Author QTpie123 Posted November 29, 2020 Author Posted November 29, 2020 BTW the breathalyzer was more to give me peace of mind and to force a consequence on him for his actions. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do...idk?
Pottering About Posted November 29, 2020 Posted November 29, 2020 James Morrison - Broken Strings. Hit the nail on the head for me. Let me hold you For the last time It's the last chance to feel again But you broke me Now I can't feel anything When I love you, It's so untrue I can't even convince myself When I'm speaking, It's the voice of someone else Oh it tears me up I try to hold on, But it hurts too much I try to forgive, But it's not enough to make it all okay You can't play on broken strings You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real Oh the truth hurts A lie's worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before 1
Had I Known Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 I'm curious, what was your marriage like before you cheated on your husband? Was it good? Were you two really in love? Or was your marriage loveless and cold? Also, had your husband been your only sexual partner before your affair? I think it is very possible your affair destroyed your husband and he simply never recovered despite claims of forgiveness and the appearance of moving on. I think his affairs were revenge affairs that never satisfied his need for revenge....because they never had the power to do so. The point of revenge is to make the victim feel they exacted greater or equal pain onto theose who victimized them. Revenge affairs can never accomplish this because they occur within an already destroyed relationship. The pain of the original affair can never be equalled because it destroyed what was beautiful, innocent and pure. There was nothing beautiful, innocent and pure left to destroy by his revenge affair so he was left unsatisfied hence the repeat affairs to try to equal that pain. There is nothing that can ease his pain because nothing can bring back the purity and innocence of your pre-affair marriage. It was unwise of him to think he could ever have revenge, he should have divorced you after your affair to save you both from all this pain. He probably wanted to divorce you but also wanted you too much to let you go. The pain of losing you will be terrible for him, but it will end and in time he can find that pure, innocent love he has been mourning the loss of with you. Staying together will be neverending pain for both of you unless you can somehow call a truce and agree to put your past behind you and FULLY commit and FULLY give of yourselves to the other. It would be a tremendous risk for both of you, but if you can both be completely sincere and committed the reward could be even more tremendous. Good Luck.
DKT3 Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 I dont believe your husband is invested in this relationship and hasn't been for a long time. His behavior is common among men, well boys. I believe he is trying to make you pull the plug, so he isn't the bad guy.
mark clemson Posted November 30, 2020 Posted November 30, 2020 12 hours ago, Had I Known said: beautiful, innocent and pure. Don't get me wrong, because I liked your advice, particularly the last paragraph. That said, I would note that this seems like an extremely idealized view of marriage. I would guess that there are people who share this type of view AND many people who do not. So, while I do find it an interesting postulation, I guess your thoughts on how the revenge affairs weren't "fully satisfying" in some way would hinge on whether OP's husband thinks like this as well. Perhaps OP will chime in.
Recommended Posts