xxjustinukxx Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 Hello everyone, I hope you're all well. Last year, almost a year ago, I met a wonderful woman online and we clicked immediately. According to the app she wasn't far away and so we hot together for a date. It was amazing. Right off the bat she told me that she was from Canada and was only here for a short time visiting. After she went home to Canada we continued to message, call, video call and things intensified over the weeks and months. I got to know her family little gradually and we started planning our next meeting. She even invited me to her sons wedding. Then covid hit. So seeing each other was impossible but we decidedto wait knowing we'd meet eventually. We'dvideo chat every night, send gifts to each other and do everything we could to keep things close between us. Then she got a promotion at work. And as the weeks and months rolled on, and we still couldn't meet, eventually she admitted she didn't see a future for us and I got the "let's just be friends" speech. So over the last few months I've tried to move on, date other people etc, but I'll see a photo of her or something again and it breaks my heart. I've tried so hard to squash my romantic feelings for her, but I just can't. But at the same time I love having her in my life and we support each other a lot with things we've been through lately. But it's hurting that I can't seem to let my love for her go. Even to the point where I see her flirting with other guys etc in mutual group chats and even in my dreams now I see her with someone else and it hurts. So I'm torn. I genuinely value her friendship but I can't go on feeling heartbroken like this. Should I cut her loose completely? Any advice would be massively appreciated!
Mystery4u Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 No you should not stay friends with her. Yes you should cut her loose completely. That includes social media and mutual group chats. Delete her, leave the groups. Then you can properly move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 You are mixing apples & oranges. If you want to date her you can't be her friend. Right now all you have is a sort of LDR with no clear time table on when boarders will end. Do make it clear that when the world re-opens you want to get together but for now you can't ask her to wait for you 1
Be Cool Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, xxjustinukxx said: Should I cut her loose completely? YES. Because she willingly cut you loose in the 1st place. She does not want you. And you should not (and must not) want somebody who doesn't want you. You are getting "one-itis" on this one. Look the word up. This is due to the fact you are not dating enough women, and are not getting laid often.
kismetkismet Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 It's too hard to be friends with people that you have those kinds of feelings for. Trying to continue a friendship is only going to make you suffer for longer. It's terribly sad, but COVID really does make an LDR nearly impossible. The borders aren't likely to open any time soon (despite what Trump says, Canada/Canadians are very against it), and regular international travel simply isn't a possibility. You've only met once, a year ago, so potentially waiting another year just to TRY an international LDR would be a huge risk. Let her know that you're sad about the split and that your feelings for her are too strong to continue a friendship. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 You should not be her friend while your romantic feelings for her are that strong. You will just torture yourself that way. You will treat her with favoritism over all friends and in ways you normally don’t treat friends because you don’t like her as a friend. You’ll interpret her actions as possibly something more. You will constantly be reminded of this whole ordeal. I see no real benefit in staying in this zone. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 2 hours ago, xxjustinukxx said: According to the app she wasn't far away and so we hot together for a date. It was amazing. Right off the bat she told me that she was from Canada and was only here for a short time visiting. Why would she be on an app, looking locally while she is "just visiting"?, What was up with that deception? 1
Author xxjustinukxx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why would she be on an app, looking locally while she is "just visiting"?, What was up with that deception? She did say from the start she was just visiting and was just browsing the app. No deception there.
Wiseman2 Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 On 10/27/2020 at 1:38 PM, xxjustinukxx said: She did say from the start she was just visiting and was just browsing the app. No deception there. Ok, so she was clear about nothing serious. 1
MeadowFlower Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 (edited) On 10/28/2020 at 3:30 AM, xxjustinukxx said: And as the weeks and months rolled on, and we still couldn't meet, eventually she admitted she didn't see a future for us and I got the "let's just be friends" speech. But at the same time I love having her in my life and we support each other a lot with things we've been through lately. So I'm torn. I genuinely value her friendship but I can't go on feeling heartbroken like this. Should I cut her loose completely? Oh my gosh, yes. Absolutely cut her loose completely. She doesn't deserve your friendship. Don't be friends with her and don't support her or allow her to support you. She could've had that with you but she doesn't value it enough, so drop her completely. I know it's hard but you have to do a complete breakup. And block her like there's no tomorrow on everything. Don't wade in her half heartedness. You can of course tell her first that you are not going to remain friends, but then after that, drop her. People either have a heart for you or they don't. Sorry though.... Edited October 29, 2020 by MeadowFlower
Trail Blazer Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 It won't work, brother! LDR and Covid are incompatible. Even if you're in, say, Seattle and she's in Vancouver, B.C. it's just a bridge too far right now. Let her go. Move on. Find someone local. It hurts but you can't go on torturing yourself when there's no future in this relationship.
CLS63AMG Posted October 30, 2020 Posted October 30, 2020 3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said: It won't work, brother! LDR and Covid are incompatible. Even if you're in, say, Seattle and she's in Vancouver, B.C. it's just a bridge too far right now. Let her go. Move on. Find someone local. It hurts but you can't go on torturing yourself when there's no future in this relationship. They could meet in convict park But OP they're right, move on. All the texting after that one meet has falsely elevated your feelings for her. Heck I am feeling the same thing right now, we texted for a week, and had our second date last night and she was a complete 180 from what I thought she was, didn't even want to be around her, we mutually ended things today and I miss her. Way it is. Keep dating.
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