acidrein_08 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 I am a long member of the Loveshack community, it helped me through some hard times before and I'm hoping I can get some advice and finally get out of the situation I am in. Me and my ex broke up almost 8 months ago (1 1/2 year relationship). About a week after that, I had realized it was for good and decided no contact was the best way to go. I ignored phone calls, text messages, until a couple months later I answered a private call which happened to be her. She said she had heard a lot about me and was interested in finding out things, so thats when it began. We started talking again, she had left to college the fall before (part of the reasons for breaking up) but came home on most weekends. We started meeting every once in awhile, then it was every day that we talked. We spent time together and I visited her at college when she wasn't home on the weekends. Finally we started talking about getting back together and she wanted to wait till the time was right. We eventually went out, but almost instantly she changed and acted like she didn't care and she had made the wrong decision, a few days later, we broke up. It was mutual, even though had fallen back in love with her I let her go. We continued staying friends, then we started arguing over stuff, and talked less and less. She hooked up with another guy and we pretty much quit talking altogether. During this time we worked together at the park, so we were able to talk about and fix some problems between us and became friends again. She soon broke up with her boyfriend and we started hanging out again, she left back to college a couple months ago and we talk, hang out on occasion, we claim to be best friends, but I love her still and she knows it, its really hard sometimes becuase I get really down. Now don't get me wrong, I have talked to other girls and my summer was a blast hanging out with my friends both guys and girls. I haven't found someone I can picture myself being with and I think about my ex all the time. I don't know what to do to be released from this grip of hers. We just got off the phone and we talked for an hour but I feel like we just go no where anymore. Sorry this is so long but can somebody help me?
fatcat Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Dude, she's not the problem....you are. You sound nice...perhaps too nice. If she was any good she wouldn't be screwing with you by getting back together and then leaving, coming back...ewww That gives me a headache. Getting back together once is enough, I say. Forget about her, and throw that torch you carry for her into a lake. You'll meet someone new in a couple months, just don't force it with women, it will happen and soon you'll be nuts over someone else.
sanne Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 hey acid i remember your posts from a while back. i always wondered what had happened to you, i figured things were great in your life and you had finally moved on. it's a bit disappointing to see that she still has you in her grip. what your going to realize is that you haven't really dealt with the breakup at all, even though it has been 8 months. if you really want to move on and find someone else you will have to let her go and stop contact with her altogether. don't convince yourself that you can coexist with her as just a friend, it isn't going to workout at all (which you have clearly seen). trust me, it's going to hurt you just as badly as when you first broke up, but it will get better in time and you will be a much stronger person because of it. sometimes we are afraid to let go because we are uncertain about what's going to happen next. life has a funny way of surprising you when you least expect it, and you will find someone else besides her.
Author acidrein_08 Posted October 22, 2005 Author Posted October 22, 2005 Hey you all. Well I haven't talked to her since I last posted but she has called me a couple times and wrote me an email. I didn't answer or write her back and have been doing really good keeping the no contact. But this weekend is becoming difficult becuase I am thinking about her and I try to keep my mind off her but I wonder different stuff. What do I need to do next?
pippen_2k Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Theres no secret remedy dude, just keep doing what your doing ( ignoring any contact from her and keepin busy ) and let time run its course.
meltwithme Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 This is a public survice announcement sponsored by Just blaze and the good folks at Roc-A-Fella Records. Now before i finish let me just say i did not come here to show out, I did not come here to impress you because tell u the truth when i leave here I'm GONE and i dont care what u think about me but just remember when it hits the fan brother whether its next year, ten years, twenty years from now you'll never be able to say that these brothers lied to you JACK. No matter where u go u are what u are player, And u can try to change but thats just the top layer, Man u was who u was before u got here, Only GOD can judge me so I'm gon, Either love me or leave me alone. Now back to our regular scheduled program. (Le Album Noir) The Black Album. She is who she is, you told her the truth (how you feel). Tell her when the "**** hits the fan" dont come tell me anymore. Cmon man aren't you tired of this, I can tell it's ****ing with your mind and probably health too. Time to tell this B to love you or leave you alone.
Ruff Ryder Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Whats up mate? Well it a hard one to play. Anything in life is hard if emotions are involved they cloud you judjment. What you must know is that it takes a real special person to be there in the hard time. You see everone loves the good days and when everything is going well but the secont the Shi* hits the fan not many people will be there for you. You must understand that if you find someone that will stand by you no matter what you'll be very lucky. In your case if she has left befor and come back well then she loves you however if she has left more than once well thats a problem. She is in confort zone and thats not a good thing (you have to break that chain of thought) Best thing to do is forget about her and move on with life. I know its harder said than done but at the end its the only reall way to get out of it (if you find another please let me know) Hope that helps a bit. RYDE TO DIE RUFF RYDERS
Author acidrein_08 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Posted October 24, 2005 Well this past Saturday she tried calling my cell again and after I didn't answer my home phone started ringing and my Dad answered it and told me to get it so I did and of coarse it was her. She had wondered where i'd been and asked if I never thought about her and we talked for a few minutes and she sounded really happy to finally get a chance to talk, but then I told her I had to go and she said ok, and talk to me later, so we got off. Didn't think about her the rest of the night went with some friends and a couple girls I liked to the movies then later that night we went to a haunted house, on the way to another one we were all in my truck (had 8 of us in there) and were following some more and a deer jumped out in between us and I hit it head on. So my truck is pretty totalled in the front. Her roomate was in the car we were following so I'm pretty sure she's heard about it by now. Yesterday she called and left a voicemail but it was just hey what's up, nothing about the wreck or anything (so I don't guess she knows yet) but she hasn't called again and I'm really down on everything. Not just the fact that she don't call but i'm not getting anywhere right now with some girls i'm interested in.
seachange Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 Hiya, acid. I do think no contact is the way to go - all this continued interaction with her, and the constant hope that maybe you'll get back together, is the main thing preventing you from moving on. You're not letting yourself be interested in anyone else (and I'm sure she's happy about that part of the equation). No contact doesn't have to be a "f**k you" situation; I think, if she cares about you, she oughtn't to be so selfish as to want you still hung up on her to the point where you can't find happiness elsewhere. NC can just be about saying, look, this isn't working for me, I'm not happy this way and I don't see that changing, so I need to do something else that will work. So I think in this case, because you've said you're best friends and this might be a big shock to her, you should just say firmly that you need to move on, and although you care about her, you just can't be friends now, and won't respond to any more contact from her (or initiate, of course). I guarantee that if you do let her go - truly go, as in, give up the idea that you'll get back together - you will also eventually loosen her grip on you. But I really think that's the only way.
Ruff Ryder Posted October 24, 2005 Posted October 24, 2005 No contact is the way to go it is hard but give it a try, if you going to do it you have to go all the way. Breal all ties with them and go on living your life. Good luck.
Author acidrein_08 Posted November 16, 2005 Author Posted November 16, 2005 I haven't talked to her since the last time i've posted and things have been going good. I work a lot so I don't get to do much through the week but the weekends have been a blast. I still think about her every now and then and actually saw her pass by and she waved while I was driving down the road. She called today and I didn't answer but she said it was really important and to please call her back so about an hour later I did. It wasn't that important she was wondering how to get out of some membership she got in while we were together then I told her I had to go and I'd call her later cause I had just got out of the shower and she tried asking how i'd been so I said little then repeated that I had to go and she said 'your not going to call back are you'..which made me laugh and I asked if she really wanted me to and she said it was up to me so I said ok, bye and hung up. Don't plan on calling her for now, what should I do?
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