Author ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 4 minutes ago, elaine567 said: That is because you prioritise attractiveness, not everyone does... Sure. Sure.
carhill Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 3 hours ago, ZA Dater said: I am interested if anyone here would entertain a date like this and if so why. Sure, did it, though more through social circle acquaintances not close friends and, back then if a man wanted to see a woman socially he had to either call her up or ask her out in person. Why? Because that's what socializing is all about. Not every contact is a marriage or even a date. The person could have a friend or family member more compatible to check out if they aren't, that's kinda how socializing works, or used to anyway. Heck I met a lot of ladies simply going to weddings I was invited to. Great place to meet ladies, sure most were married but it's all about networking. Anyway, this is old stuff, likely we've been down this road before but hey haven't been around in awhile so will wish you good fortunes. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, ZA Dater said: Scenario, good friend of mine sends me a picture of someone ""she would really like to have dinner with you, she is a yoga instructor, a friend of a friend of mine, very cool" Then this morning "please send me a good picture of you I can send to her" Call me cynical but how does someone who does not even know what I look like really want to go to dinner with me? What exactly were the selling points which suddenly made her so keen to go for dinner with me? I have been down this road before with this same friend a few years ago when he was trying to set me up with people and it was always like I was sold as some sort of pity project and I wont lie I felt quite bad about that because what happened was I would meet this people and from minute 1 I could see they were not interested in me and had been "convinced" I was a project. Needless to say these were very awkward interactions which went nowhere and I am not keen to repeat them Unfortunately the issue is this friend then as in now thinks I he knows what is best and loves playing cupid but he is literally trying to match apples with oranges. What would you do, one look at the pictures of this lady suggests she has tons of options and honestly I'd be at the bottom of that list. Telling said friend I am not interested is fairly easy but also complicated because it takes the discussion down a road I am not comfortable with. What I really want to avoid is that 'pity project" scenario and with this I just feel its another one of those type set ups. "Blind dates: yes or no" What say we address the title of your thread rather than all of this tangential stuff? I suggest that IF we could all have "blind dates" that were 'arranged' by well-meaning friends... AND experience those dates in some sort of a vacuum in which we could know that nobody was going to go back and talk to 3rd parties about us, that we would be collectively more in favor of blind dates. For example: if you both live in Houston, Texas, USA, and could somehow be transported to New Orleans or Oklahoma City to share this (dinner) date (lets call it), AND you could know that neither side would race back and tell eager Cupids what they thought of the person and the date, that everyone would be more eager to go on such dates. (NOT just for reasons of the flight to a neighboring state/area). Ultimately, it's your own vulnerability that you're uneasy about, and not a particular person or that analysis you've done up above. Consider, also, that being uneasy about one's own vulnerability is the greatest single reason why X number of people are "single" in 2020. Your seeming trial/survey here isn't fair to "blind dating" as a general concept... and of course everybody who responds will tell of unique-bordering-bizarre personal experiences which will only serve to make clear that their own personal sample sizes (of one, seven or seventeen) aren't enough to have afforded them a fair assortment of "blind dates" to make a logical analysis of your question. Furthermore, while I assume that some 'blind dates' set-up by well-intended friends DO end with sexual assaults or other unlawful interactions, I would guess that the prevalence of such endings is greatly reduced in scenarios where two people were 'fixed-up' by (actual) friends, and thus 'blind dates' are perhaps safer for women than might be the sum of all other dates. (and it is perhaps because the men involved DO know that they will have to answer to friends later on for any action that takes place) That alone is probably reason to vote "yes" to your question. Your idea of a "pity project" is more a case of you seeing your own vulnerability in the proverbial mirror. So stop it. If somebody told me that in 5 years I might be living happily with the love of my life (in New Orleans or in Oklahoma City, even), it wouldn't matter if it were somebody with whom I was "fixed-up" by my own worst enemy. *** edit *** Reading the rest of the thread further underscores that it's your own vulnerability in such a setting, that is your main concern It's illogical (albeit completely normal ) (but you can't do an assault on "blind dating" as a concept when fueled as you are) (that just isn't fair) Quote Edited October 19, 2020 by SincereOnlineGuy 1
Author ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, SincereOnlineGuy said: What say we address the title of your thread rather than all of this tangential stuff? I suggest that IF we could all have "blind dates" that were 'arranged' by well-meaning friends... AND experience those dates in some sort of a vacuum in which we could know that nobody was going to go back and talk to 3rd parties about us, that we would be collectively more in favor of blind dates. For example: if you both live in Houston, Texas, USA, and could somehow be transported to New Orleans or Oklahoma City to share this (dinner) date (lets call it), AND you could know that neither side would race back and tell eager Cupids what they thought of the person and the date, that everyone would be more eager to go on such dates. (NOT just for reasons of the flight to a neighboring state/area). Ultimately, it's your own vulnerability that you're uneasy about, and not a particular person or that analysis you've done up above. Consider, also, that being uneasy about one's own vulnerability is the greatest single reason why X number of people are "single" in 2020. Your seeming trial/survey here isn't fair to "blind dating" as a general concept... and of course everybody who responds will tell of unique-bordering-bizarre personal