anna_21 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Hi guys, I am in need of some help with a situation that i got myself into. I know that it has been said that you should never date anyone that you work with but I did. Me and this guy mike just started dating like 4 days ago and we both work at lowes.The thing is tho he is just so wierd! I mean I like him and everything but he has got me all confussed. Sometimes it seems like he doesnt even want to be with me. He has never actually said that he thought i was pretty. We are both 20 and yet he is acting like a little kid. He calls me little stupid names and just hits and punches me around. Yeah of course we do have sweet moments and we will kiss and stuff like that, but yesterday when i was leaving work i stopped by to say bye to him and he was like "yeah ur going to meet ur boy friend" I was just like umm no my boy friend is here, at least i think my bf is here. Is he? and he just replied well i dont know. So i just had this huge look of confussion my face.(the whole time he had this smile on his face. Dont know if he just likes to see me confussed) so i was just like ok whatever dude. I asked him if he was going to call me and he just said it depends on how late he gets off. Well i left all confussed and i know he knew it and yet he still didnt call me last night. You think that he would have if he even liked me at all. Oh he has also brought up the fact that he doesnt want to be whiped cuz in his past relationship he dated some chick for like 6 months and he said she had him whiped and she cheated on him so he wasnt going to let it happen again. I understand where he is coming from but at least telling me i look nice or something is not being whiped, its called be a nice bf. Hell my ex treats me better then that. What should I do? need some help!
d'Arthez Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 You already know the answer. Whatever the case is with this guy, he undoubtedly has a few issues, because of his past relationship. We are both 20 and yet he is acting like a little kid. He calls me little stupid names and just hits and punches me around A relationship between bf/gf is not a relationship wherein one of them can behave like a kid. He thinks he can. You should not put up with that. but yesterday when i was leaving work i stopped by to say bye to him and he was like "yeah ur going to meet ur boy friend" Either he will be extremely controlling of you in the future. As he does not want to get hurt, and the only way to make certain that you won't cheat, is to put you in a "cage", isolating you from friends, family everyone, there is a lot in store for you if you would continue this. The thing is, if you continue the relationship, he will keep making outrageous accusations (that you have another lover, for instance), thus making you feel that you have wronged him. That is absolutely not true, but in the course of months, you would start believing that more and more - until you would get out of the relationship. Oh he has also brought up the fact that he doesnt want to be whiped cuz in his past relationship he dated some chick for like 6 months and he said she had him whiped and she cheated on him so he wasnt going to let it happen again. He has not resolved his past issues, and he is going to take it out on you, to make certain that the past won't repeat itself. In such a way, as to make also certain that the relationship is far from healthy for you. Forget about this guy.
helena abadi Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 well put, Mr Stats Guy. i would be afraid the violence would escalate. if they are working together, and she feels intimidated in the workplace, then revealing the situation to a superior might be wise. he sounds wacko, to be honest. i would run a mile immediately in the opposite direction.
Author anna_21 Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 thanks guys. That did help out. Here is an up date... I actully went to work today to get my schedule and see him to call it off. (I did it before he walked in so we talked in his car) Well i just told him that i think i wanted to call it off and that we dont know each other well enough yet. He just had this shocked look on his face and was like why? so he did do good by making me explain to him the situation and he really did listen. he just said that he didnt want to be hurt and I explained to him that i to was in a past relationship for 2 1/2yrs with a guy who cheated and hurt me, but that you got to look at each new relationship as something new, each person is different and so is every relationship. We havent got to talk like this so i think it helped. We arent dating right now, but i told him that i had already showed him that i wanted to be with him and that if he really wants me back then he has to show me, but i also explained that he needs to make sure within himself that he is ready and wants to be with me before he acts on it. his reply was that he knows now what he has to do. So we ended it with a hug and smile and he said that he would be back when he is ready
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