexual kind of like pornstars are they bisexual too and that applies to men and women I think they're both bisexuals. I'm not saying that they're gay but I mean they're too gay to me to my preference. What I'm saying by that I'm saying I prefer a man who prefers women and to me I always assumed an escort or a man who works in some kind of sex industry is bisexual and probably deals with more men than women.

There are male and female sex workers who are bi.  No porn is a different industry.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

3 hours ago, oppositeage26 said:

 My thing is is that I've been raised by a single mother so all I saw was single life 

 

THIS "fits" completely!

 

Add to it a modern society where because women can be more financially independent of male breadwinners, there is even less nudging you toward a relationship.

 

 

Don't knock yourself... and certainly don't alter anything unless you suddenly crave a companion...   AND endeavor to merely get out and MEET more people, toward that end.

 

Don't alter your path merely because you think others want/need you to fit-in.

 

 

[oppositeage26]

3 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Yeah. It’s a question of if you not have a desire for a romantic relationship because you’ve only been exposed to bad examples of that or do you not have a desire for one just because? It’s hard to unravel. Since  you have even a suspicion it’s the former, it’s worth examining. So when you are dating, say something along the lines of “not looking for a relationship, but I’m open to it” so you leave that door open if you find the right guy. I definitely think that if you think it sounds cool in theory and you’ve never done it before, it’s worth a try. You may discover a wonderful new feeling you never felt before. 

Yeah that's why I don't feel I am a romantic at all because I do think the idea sounds cool.   I'm not against it but I do like to hold out for someone who is actually decent you know. And of the five guys that I've been in one way or another involved with dating sex or anything in between. I have never found any of them ideal for me.  For example, the first guy I've always talked about a lot here people think like I was young and I had just gotten into the dating scene. And I just was like I want to have sex with anyone kind of thing I didn't end up having sex with this guy though. He had a lot of issues you know I was not really interested in me just wanted sex and was very negative and wouldn't compliment me. So I mean in those cases you can say obviously that wouldn't be someone you would want to be in a relationship with.  I need want to have sex with them plus he was so weak.

Then the second one well I probably should have called the police by the time I was in the same room as him. I mean you couldn't have sex with him and not know he was mentally ill. Like cuts all up and down his buttocks and legs like Quite clearly something isn't right here. And there was way more problems than that after that I think before that. In all that I mean I never wanted to be in a relationship or anything like that I just wanted to learn how to lose my hymen.

The third guy I guess you could say but I had any involvement with. Would say that all he ever did was just get high on marijuana. Lived in a small room he rented from some people which was actually in a nice area but I mean yeah he wasn't doing too well. I mean he always was getting high. 

And then the next guy we really didn't even talk or text her do anything really it was just kind of like I got his number in Snapchat back in February and then I would regularly talk to him. That's basically what happened there and then because of the guy before I was like yeah I want to try and hook up with this guy. This guy I did not know because of his profile he put his age is 19. But he didn't put his age as what it was which was 18. this one was such a little one a little child in the mine like live the life of a little child. So annoying and I mean literally I didn't know until I met up with him. And he starts talking about his school life and all this stuff and I'm like oh my God. Obviously I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone in high school even if there are 18.

Then the next guy was totally crazy like scary crazy honestly obsessed calling texting all the stuff over and over and over and over and over again before I even met the guy and then he freaked the heck out because I wouldn't respond because I had to work and do other things in my life. Then after that hookup was terrible and suck you know because he was the type who just didn't listen I was just dumb like you wasn't going to get any sucks because he didn't listen and he was way too big. And kept harassing me afterwards for days and days and days and days. and I mean after all that I learned for hookups I really don't do crazy guys anymore or guys who seem like they're upset savar harass or get angry or guys who are rude and just have an interest in sex and just want to be negative. But I do not have anything against a guy who just smokes marijuana all day to hook up with me cuz it's just hooking up I just don't like to have them drive the car or anything. but other than that like I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that.

 I would be in a relationship with a guy if it actually was a good thing for me. I see a lot of women will try to be with men who are no good for them and I don't get the point of it what purpose does the man serve if he's just bad? And that's the main reason I've never been in a relationship. It's not that I don't like relationships I'm very fond of them just not with people who are really messed up.

Edited November 6, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
formatting, punctuation

[shattered91]

10 hours ago, oppositeage26 said:

Yeah that's why I don't feel I am a romantic at all because I do think the idea sounds cool.   I'm not against it but I do like to hold out for someone who is actually decent you know. And of the five guys that I've been in one way or another involved with dating sex or anything in between. I have never found any of them ideal for me.  For example, the first guy I've always talked about a lot here people think like I was young and I had just gotten into the dating scene. And I just was like I want to have sex with anyone kind of thing I didn't end up having sex with this guy though. He had a lot of issues you know I was not really interested in me just wanted sex and was very negative and wouldn't compliment me. So I mean in those cases you can say obviously that wouldn't be someone you would want to be in a relationship with.  I need want to have sex with them plus he was so weak.

Then the second one well I probably should have called the police by the time I was in the same room as him. I mean you couldn't have sex with him and not know he was mentally ill. Like cuts all up and down his buttocks and legs like Quite clearly something isn't right here. And there was way more problems than that after that I think before that. In all that I mean I never wanted to be in a relationship or anything like that I just wanted to learn how to lose my hymen.

The third guy I guess you could say but I had any involvement with. Would say that all he ever did was just get high on marijuana. Lived in a small room he rented from some people which was actually in a nice area but I mean yeah he wasn't doing too well. I mean he always was getting high. 

And then the next guy we really didn't even talk or text her do anything really it was just kind of like I got his number in Snapchat back in February and then I would regularly talk to him. That's basically what happened there and then because of the guy before I was like yeah I want to try and hook up with this guy. This guy I did not know because of his profile he put his age is 19. But he didn't put his age as what it was which was 18. this one was such a little one a little child in the mine like live the life of a little child. So annoying and I mean literally I didn't know until I met up with him. And he starts talking about his school life and all this stuff and I'm like oh my God. Obviously I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone in high school even if there are 18.

Then the next guy was totally crazy like scary crazy honestly obsessed calling texting all the stuff over and over and over and over and over again before I even met the guy and then he freaked the heck out because I wouldn't respond because I had to work and do other things in my life. Then after that hookup was terrible and suck you know because he was the type who just didn't listen I was just dumb like you wasn't going to get any sucks because he didn't listen and he was way too big. And kept harassing me afterwards for days and days and days and days. and I mean after all that I learned for hookups I really don't do crazy guys anymore or guys who seem like they're upset savar harass or get angry or guys who are rude and just have an interest in sex and just want to be negative. But I do not have anything against a guy who just smokes marijuana all day to hook up with me cuz it's just hooking up I just don't like to have them drive the car or anything. but other than that like I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone like that.

 I would be in a relationship with a guy if it actually was a good thing for me. I see a lot of women will try to be with men who are no good for them and I don't get the point of it what purpose does the man serve if he's just bad? And that's the main reason I've never been in a relationship. It's not that I don't like relationships I'm very fond of them just not with people who are really messed up.

Being in a relationship is not as good as you think. Nearly all of them end one way or another and the longer they go on the uglier it gets. Just do what makes you happy, but staying out of relationships might not be a bad idea especially with the way you feel. 

 

It is also very difficult to follow much of what you have been writing in this post and the ones before it. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Do whatever makes you happy. Plenty of women are fine being single. 

I promise others are not thinking about your love life or judging you as much as you might think they are.