experiences which will only serve to make clear that their own personal sample sizes (of one, seven or seventeen) aren't enough to have afforded them a fair assortment of "blind dates" to make a logical analysis of your question. Furthermore, while I assume that some 'blind dates' set-up by well-intended friends DO end with sexual assaults or other unlawful interactions, I would guess that the prevalence of such endings is greatly reduced in scenarios where two people were 'fixed-up' by (actual) friends, and thus 'blind dates' are perhaps safer for women than might be the sum of all other dates. (and it is perhaps because the men involved DO know that they will have to answer to friends later on for any action that takes place) That alone is probably reason to vote "yes" to your question. Your idea of a "pity project" is more a case of you seeing your own vulnerability in the proverbial mirror. So stop it. If somebody told me that in 5 years I might be living happily with the love of my life (in New Orleans or in Oklahoma City, even), it wouldn't matter if it were somebody with whom I was "fixed-up" by my own worst enemy. *** edit *** Reading the rest of the thread further underscores that it's your own vulnerability in such a setting, that is your main concern It's illogical (albeit completely normal ) (but you can't do an assault on "blind dating" as a concept when fueled as you are) (that just isn't fair) Perhaps I need to make it clear, I think as a concept it could work IF the intention was to try and set up people who might be vaguely compatible. He does not even know the person he is trying to set me up with, I mean really. My point being this particular scenario, how many people would actually go along with that? If I were going to try set people up I'd at least actually think if they might get along, I have stated MANY times I am not interested in ladies with kids, yet here we go, one with two kids and she probably 10 years older than me. When I look that this the idea is just too awkward and if I know this friend he is probably just trying to get me laid.
Author ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 For me the overriding thing with set up is, if the person is so fantastic why is the single person setting me up not interested in these fantastic people. Why would you set up your friend with someone fantastic if you yourself are looking.... But I have been down this road many times with this friend, the people I do like, well I get no help with those but the ones completely unsuited those are "perfect for you". He himself gets to pick from anyone really because wealth, fitness, fun and confidence mean you get that choice. People like that cannot ever relate.
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 2 hours ago, ZA Dater said: Bottom line is I had zero reason to date. The pic sent was one which must just been taken ages ago, her latest pics look very different, this is typically this friend of mine. The deal breakers are total deal breakers for me. Like wouldn't even say hi to her deal breakers? Or not kiss her deal breakers? I'm assuming it can't be looks if you think she has "tons of options" so why date you. You don't seem to have tons of options though, so why not try to make some? You miss the point where even if she is not for you, she may have friends who are. If you are going to eschew OLD then you need to build your social circle, as in its current state it is doing nothing for you it seems. You also seem to have really no sight of the bigger picture here. It is not all about this person being the one you want or not. I really don't get why you even ask if she is a total deal breaker to even meet. If it is so clear and you are not even considering it why even bother to ask us what we'd do or suggest? Why ask us anything if your mind is already 100% made up? Is it just to dangle out there a question and tell us all how we are just wrong and don't get it when we reply? I hope you don't interact with your real life friends that way, eventually people will just write you off. 1
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 34 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: .... When I look that this the idea is just too awkward and if I know this friend he is probably just trying to get me laid. I thought that was something you wanted? So much so you had posts about considering seeking out a prostitute. What then is so offensive if you found each other physically attractive and went for it? Clearly if a prostitute will work you don't need an emotional connection. Your friend may well be finding a person for you he knows you won't fall head over heels for just because she is your first, and she may be looking for a casual thing as well. 1
Author ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 33 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Like wouldn't even say hi to her deal breakers? Or not kiss her deal breakers? I'm assuming it can't be looks if you think she has "tons of options" so why date you. You don't seem to have tons of options though, so why not try to make some? You miss the point where even if she is not for you, she may have friends who are. If you are going to eschew OLD then you need to build your social circle, as in its current state it is doing nothing for you it seems. You also seem to have really no sight of the bigger picture here. It is not all about this person being the one you want or not. I really don't get why you even ask if she is a total deal breaker to even meet. If it is so clear and you are not even considering it why even bother to ask us what we'd do or suggest? Why ask us anything if your mind is already 100% made up? Is it just to dangle out there a question and tell us all how we are just wrong and don't get it when we reply? I hope you don't interact with your real life friends that way, eventually people will just write you off. I ask because of find the entire set up odd, clearly I am wrong because nobody else finds it odd someone who has never seen me wants to go to dinner. I'd never do that personally. Guy setting me up hasn't even met her yet tells me she is "cool". Also I have no real good dating selling points so knowing that I know a pity party is being the selling point, would you go knowing that to be the case? Maybe our perspective and circumstances are different but I don't exactly see my friend selling my attributes to people he might like but I am good enough for people he isn't interested in. I wouldn't get to know someone purely to see if they had nice friends. Consider that fact I have three friends. I'd happily be set up with people I actually might like....
