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What went wrong here? or am I being paranoid?


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Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, kenziejane said:

I hate this sentiment. 

So it's my fault for hooking up with him? He hooked up with me too....why am I the one who has to feel shame about it? 

 Sex is a natural thing for two consenting adults to enage in.  If this guy used you for sex, that's on him.  You did nothing wrong.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted (edited)

This guy is rigid and controlling. You can bet this would not be the only quirky issue with him. He is peevishly suggesting you upset his sleep schedule. It doesn’t really matter what was discussed about it beforehand, do you really want to have to deal with this quirk again? He doesn’t sound remotely caring.  This is not a guy who will come and pick you up if your car breaks down somewhere late. He will not look after you. You deserve so much better!

In fact, I would go so far as to say that this is a big red flag and you could end up in abusive relationship if you are not careful.

Edited by spiderowl
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Posted
19 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

It isn't about shame!! It's about waiting *because you don't know the person well enough yet*. There's no shame in having sex. Having sex is a natural thing.

Exactly.

OP, if this was just something to do to kill time and you went on your way with no expectations of him, then no problem.  But you're trying to make an 8 course meal out of the crumbs he threw at your feet after having had sex with you. 

Fever will make people say anything to get their release; the thing is to not attach your feelings to sex this early on unless they've been consistent with you about their feelings for you growing.

I don't for one minute believe he's wrapped up in his sleep like he said he is: if it was the case, you'd have been out of there by 7pm and he would have been waxing antsy while watching that movie, not cuddling.  For whatever reason, the fever broke after sex and he was done with you. He was clumsy in his handling of this, but he didn't let you leave his house thinking that this had traction, as someone smoother would have done.

Quote

I said 'you could've kicked me out if you wanted to go to bed', and he said 'yeah but that would've been mean'

But nothing. 

The correct answer to that, if he was about you and into you, would have been "no, that's not what I wanted/meant"... he was trying to manage your opinion of his mean behavior because he knew it was rude--but he did it anyway.  Coupled with the fact that he's vaporized tells me that he's done.

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