hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 I have been out with a girl for about 6 dates. I started to have feeling for her, so told her how she was feeling. We are always kissing and touchy. She confessed to me that she had feelings after the 4th date and that she pushed them away because she thought I wouldn't like her. She said that she didn't want to get into a relationship because she is afraid to be hurt. She then went on confessing that her family makes her feel worthless. I embarrassingly tried to convince her why we should be together and kinda tried to force it on her, she said sorry. That if I wanted to I can forget about her. I felt bad about the way I spoke to her so I checked up on her the next day. She told me she needed a week of space. I gave that time and contacted her to set up a date for this upcoming Friday, she agreed. My question is why would she still be willing to go on a date next week after saying all those things. I still have feelings for her so thats my reason. Thank you any feedback is appreciated.
mortensorchid Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 I think you are both in limerance (look it up) - it's the more adult term for "I want to be friends".
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) @mortensorchid but we make out lol Edited October 27, 2020 by hokage240sx
Ellener Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 29 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: She said that she didn't want to get into a relationship because she is afraid to be hurt. I think lots of people feel like that, is this the first relationship for you both? Just enjoy your dates, and stay calm! 1
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @Ellener She hasn't been in a relationship in 2 years. I recently got out of a relationship with high school sweet heart, so not the best at dating.
ccas93 Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 If a girl told me after 6 dates that I can forget about her, then I would do exactly that lol less to comply with her but more to have some self respect.
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @ccas93 I feel ashamed about that, I felt bad for the way I reacted that night and reached out. I also wonder if thats just the way she pushes people away. maybe a dumb thought of mine. also emotions were high and we both said things, we possibly didn't mean.
ccas93 Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: @ccas93 I feel ashamed about that, I felt bad for the way I reacted that night and reached out. I also wonder if thats just the way she pushes people away. maybe a dumb thought of mine. also emotions were high and we both said things, we possibly didn't mean. oh you said that? Sorry I was confused. I don't think you did anything you need to feel super ashamed about. Edited October 27, 2020 by ccas93
Ellener Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 39 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: @Ellener She hasn't been in a relationship in 2 years. I recently got out of a relationship with high school sweet heart, so not the best at dating. Be gentle with yourself and with each other; neither of you said anything terrible or abusive, you both have tender emotions so take it slow. Good luck! 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 You liked her, she rejected her. You have feelings. It normal she did to you what she didn’t want to happen to her...get hurt.
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @Ellener thank you I will try to take it easier and slow and enjoy the date. Do you think it is foolish to still go out with her after her rejecting me?
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @Ami1uwant your right, it feels terrible.
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @ccas93 I think we both did at some point. thank you
Ellener Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 17 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: @Ellener thank you I will try to take it easier and slow and enjoy the date. Do you think it is foolish to still go out with her after her rejecting me? No, but it's meant to be fun not an emotional drama!
ExpatInItaly Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 2 hours ago, hokage240sx said: @Ellener thank you I will try to take it easier and slow and enjoy the date. Do you think it is foolish to still go out with her after her rejecting me? To be blunt, yes. She's not in the right head-space to date. If her family makes her feel so worthless that it interferes with her love life, she's not ready to have a relationship. 1
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @ExpatInItaly thank you! I don't know why should would still want to go out?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 18 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: @ExpatInItaly thank you! I don't know why should would still want to go out? A little fun, some distraction, who knows. She might be just fine to see you as long as it's casual. In her mind, she is probably thinking you're okay with that since she told you how she's feeling and you still asked for another date. The bottom line is that she has warned you she doesn't want to get into a relationship. You need to believe her.
Trail Blazer Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 Sorry, bro! I know it's hard when we fall for a girl and she makes it out as though she's on the same page then she's seemingly not for whatever reason. You seem fairly young. Don't be hard on yourself. Just learn from your experiences. Trust me, if a girl is pushing you away you have to let her go.
schlumpy Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 You don't have a solid foundation upon which to move forward. Making out is not a solid foundation. You will have to drop the heavy stuff and make the dates light and breezy. Concentrate on being fun to be with. Once that foundation is built moving forward in the relationship will be a natural progression as you both build the framework. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2020 Posted October 27, 2020 She doesn't want to sleep with you as fast as you do. She's pumping the brakes.
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) @ExpatInItaly ok that makes sense! Edited October 27, 2020 by hokage240sx
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) @Wiseman2 that could definitely be it. we haven't done that due to her being a virgin lol Edited October 27, 2020 by hokage240sx
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @schlumpy that makes sense, ill try that. do you think It is possible to do that even after the initial rejection.
Author hokage240sx Posted October 27, 2020 Author Posted October 27, 2020 @Trail Blazer thank you for your advice, yea she seemed on the same page. it definitely hurt my feelings.
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