oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 Like for me most of my needs are sexual I do have some emotional desire but not much I more so I've always wanted to have sex with a man and I finally accomplish that last year late last year. However I don't feel bad that I've never been in a relationship and I've only gone out on two dates? Maybe three. But nothing more than that by different people in each case is well. Most of the time it was only a mode of sex and other times it was not the first time it was just for any kind of physical connection to a man even if it wasn't sucks it was still like my first kiss fondling things of that nature I was in my mid-20s back then. but like with boyfriends I have heard people act like it's odd that a girl doesn't want a boyfriend in my heart we do want a boyfriend I just more so like touch butt I mean a boyfriend a relationship? I want that with the right person if he comes along if he doesn't then that's fine too. Is it really expected to get in relationships with Ken who don't fit? And at my age?
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 1 minute ago, smackie9 said: sooooooo what is your question? Is this typical basically? Can someone relate to this basically? Cuz I've heard some people act like if you don't have a boyfriend you just wear an emotionally scarred by a relationship. But for me I never been in a relationship so I never been scarred. My thing is is that I've been raised by a single mother so all I saw was single life and single life was seen as normal to me but like the option to be with a man is always an open option for me like I'm not angry or opposed to it like people I was watching like on YouTube different women would say like it's probably cuz she's angry at relationships are doesn't like men or something or something. My thing is is that I hardly interact with men to be honest I interact with them at work maybe an even then I don't really interact with them I just would see them maybe next to me or whatever. But that's about it.
stillafool Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 4 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: Is this typical basically? Many, many women don't want boyfriends and are not interested. No it is not abnormal. You're fine. 2
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 So why would you care what others think? If you are happy and ok with your life, then there is nothing to be concerned about.
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 Typical / normal etc are overrated. If you are happy that is all that matters. Other people don't get a vote about your life. I was over 40 when I married. All sorts of people had all sorts of negative snide comments about my single status but I didn't care. Live your life the way you like 1
Calmandfocused Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) I agree that there is nothing unusual/ wrong about wanting to stay single. Many are perfectly content this way. However something about the way this post is written indicates (to me anyway) that there is something more to this than meets the eye. For example, not many women are comfortable giving their virginity away to a meaningless one night stand. I’m sensing that this may be a symptom of something else... I’m going to come straight out with it: Op do you have any history of difficulties in building relationships with others generally? Any mental health issues past or present? I may be completely wrong but it may be helpful for us to advise you if you provided some wider context (If applicable) Edited November 6, 2020 by Calmandfocused 1
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: I agree that there is nothing unusual/ wrong about wanting to stay single. Many are perfectly content this way. However something about the way this post is written indicates (to me anyway) that there is something more to this than meets the eye. For example, not many women are comfortable giving their virginity away to a meaningless one night stand. I’m sensing that this may be a symptom of something else... I’m going to come straight out with it: Op do you have any history of difficulties in building relationships with others generally? Any mental health issues past or present? I may be completely wrong but it may be helpful for us to advise you if you provided some wider context (If applicable) this kind of makes me question your mental health to be honest because I don't understand mentally what is the difference to you about a woman's virginity as opposed to a man's virginity? I don't understand that and I never have understood that. Once you can explain that to me maybe we can be on the same page. But you have an irrational concern in my opinion Edited November 6, 2020 by oppositeage26
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, oppositeage26 said: Is this typical basically? Can someone relate to this basically? Cuz I've heard some people act like if you don't have a boyfriend you just wear an emotionally scarred by a relationship. But for me I never been in a relationship so I never been scarred. My thing is is that I've been raised by a single mother so all I saw was single life and single life was seen as normal to me but like the option to be with a man is always an open option for me like I'm not angry or opposed to it like people I was watching like on YouTube different women would say like it's probably cuz she's angry at relationships are doesn't like men or something or something. My thing is is that I hardly interact with men to be honest I interact with them at work maybe an even then I don't really interact with them I just would see them maybe next to me or whatever. But that's about it. I was in similar shoes about 5 years ago. Not dating and never had sex. Similarly, I became motivated to try it. Heterosexual relationships seem almost compulsory in our culture. I’ve since discovered I’m probably very close to being asexual/aromantic, don’t want children, and prefer being outside of the confines of a any type of relationship, so it’s not suited for me. It wasn’t that a bad experience with dating or sex that lead me to that conclusion. It doesn’t have to be. Indifference is often enough. We all are different people with different desires. I think a lot of people wrestle with what they feel ought to do because it’s what’s commonplace or expected, and what they really want to do. Heterosexual relationships are romanticized in our culture in a way that is very beautiful and compelling in concept ( two people who compliment each other perfectly and value each other completely forever).That seems like something we should go after. But I don’t think there’s any real “right answer” or path that’s best. Only a path that’s best for you. Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
stillafool Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 Virginity and fertility are not a comparison.
