SumGuy Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 On 11/5/2020 at 2:32 PM, FMW said: My impression from reading your opening post was that he just wasn't ready to commit to having children with YOU at only four months in. I think that's reasonable. Bring up the topic of kids with him again and see if you can get a better idea of where his head is at - if it's just right now in a new relationship or if it's more than that. In my opinion, four months is too soon to be ready to commit to having children with a specific person (and so him freaking out thinking you might have gotten pregnant isn't that unusual), but not too soon to have a discussion about the topic of having children in general. I agree with this. If he really doesn't want kids then a vasectomy will really help in that regard. 1
ThereSheGoes Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 (edited) My thoughts: This guy doesn't want to have kids, and only gave you the 'maybe' to get you to calm down and drop the topic. And I honestly don't think he sees you as something long term. For yourself, leave this man alone. I know. It sucks. You have a great time together, you enjoy his company, you enjoy the sex he provides. BUT. This isn't a match, and if this continues, you're just going to end up hurt. Trust me. The quicker you snip the cord, the easier it will be to recover so that you can meet your true partner. I wish you the best, Diana. I know it's rough. Edited November 10, 2020 by ThereSheGoes 2 1
kendahke Posted November 10, 2020 Posted November 10, 2020 On 11/7/2020 at 7:47 AM, elaine567 said: Exactly, and you will take your kids when they arrive, with you.. there's a couple on youtube called Wolter's World and they travel all around the globe with their two sons. It can be done. 1
mortensorchid Posted November 11, 2020 Posted November 11, 2020 That was important for you to discuss. After all you may have an accident and then what? I had an accident a few years ago and the man I was with didn't want to discuss it and I had to demand that he do so - that was serious what we just did there and we were going to resolve it NOW. And we did, I ended up popping a Plan B pill a few days later and took care of it. But I digress... He showed you with his action that he was not ready for children. After all, you two are still in infatuation and thinking the other is perfect and everything is wonderful, etc. If he said "I don't want children" and you agreed, then that's one thing. But you are not in a good place with this. They call these things choices but they are all rough.
Author diana9 Posted November 12, 2020 Author Posted November 12, 2020 Well I am still thinking things through. He says that he loves children that he is just not ready now, because it's early but the damage is done. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2020 Posted November 12, 2020 He's hoping to keep you around until he buggers off to travel with his buddies and whoop it up. If you're looking for a family-minded man who is interested in commitment, this guy ain't it.
Miss Spider Posted November 12, 2020 Posted November 12, 2020 I don’t entirely get why this guy has to be lying about not wanting to have kids with her right now
basil67 Posted November 13, 2020 Posted November 13, 2020 @Shortskirtslonglashes of course he's not lying about not wanting kids now. The issue is that his life plan indicates that he doesn't want kids within the fertility window of the OP. At 37, he's got the life plans of a 25yo. Of course, there's nothing wrong him following his dreams, but it doesn't make him a good choice for a 32yo woman who wants kids someday. 1
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