Author ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 31 minutes ago, SumGuy said: I thought that was something you wanted? So much so you had posts about considering seeking out a prostitute. What then is so offensive if you found each other physically attractive and went for it? Clearly if a prostitute will work you don't need an emotional connection. Your friend may well be finding a person for you he knows you won't fall head over heels for just because she is your first, and she may be looking for a casual thing as well. She is 45+ and I simply do not find her attractive. He tells me she is stunning yet he wouldn't date her that's what gripes me about these set ups it's the same nonsense everytime. Morally I can't pay but believe me it's to me the best of a list of bad ideas.
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 22 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: I ask because of find the entire set up odd, clearly I am wrong because nobody else finds it odd someone who has never seen me wants to go to dinner. I'd never do that personally. Guy setting me up hasn't even met her yet tells me she is "cool". Also I have no real good dating selling points so knowing that I know a pity party is being the selling point, would you go knowing that to be the case? Maybe our perspective and circumstances are different but I don't exactly see my friend selling my attributes to people he might like but I am good enough for people he isn't interested in. I wouldn't get to know someone purely to see if they had nice friends. Consider that fact I have three friends. I'd happily be set up with people I actually might like.... I'll agree he doesn't know her and who knows where he gets his info. Neither do I nor do you. You'll only know if you meet her. At this point if I was you and had no success at all into my 30s is I would strongly consider that my judgment and thought process around dating is somehow fundamentally flawed instead of seeking each and every opportunity to reinforce and repeat what hasn't worked. I would cast off and stop being so concerned about why your friends are setting you up, what they are saying, etc. Unless you suspect you will wake up less one kidney, this is a very unproductive pity party way to think. The cost and harm to you in meeting her is minimal. Nothing you have done so far has worked so why not try something else? You get to know people because they may be nice and you may become friends, and even if she is not your cup of tea she may have friends who are, or they may have friends. That is how a social circle forms and grows. 1 1
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 29 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: She is 45+ and I simply do not find her attractive. He tells me she is stunning yet he wouldn't date her that's what gripes me about these set ups it's the same nonsense everytime.... Your friend has a whole lot of reasons why he may not date someone besides looks and it's not like he can date every woman he finds stunning, and why do you even care if he would date her? Are you so insecure in what you find attractive that you need other men's approval, or does she need to look like some media figure "everyone" finds attractive? Yes it is the same nonsense everytime... I have a strong suspicion you have a very narrow range of what you find attractive, to each their own but don't blame the world and women for you dating woes.
elaine567 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 Your friend acting as matchmaker is not there to set you up with the "fantastic" dates, he can attract. That is not the job of a matchmaker. He is trying to set you up with a realistic date... Someone who is willing to go out with you and give it a chance. You are equating your appeal with his, when as you say he has so much going for him, "wealth, fitness, fun and confidence..." The women attracted to him are not going to be attracted to you, are they? That is the bottom line. Once you can match him in wealth, fitness, fun and confidence, then you can moan about him not setting you up with the "fantastic women" you want. But then you wouldn't need to be set up, would you?. It is probably hard work selling some guy who won't go for drinks and hang out in clubs or do the socialising that men looking for dates tend to do and who doesn't do fun... So while you don't want to be seen as a project, that is in essence what you are. Until you make an effort to somehow fit in, then you will always be seen as a project, both by your friend and by the woman you seek to attract. Sort yourself out, is my advice... No-one else can do that for you. 2 1
basil67 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 6 hours ago, ZA Dater said: I am very sure I was sold as a pity project because that's what he has done countless times in the past. I have to agree with @Fletch Lives that match making was frequently done back in the old days. We so often met a friend of a friend. And we didn't need photos to have us take a chance. I was set up with my partner, no photos in advance. ZA, you're a logical dude, so ask yourself if it's logical that a person would agree to going on a date with someone who's been sold as a pity project. Selling as a pity project won't work not only because it pitches the potential date as a loser, but it also suggests that the other party is only worthy of a loser. People agree to go on dates because the other person has been sold well. You have been sold as someone worth meeting. 2
boymommy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 If I was single I would make sure that my friend sent this person a picture of myself before the meeting and then I would totally go! Because honestly thats exactly what online dating is like...you see a picture of someone and then meet to see if there is anything there! Anyone can say anything on their profile but you really don't know what someone is like until you meet them, so essentially its JUST like a blind date. I would totally go if I would you but make sure your matchmaker friend sends a nice pic of you out! If you are single you have nothing to lose! Dating is hard in general...the chances of hitting it off randomly with ANYONE is kind of a gamble. Maybe your friend will get it right one of these times? Have some confidence dude!