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: Virginity and fertility are not a comparison. I edited to say a man's virginity sorry 1
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 9 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I was in similar shoes about 5 years ago. Not dating and never had sex. Similarly, I became motivated to try it. Heterosexual relationships seem almost compulsory in our culture. I’ve since discovered I’m probably very close to being asexual/aromantic, don’t want children, and prefer being outside of the confines of a any type of relationship, so it’s not suited for me. It wasn’t that a bad experience with dating or sex that lead me to that conclusion. It doesn’t have to be. Indifference is often enough. We all are different people with different desires. I think a lot of people wrestle with what they feel ought to do because it’s what’s commonplace or expected, and what they really want to do. Heterosexual relationships are romanticized in our culture in a way that is very beautiful and compelling in concept ( two people who compliment each other perfectly and value each other completely forever).That seems like something we should go after. But I don’t think there’s any real “right answer” or path that’s best. Only a path that’s best for you. I don't consider the idea but I might be a romantic because my emotional side and my emotionality basically is very minimum that it's like I don't really want that from people I usually lust after them I don't know if that's the thing or is it just a matter of you know yen versus Yang and heterosexual relationships and I do not really bond that way I don't have the yin nor do I desire the Yang energy I just desire the body 1
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: I don't consider the idea but I might be a romantic because my emotional side and my emotionality basically is very minimum that it's like I don't really want that from people I usually lust after them I don't know if that's the thing or is it just a matter of you know yen versus Yang and heterosexual relationships and I do not really bond that way I don't have the yin nor do I desire the Yang energy I just desire the body I see. Is it different people you lust for or usually a particular person? I would say that fwb/casual relationships are suitable for people who have a strong desire for sex with someone, but not for the emotional bonding and other stuff. Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 13 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I was in similar shoes about 5 years ago. Not dating and never had sex. Similarly, I became motivated to try it. Heterosexual relationships seem almost compulsory in our culture. I’ve since discovered I’m probably very close to being asexual/aromantic, don’t want children, and prefer being outside of the confines of a any type of relationship, so it’s not suited for me. It wasn’t that a bad experience with dating or sex that lead me to that conclusion. It doesn’t have to be. Indifference is often enough. We all are different people with different desires. I think a lot of people wrestle with what they feel ought to do because it’s what’s commonplace or expected, and what they really want to do. Heterosexual relationships are romanticized in our culture in a way that is very beautiful and compelling in concept ( two people who compliment each other perfectly and value each other completely forever).That seems like something we should go after. But I don’t think there’s any real “right answer” or path that’s best. Only a path that’s best for you. but I do agree about the pressure when I was younger I had a lot of pressure to have sex and I felt like similarly about myself to how many 24 year old male virgins described it tbh. Like frustration.... not having sex like I can't get laid and stuff you know and I have a weird idea of I guess but I like to have it like where the more guys I get the cooler it is for me I guess it's because I always quite at that to physical pleasure but it seems like for me after having a few guys it's been like most of them haven't really been that much pleasure except one so I kind of like then like it's not about quantity more like the quality.but I never really felt that way with relationship because I never had an urge to be in a relationship. I had an urge to have sex like most people do though 1
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I see. Is it different people you lust for or usually a particular person? I would say that fwb/casual relationships are suitable for people who have a strong desire for sex with someone, but not for the emotional bonding and other stuff. yeah that's all what I deal to me as friends with benefits but I don't actually want boyfriend. Ideal weight for me it would be that I just have sex with a guy on the week it could be two different guys on the weekend and even funner if they were both good at sex and they're both attractive and everything that would be perfect cuz I like to have more than one guy your kind of thingbut it wouldn't really work in a relationship having two boyfriends and I wouldn't want that emotional attachment I don't even really want to talk to them.I just want to interact with them when I need to have that sex maybe like a couple times a month. I do get bored of having sex with the same man also more than once that I need variety. Like a blond and a brunette kind of thing what the other one lacks the other one for feels kind of thing 1
