26 year old male, no relationship experience

[anonymous69420]

Like the title says, I am a 26 year old heterosexual male who has had no romantic or sexual experience whatsoever. I consider myself a late bloomer, and throughout high school never developed any real romantic attraction towards any of my peers. I found casual sex instinctively repulsive for some reason, and resolved instead to wait until I was mature to develop a more meaningful relationship. It was not until halfway through my undergraduate studies that I actually met someone I was attracted to, though she was of course already seeing someone. I figured I'd engage anyways, and over the next several years we saw each other frequently both one-on-one and through a shared student group. I became quite infatuated with her, and was of course extremely disappointed and heartbroken when the eventual realization came that there would be nothing more than friendship between us. In the more than two years since I last saw her I've completely lost interest in the opposite sex and have essentially been living life on autopilot without any real desires or emotion.

I feel like I'm too old now to delve into this aspect of life and that I have missed out on a fundamental part of the human experience. I'm actually fairly attractive and have had women make passes at me, but I simply have no sincere interest any more. In terms of professional attainment and other aspects of my social life I'm fairly functional (or at least as functional as can be given the current state of the world) but I feel completely depleted and have lost any real drive or passion. I don't believe in suicide but don't see the point in living the rest of my life like a robot.

I'm looking both for practical advice regarding dating and romance given my predicament but also general reactions to or impressions of my situation. I can provide more details about any of the above if anyone is curious.

[ShyViolet]

49 minutes ago, anonymous69420 said:

I feel like I'm too old now to delve into this aspect of life and that I have missed out on a fundamental part of the human experience.

You feel like you're too old?  At 26?  Oh my god.  I remember when I was 26 and I used to say that I was "getting old".  Let me tell you something.  You are still a kid.  You still have your whole life ahead of you.  You are nowhere near too old.

Do you genuinely have no desire to date or have sexual experiences, or are you just feeling depressed and hopeless about it?  If you genuinely have no interest in dating or sex then there's nothing wrong with that, there is such a thing as asexual people.  But just know that there is a whole world out there and it is not too late.

[Miss Spider]

Hi. Thanks for sharing your story. You say you have no interest in dating...or anything. The apathy you describe seems symptomatic of depression. Please do not make the mistake of believing having a romantic or sexual experience will somehow fix that. It could actually make things worse. So please work on overall mindset and get to a healthy place. You may start to notice that your interest in romance returns. 
 

That being said, if you so want to experience dating, do it. There’s no lamenting the wasted time. There’s no going back: You’re either going to start now or never and it’s not too late to start

Edited November 1, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Wiseman2]

Get to a doctor for an evaluation and referral to a therapist.

Clearly you're not happy living like an asexual unemotional robot.

You do seem Interested in sex/relationships.

[basil67]

I agree you need a therapist.  But not just a garden variety one, look for a psychologist.  Work through your feelings so that you can figure out what it is you truly want for yourself.