ohso Posted October 31, 2020 Posted October 31, 2020 I had friends, couple, for many years, but we kind of were drifting apart and were not keeping in touch much. I was making an effort, but it was one sided. They always came out with some excuses not to hang out. I didn't know how to save our friendship so I met them with my bf. They liked him. After a couple of times we all hanged out together, they just kept in touch with my bf, and not me. Then they started hanging out together and I was left out. I guess they connected and we grown apart. I really feel funny about it because they were my friends first and for so long. My bf invites me to hang out with them sometimes, but I feel very awkward. I am not mad at anybody, but you know. I kind of feel betrayed and I'm not into that friendship anymore. I don't know what should I do? Is it ok to feel this way?
d0nnivain Posted October 31, 2020 Posted October 31, 2020 Of course it's OK to feel this way. Do spend time with the group going forward. If you show up you may find new pathways to reconnect.
Ellener Posted October 31, 2020 Posted October 31, 2020 51 minutes ago, ohso said: Is it ok to feel this way? It's okay to feel however you feel. Just don't extrapolate too much from that. It's hard to be friends sometimes, people want fun and light-hearted and big self-confidence, especially in America, and there are times we're just not feeling those things. Connect again in small ways, and continue to seek out people with your own ideas, interests and mindset. Tell yourself, I'm okay, because you are. 1
ShyViolet Posted November 1, 2020 Posted November 1, 2020 You say that even before they met your bf, you were drifting apart from them and not keeping in touch much. So they were not really your friends anymore anyway, it has nothing to do with your bf. Just make some new friends.
carhill Posted November 1, 2020 Posted November 1, 2020 On 10/31/2020 at 6:12 AM, ohso said: I guess they connected and we grown apart. I really feel funny about it because they were my friends first and for so long. My bf invites me to hang out with them sometimes, but I feel very awkward. I am not mad at anybody, but you know. I kind of feel betrayed and I'm not into that friendship anymore. I don't know what should I do? Is it ok to feel this way? That's how life works out sometimes; how do things go when you hang out with him and his friends from before you were a couple? It's OK for relationships to change, I see it sometimes at the weddings of friend's children and grandchildren where divorced partners and their social groups get together to celebrate. People move on, some completely, some stay connected at some level, some keep the same social groups and blend the new different relationship dynamic into the milieu. People adapt. You'll do what's healthy for you.
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