Calmandfocused Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 29 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: this kind of makes me question your mental health to be honest because I don't understand mentally what is the difference to you about a woman's virginity as opposed to a man's virginity? I don't understand that and I never have understood that. Once you can explain that to me maybe we can be on the same page. But you have an irrational concern in my opinion I wasn’t making any reference or comparison to men’s virginity. I was making reference to yours! And how your attitude to giving away your virginity is highly unusual comparatively to the majority of females in my opinion. To elaborate you seem to objectify men. The way you write about them indicates that you see them solely as an object to satisfy your desire. There is something not quite right about that. I am woman but your attitude to men is quite offensive in my opinion. So I therefore stand by my earlier comments which you don’t have to agree with. It’s how I see it. Edited November 6, 2020 by Calmandfocused
Ruby Slippers Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 People tend to worry more about what other people think when they're younger. As you go along, you figure out that you can never make everybody happy, so you may as well do your thing and enjoy life on your terms. More people are opting to be single, and it's more socially acceptable than ever before. I'm open to finding lasting love and ideally it will happen - but if not, I'm doing well on my own, and I'd rather be single than get into a relationship that feels too compromised. As long as you're not hurting anybody including yourself, your relationship choices are your business. 1
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: but I do agree about the pressure when I was younger I had a lot of pressure to have sex and I felt like similarly about myself to how many 24 year old male virgins described it tbh. Like frustration.... not having sex like I can't get laid and stuff you know and I have a weird idea of I guess but I like to have it like where the more guys I get the cooler it is for me I guess it's because I always quite at that to physical pleasure but it seems like for me after having a few guys it's been like most of them haven't really been that much pleasure except one so I kind of like then like it's not about quantity more like the quality.but I never really felt that way with relationship because I never had an urge to be in a relationship. I had an urge to have sex like most people do though Studies have shown alarming amount of women do not actually find sex that pleasurable(?) I would fall into that category too. It’s not that it’s bad, it just was not enough for me to actually want to pursue it. And in my relationships, as is the case in many heterosexual relationships), men the are very sexually motivated. Just for clarification, you have said that with the exception of once, you don’t find sex pleasurable. For you it is more tied to the ego drive/validation of the conquest and sleeping with the guy than the actual act of sex itself(?)This is perfectly valid. Just trying to understand
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: I wasn’t making any reference or comparison to men’s virginity. I was making reference to yours! And how your attitude to giving away your virginity is highly unusual comparatively to the majority of females in my opinion. To elaborate you seem to objectify men. The way you write about them indicates that you see them solely as an object to satisfy your desire. There is something not quite right about that. I am woman but your attitude to men is quite offensive in my opinion. So I therefore stand by my earlier comments which you don’t have to agree with. It’s how I see it. yes sweetie just cuz you are a female doesn't mean that I have to think like you. The way you see women is very offencive to me because you generalize us all and make us all one mind and one monolith we are not. We have different views we have different outlooks on different things thank you
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: yeah that's all what I deal to me as friends with benefits but I don't actually want boyfriend. Ideal weight for me it would be that I just have sex with a guy on the week it could be two different guys on the weekend and even funner if they were both good at sex and they're both attractive and everything that would be perfect cuz I like to have more than one guy your kind of thingbut it wouldn't really work in a relationship having two boyfriends and I wouldn't want that emotional attachment I don't even really want to talk to them.I just want to interact with them when I need to have that sex maybe like a couple times a month. I do get bored of having sex with the same man also more than once that I need variety. Like a blond and a brunette kind of thing what the other one lacks the other one for feels kind of thing Oh okay. I understand now. Well I’m sure there would be plenty of men ok with that arrangement. get it, girl. Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: People tend to worry more about what other people think when they're younger. As you go along, you figure out that you can never make everybody happy, so you may as well do your thing and enjoy life on your terms. More people are opting to be single, and it's more socially acceptable than ever before. I'm open to finding lasting love and ideally it will happen - but if not, I'm doing well on my own, and I'd rather be single than get into a relationship that feels too compromised. As long as you're not hurting anybody including yourself, your relationship choices are your business. Yeah that's exactly how I am. I must say for me I'm not negative about relationships and never have been. But the norm for me is single. If I found someone special so it's got to be a special time for a relationship. Otherwise why am I making someone special when they're just someone you meet in the norm? Like I said that roots back to how I grew up where single life was normal. No boyfriend, no husband, no man and I know that in part that is because my mother did not like men. She had her own issues with