Savannah1990 Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 Hi everyone, I would like to share my story and ask you for some advice! About a year ago I dated a guy for a few months and this became a FWB-contact. This lasted for a few months until I broke this off because I didnt feel good about it. He was also putting in the minimum amount of effort. So then, a few months later he contacted me again, but at that time I was seriously dating someone and told him I wasn’t interested because of that. It never got serious with that person and after I while I asked the FWB-guy something I needed to know for my work and in which he is an expert. We started talking again and he asked me if I would like to see him again. So, we met and it was nice and we had fun and a good talk. No physical intimacy, maily because of Covid, but also because I don’t want FWB anymore. I told him this, that I would not have sex with him, because of these to reasons. He was really interested in me, in what I was up to etc. AFter our meeting he send me a text that he had a great time and that I looked stunning. Few days later he invited me for a new meet-up, which was nice again. But, after this, I actually didnt hear from him for about a week. He then contacted me again and after a few messages asked if I would like to see him again. I responded that I would like to see him again. But then, another 8 days(!) of silence from his side. He then texted me again, excusing for his late response, he had been busy (yeah right) and asked when we could see each other again. This is so confusing and im trying to decipher this guy. Is he only in it for the sex? Was he really busy? Is he interested in more than sex but just has a really low-effort attitude? Or is he just not into me? I think he’s a nice guy with whom I can relate especially on a mental level. I don’t really know if there is a lot of physical attraction from my side anymore, but he’s definitely not ugly. I would be open to explore the options and to see if anything can grow. Not just a sexual contact, but mayb something like a friendship or more. What to do with this guy?
Wiseman2 Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 Unfortunately you want a friend who helps you with your work and he just wants FWB/hookups. If you want to date someone/have a BF, you need to delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. That way you can move forward and find something less nebulous and confusing as this mess. 3
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 He didn't get the memo that you were back for more. For this guy you're an ex fwb that he may be able to get back into bed eventually. You're not a priority, you're a contact on his phone. 6
Miss Spider Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 (edited) Don’t see what’s confusing ??? He’s only interested in fwb. He’s still putting in the bare minimum to get in. Don’t know why you are still seeing him if he doesn’t want the same thing. Hanging out more will only make your feelings develop and make it more likely you guys will hookup, but don’t think you’ll change his mind. Edited October 28, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 2
Fletch Lives Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 People usually don't change their romantic side........unless you want the same thing you have gotten from this guy in the past, move on and talk to a new guy. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 He's not that interested, no. My guess is that he is hoping you might cave and sleep with him again but he's not looking to make this into something more. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 He likes you well enough to spend time with you when he's got nothing else going on. He's DTF you'd be up for it but he's not going to put in the effort to be BF material. Stop barking up that tree. 1
Blind-Sided Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 8 Days to respond? 8 hr's.... sure... but not 8 days. Nope... not interested.
smackie9 Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 He reached out to see if you were up for FWB again...you say no. He is being like he always is.....putting in little effort, doing the slow fade. Nothing but jerkin ya around. Block/delete, no more contact.
Ami1uwant Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 Just to b fair... some guys can chsnge. unsure why this was FWB initially. Was it situationally driven st the time but now things change. Could he have thought of it as feb, but now it’s over, he might have realized he missed something. can he bring playing you..absolutely.
kendahke Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 He's not interested enough in you to put forth any more effort than he already has in the past. You made it clear you weren't here for what he wants--and he doesn't want to be your pal. He wants a sexual partner on his terms. If you can't offer that, then just stop dealing with him. His compliments weren't a contract for anything and you need to rein in your expectations.
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 9 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: Hi everyone, I would like to share my story and ask you for some advice! About a year ago I dated a guy for a few months and this became a FWB-contact. This lasted for a few months until I broke this off because I didnt feel good about it. He was also putting in the minimum amount of effort. So then, a few months later he contacted me again, but at that time I was seriously dating someone and told him I wasn’t interested because of that. It never got serious with that person and after I while I asked the FWB-guy something I needed to know for my work and in which he is an expert. We started talking again and he asked me if I would like to see him again. So, we met and it was nice and we had fun and a good talk. No physical intimacy, maily because of Covid, but also because I don’t want FWB anymore. I told him this, that I would not have sex with him, because of these to reasons. He was really interested in me, in what I was up to etc. AFter our meeting he send me a text that he had a great time and that I looked stunning. Few days later he invited me for a new meet-up, which was nice again. But, after this, I actually didnt hear from him for about a week. He then contacted me again and after a few messages asked if I would like to see him again. I responded that I would like to see him again. But then, another 8 days(!) of silence from his side. He then texted me again, excusing for his late response, he had been busy (yeah right) and asked when we could see each other again. This is so confusing and im trying to decipher this guy. Is he only in it for the sex? Was he really busy? Is he interested in more than sex but just has a really low-effort attitude? Or is he just not into me? I think he’s a nice guy with whom I can relate especially on a mental level. I don’t really know if there is a lot of physical attraction from my side anymore, but he’s definitely not ugly. I would be open to explore the options and to see if anything can grow. Not just a sexual contact, but mayb something like a friendship or more. What to do with this guy? Lots of people are going to disagree with me on this, LOL. 1. I have rarely seen a FWB turn into a true love story or even a long-term serious relationship. (Long-term FWB, yes. Or at least one side thought so, with the other side "not sure yet," "afraid to get hurt again" or whatever song and dance.) 2. IMO - this is just my opinion, remember - when a guy really wants you...you know it. He tries. Really tries. He doesn't let things go for another guy to slip on in there. 2
Trail Blazer Posted October 28, 2020 Posted October 28, 2020 The only reason I'd ever contact an ex-FWB is if I wanted her to be my f#*k buddy again. If I ever wanted her to be more, I would have seen to it that she became more to me the first time 'round. This guy is just putting the feelers out. Don't waste your time since you've stated you don't want another FWB arrwngement with him. I'm 99 percent sure that's all he wants.
Luna66star Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 The fact you initiated "talking again" means to him you may be in FWB again, nothing more. He's putting out feelers to see if you'll meet up for some fun. I hope you didn't hang out with this guy. Him disappearing regularly on you says it all. Men don't treat their GFs like this. He's hoping to sleep with you again ....period. Please close the chapter of this book for good.
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