girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 I met this guy a week ago on OLD, we felt an instant connection and texted and talked on the phone every day until last Thursday when we met in person. He picked me up from where I live and we had lunch together and then he took me back. It was really nice, I felt attracted to him and excited about seeing him again. But then he didn't text the next hours. He sent me a text later that evening saying his daughter had flu symptoms and he was extremely worried and she was going to go to the hospital to be tested for Covid. I send him positive energy as he was really worried. The next day he used to always send me good morning text and nothing. I sent him a message saying good morning and asking how his daughter is. He replied saying he still doesn't know, he is waiting as his daughter was with her mom. He also said he was very busy working. I responded "ok hope all goes well" and haven't heard from him since. Also, he didn't read that last message. Now I don't know what to do or think!? If there wasn't that situation with his daughter I would think ok he is not into me and I would move on. But because of that situation, I don't know what's going on. Also I don't want to chase him sending messages if he is not into me. So don't know what to do now. Should I message him again asking how things are? Or ask if he doesn't want to continue taking to me? Or just say nothing and send no text? Really confused! Any advice?
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 His child was so sick she had to go to the hospital! He's not thinking about some woman he met on OLD. Do nothing. On Monday and not before send a text asking how his daughter is. Right now he has his hands full. Don't be a pest he doesn't have time for. For you to reach out now & even imply that he's not giving you enough attention makes you look whiney & clingy. It also telegraphs that you are not somebody he should date because you don't understand that a sick kid takes priority
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 1 minute ago, d0nnivain said: His child was so sick she had to go to the hospital! He's not thinking about some woman he met on OLD. Do nothing. On Monday and not before send a text asking how his daughter is. Right now he has his hands full. Don't be a pest he doesn't have time for. For you to reach out now & even imply that he's not giving you enough attention makes you look whiney & clingy. It also telegraphs that you are not somebody he should date because you don't understand that a sick kid takes priority That's not true. I do understand. That's why I don't know what to do, if I should contact him because to be honest I am worried as well, or if I should give him space. If it was a friend of mine I wouldn't wait until Monday, I would contact and wanted to know because I worry.
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 You do nothing. He may be stressed by his daughter's situation or he may not have felt a connection with you and he's fading. Both situation you do nothing. This man must have tons of people to update on his daughter's health like grand parents, aunts uncles, friends of family, don't add to that. My money is on he didn't feel a connection. 6
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: If it was a friend of mine I wouldn't wait until Monday, I would contact and wanted to know because I worry. He's not a friend, he's a stranger you had a coffee with. You may feel concerned by his daughter's situation but obviously he doesn't feel like he owes you anything as he didn't contact you to share his concern, right. 3 1
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 8 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: That's not true. I do understand. That's why I don't know what to do, if I should contact him because to be honest I am worried as well, or if I should give him space. If it was a friend of mine I wouldn't wait until Monday, I would contact and wanted to know because I worry. If he was a friend you could get involved. Now, after 1 date you are trying to insert yourself into a situation where you don't belong. Wait. On Monday you will still come across as concerned but not invasive. Before then you would look like a pest IMO Text if you want to but don't expect much 3
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: If he was a friend you could get involved. Now, after 1 date you are trying to insert yourself into a situation where you don't belong. Wait. On Monday you will still come across as concerned but not invasive. Before then you would look like a pest IMO Text if you want to but don't expect much Ok I see what you mean. I don't want to bother him, so whatever it is I'll do nothing. 1
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 I dunno....timing in all this is suspect....I wouldn't hold my breath. If I were you I would continue to chat/meet other men in the meantime. 6
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 A man fading after a 1st face-to-face meeting isn't anything new in the dating world. 2
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 6 minutes ago, smackie9 said: I dunno....timing in all this is suspect....I wouldn't hold my breath. If I were you I would continue to chat/meet other men in the meantime. Yes I am chatting with other men. And I agree, timing is suspect. Also it was only one date so I don't know him at all to say he is with his daughter or just not into me. I just feel a difference because before our date he was texting me all the time all day long, so I'm confused now. We added each other on Facebook and he posts a lot of content every day, and hasn't posted anything since Thursday, so don't know what to think. But yeah I'll do nothing since he didn't even read my last message, and will chat with other men. 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: A man fading after a 1st face-to-face meeting isn't anything new in the dating world. It's the most common thing in the world. That's why in my question here I said if it wasn't for his daughter's situation, I would think he's not into me and that's it. But I also wonder if he wasn't into me, why did he inform me about his daughter after our date!? That's why I am confused.
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 (edited) Hey the proof is in the pudding as they say....after they meet you and they completely change then do a 180, it's a "not interested". One thing I have noticed....everyone is using Covid as an excuse for everything. Edited October 24, 2020 by smackie9 2 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 1 minute ago, smackie9 said: Hey the proof is in the pudding as they say....after they meet you and they completely change then do a 180, it's a "not interested". Got it.
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 @smackie9 your statement about lost interest may generally be true but here the day after their date the guy's kid got sick during a pandemic. That fact changes the equation. I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt to point. But girlnextdoor2020 has to back off for at least the rest of the weekend, maybe even until next Thursday which would be one week after their date. If she contacts him next week & doesn't get a favorable or substantive response, then she should give up
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 (edited) Was he replying to a text of yours? Also, I don't know where you are from but here we are forbitten to go to hospital if we have covid symptoms. We have to call a covid number and head to a covid center. Edited October 24, 2020 by Gaeta
Ruby Slippers Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 If he was texting you good morning and stopped the day after the date, I think he's not that into you. Even with a sick child, it takes a few seconds to send a text. I'd consider this one not a match and move on. 4
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Was he replying to a text of yours? Also, I don't know where you are from but here we are forbitten to go to hospital if we have covid symptoms. We have call a covid number and head to a covid center. After our date and later that evening, he sent me the text telling me about his daughter. I replied to him and he said they were trying to call that number so she could go and be tested. He said he was very worried. Next day I sent him a text asking how she was and he said he was busy working and he was waiting for his ex to tell him about his daughter. I wished him well and haven't heard from him since. See why I am confused? A guy who is not interested wouldn't send a text after our date informing about his daughter.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: If he was texting you good morning and stopped the day after the date, I think he's not that into you. Even with a sick child, it takes a few seconds to send a text. I'd consider this one not a match and move on. Yes, unless his mind is all over the place with what's happening to his daughter.
Fletch Lives Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 I have to remember that excuse to get out of things - "I think my family member has covid, I can't do it right now!" 2 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 13 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: @smackie9 your statement about lost interest may generally be true but here the day after their date the guy's kid got sick during a pandemic. That fact changes the equation. I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt to point. But girlnextdoor2020 has to back off for at least the rest of the weekend, maybe even until next Thursday which would be one week after their date. If she contacts him next week & doesn't get a favorable or substantive response, then she should give up Yes, will do that. I want to show I care but on the other hand it was only one date and also I have no idea what he feels after the date because he didn't say anything about it.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 Just now, Fletch Lives said: I have to remember that excuse to get out of things - "I think my family member has covid, I can't do it right now!" He would be a very twisted idiot if he said his daughter has got covid to get out of dating someone. 1 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 24, 2020 Posted October 24, 2020 1 minute ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Yes, unless his mind is all over the place with what's happening to his daughter. If he liked you, he'd want to make sure you know that, whatever else is going on. 5
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: If he liked you, he'd want to make sure you know that, whatever else is going on. That's exactly how I am and feel. I would find at least a few seconds to send a message to the guy I am interested. 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted October 24, 2020 Author Posted October 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: How old is the daughter? She is 15.
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