men because her mother was like threatened with guns and knives by her husband so I mean and on top of that couldn't feed her kids because he kept making the babies. I know that there are situations where people can be single because they don't like men. But I don't think all men are bad I kind of think because I live in Vegas I see people who are bad in all genders and when I say all genders that's beyond two genders as well. So I mean I wouldn't just say men are bad men are this men are that. It's more so a collective whole you know. But not all people are bad obviously. It's just a lot of bad apples and there's some good apples. And when you find a good apple will is good to find them you know but right now where I'm at I wouldn't say I've ever met a good apple like ever probably not even a bad apple I can just sit in the same room with to be honest. I mean a lot of people in my area are crackheads and I've talked about this several times. Edited November 6, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator formatting, punctuation
Ruby Slippers Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 14 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Studies have shown alarming amount of women do not actually find sex that pleasurable(?) I would fall into that category too. It’s not that it’s bad, it just was not enough for me to actually want to pursue it. And in my relationships, as is the case in many heterosexual relationships), men the are very sexually motivated. I've always had high sex drive, and I learned early on that you have to teach/train your man to please you. Very few of them are naturals, and many of them are not naturally inclined to be generous lovers. But most of them get that unless you're happy, sex won't be happening for long. So be very open and clear about what you need and want. Most men will make the effort as long as you give them clear guidance, and in the end they'll enjoy it. Men like to make women happy, and the more pleasure you're getting in bed, the more he feels like a stud. 1
Author oppositeage26 Posted November 6, 2020 Author Posted November 6, 2020 22 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Studies have shown alarming amount of women do not actually find sex that pleasurable(?) I would fall into that category too. It’s not that it’s bad, it just was not enough for me to actually want to pursue it. And in my relationships, as is the case in many heterosexual relationships), men the are very sexually motivated. Just for clarification, you have said that with the exception of once, you don’t find sex pleasurable. For you it is more tied to the ego drive/validation of the conquest and sleeping with the guy than the actual act of sex itself(?)This is perfectly valid. Just trying to understand now to be honest I don't really care what the guy thinks what my motivation is sexual pleasure that's what my motivation is that's what has kind of move me into the mood of just not giving a hat hoot. Because it's like this I want sex I want good sex but I always turn off with getting guys who are very big in the genital area and then I don't want to have sex with them because it's not pleasurable. There's nothing good about having sex with someone who basically has a log for genitalia in my opinion fur men who are legitly large and endowed down there it never works they can't actually have sex with me. They literally can't get inside. and like I said older men have a problem when I say older men I mean men my age like 26 27. The problem is they don't listen because they've been with too many women. So they don't listen because I think all women are built the same down there. Even if they're not large if they're larger than average it's bad for me because I don't enjoy it they can have sex with me but I'm not going to enjoy it. So the thing is for me is I enjoy sex I love sex because I had sex with a guy who was actually smaller he wasn't small per say he was average but with a smaller on average than others and so for me I definitely enjoyed that I came like three times so I enjoy sex I enjoy sex a lot like a lot. But I just do not enjoy it with endowed men or men that are larger than average they have to be very medium size too small. But a lot of guys who hook up are bigger rather than small. So that is my problem. And it makes me have less interest in men altogether being completely honest 1
Miss Spider Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: I've always had high sex drive, and I learned early on that you have to teach/train your man to please you. Very few of them are naturals, and many of them are not naturally inclined to be generous lovers. But most of them get that unless you're happy, sex won't be happening for long. So be very open and clear about what you need and want. Most men will make the effort as long as you give them clear guidance, and in the end they'll enjoy it. Men like to make women happy, and the more pleasure you're getting in bed, the more he feels like a stud. Haha. I’ve heard that a lot too. He’s just not doing it right. That may be, but I can’t say the men I’ve been with haven’t at least put in effort. I don’t want to put it on them because it’s nothing (within my knowledge) that they could improve. It is just an uncomfortable feeling for me and when I’m single I could go forever without desiring it. In the context of relationships, sex is mostly a performance/duty. but for OP. So you are aromantic. If it’s not a problem for you, it shouldn’t be for anyone else. Edited November 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
stillafool Posted November 6, 2020 Posted November 6, 2020 51 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said: I don't have the yin nor do I desire the Yang energy I just desire the body There are always male escorts for sex and no emotion.
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