Foxhall Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 Your posting here and your history of getting a lot of dates suggests you are good enough really in an online capacity, its finding the way to become more confident in person, If I was you Id take a step back from the dates for six months, I would join some groups though of things that might interest me, and Id be watching out for women in those groups, are there any that seem interesting to you, why are they interesting, try getting more comfortable yourself being in the same room as them and see which ones seem more approachable, with a lot of this online at the moment that should help perhaps, as to your actual question I dont see any harm in trying the matchmaker date, but I suspect you will ultimately have to find a woman yourself on your own terms, at the end of the day no one else really can know who is a suitable match for you, In my case I struggled a long time and endured many fruitless dates, I found a breakthrough with women from diverse cultures, mexicans, hungarians, malaysians, and I did not meet any of them until my 30s- I would not have thought that these women were compatible with me but you need to get out there find out more about yourself, find out what people you enjoy being with. the point raised above about you not being a drinker and the life and soul of the party- there are many women out there who will actually appreciate that, I think being conversational and having opinions and things to say is more important widen your net- join diverse groups-by getting out there interacting you can accidentally stumble on people you click with
Ami1uwant Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 13 hours ago, ZA Dater said: Someone who has no idea what I look like wants to go for dinner. Please. Really. Someone who would have lots of options wants to go for dinner with someone they have never seen never mind met. Yeah. Sure. I know what happened here 'I have a friend, he has no experience, no luck dating, he is a sweet nice guy" Play the pity project card for all its worth. There is no gift here just mountains of awkwardness. Would you really consider this sort of scenario? I am a good enough person and do not need or want the pity of others. Assuming I actually wanted to date I'd rather find my own dates that subject myself to this sort of nonsense scenario. Work keeps me busy and the various work related projects keep me going, arranging events keeps me busy and to be frank I enjoy all of those much more than I enjoy meeting people who are ostensibly only meeting me because they feel sorry for me. Have you done online dating? Peop,e in real life don’t look like their pics. she says yes because she trusts him. If he socializes with similar guys thrn his friend might have good qualities.
Miss Spider Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 Blind dates yea 15 hours ago, ZA Dater said: Scenario, good friend of mine sends me a picture of someone ""she would really like to have dinner with you, she is a yoga instructor, a friend of a friend of mine, very cool" Then this morning "please send me a good picture of you I can send to her" Call me cynical but how does someone who does not even know what I look like really want to go to dinner with me? What exactly were the selling points which suddenly made her so keen to go for dinner with me? I have been down this road before with this same friend a few years ago when he was trying to set me up with people and it was always like I was sold as some sort of pity project and I wont lie I felt quite bad about that because what happened was I would meet this people and from minute 1 I could see they were not interested in me and had been "convinced" I was a project. Needless to say these were very awkward interactions which went nowhere and I am not keen to repeat them Unfortunately the issue is this friend then as in now thinks I he knows what is best and loves playing cupid but he is literally trying to match apples with oranges. What would you do, one look at the pictures of this lady suggests she has tons of options and honestly I'd be at the bottom of that list. Telling said friend I am not interested is fairly easy but also complicated because it takes the discussion down a road I am not comfortable with. What I really want to avoid is that 'pity project" scenario and with this I just feel its another one of those type set ups. Probably because you might be attractive to her. The whole idea behind a blind date is that there might be a pleasant surprise waiting behind the curtain 2
Negotaurus Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 If you don't like it, don't go. I don't see what arguing with everybody accomplishes. Stop being judgmental of her and move on if something isn't up to your standard. You deliberately choose to make dating difficult for yourself and nobody here seems to get through to you. So fine. Do your thing, stop judging others for foolish reasons and keep searching for your unicorn - 12/10, funny, interesting, intelligent and successful. But do keep in mind, it's very difficult when you absolutely refuse to do any work on yourself. 4
Author ZA Dater Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 21 hours ago, elaine567 said: Your friend acting as matchmaker is not there to set you up with the "fantastic" dates, he can attract. That is not the job of a matchmaker. He is trying to set you up with a realistic date... Someone who is willing to go out with you and give it a chance. You are equating your appeal with his, when as you say he has so much going for him, "wealth, fitness, fun and confidence..." The women attracted to him are not going to be attracted to you, are they? That is the bottom line. Once you can match him in wealth, fitness, fun and confidence, then you can moan about him not setting you up with the "fantastic women" you want. But then you wouldn't need to be set up, would you?. It is probably hard work selling some guy who won't go for drinks and hang out in clubs or do the socialising that men looking for dates tend to do and who doesn't do fun... So while you don't want to be seen as a project, that is in essence what you are. Until you make an effort to somehow fit in, then you will always be seen as a project, both by your friend and by the woman you seek to attract. Sort yourself out, is my advice... No-one else can do that for you. No he is not setting up with a realistic date, if that were the case he would have remembered I do not go on dates with people who have kids. Trust me I know the selling technique because I have seen it first hand a few times before, all of those times have been cringe worthy. Like the time he told a store clerk she should go out to dinner with me or the time he tried to set me up with someone else's group of friends, none of which liked me at all but I knew that before I went. I have entertained this idea before. I can understand setting people up who have some sort of commonality, that makes sense to me, 36yo with no dating experience and a 45+yo women with two kids does not exactly sound like much common ground to me. I suppose his logic was I liked the last yoga instructor and well this one is also a yoga instructor, difference was the last one was 30 yo and has no kids and is attractive to me.
Author ZA Dater Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 21 hours ago, basil67 said: ZA, you're a logical dude, so ask yourself if it's logical that a person would agree to going on a date with someone who's been sold as a pity project. Selling as a pity project won't work not only because it pitches the potential date as a loser, but it also suggests that the other party is only worthy of a loser. No I am sold as some sort of oddity, a curiosity, someone so far from the norm that well people cant help but be interested in some weird way, until they meet me and they are completely disinterested, much like going to look at a chameleon, you go and look and its wow for 5 minutes but after 10 you walk away, curiosity satisfied.
Author ZA Dater Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 20 hours ago, Foxhall said: Your posting here and your history of getting a lot of dates suggests you are good enough really in an online capacity, its finding the way to become more confident in person, If I was you Id take a step back from the dates for six months, I would join some groups though of things that might interest me, and Id be watching out for women in those groups, are there any that seem interesting to you, why are they interesting, try getting more comfortable yourself being in the same room as them and see which ones seem more approachable, with a lot of this online at the moment that should help perhaps, as to your actual question I dont see any harm in trying the matchmaker date, but I suspect you will ultimately have to find a woman yourself on your own terms, at the end of the day no one else really can know who is a suitable match for you, In my case I struggled a long time and endured many fruitless dates, I found a breakthrough with women from diverse cultures, mexicans, hungarians, malaysians, and I did not meet any of them until my 30s- I would not have thought that these women were compatible with me but you need to get out there find out more about yourself, find out what people you enjoy being with. the point raised above about you not being a drinker and the life and soul of the party- there are many women out there who will actually appreciate that, I think being conversational and having opinions and things to say is more important widen your net- join diverse groups-by getting out there interacting you can accidentally stumble on people you click with Again when it comes to blind dates, why not set me up with people who I might actually like, I have have known this friend for 20 years I think its safe to say he knows what I like but its also true to say he cannot relate to me in terms of dating either, he tells me his tales of woe and really, they pale in significance to my own. He at least gets to go out with universally attractive people. The only two times anyone vaguely interesting took any interest in me they were both drunk.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 On 10/19/2020 at 1:05 PM, ZA Dater said: Perhaps I need to make it clear, I think as a concept it could work IF the intention was to try and set up people who might be vaguely compatible. He does not even know the person he is trying to set me up with, I mean really. My point being this particular scenario, how many people would actually go along with that? If I were going to try set people up I'd at least actually think if they might get along, I have stated MANY times I am not interested in ladies with kids, yet here we go, one with two kids and she probably 10 years older than me. When I look that this the idea is just too awkward and if I know this friend he is probably just trying to get me laid. "Blind Dates yes or no" has zero to do with kids... or prospects 10 years older than you are. If you want to grumble about one particular friend who is unresponsive to your stated standards, that's fine, and I'm sure that LS has a category that would match it. But we are assuming that it was you, and not your unresponsive friend who selected the title for this thread. Anytime anybody even writes about "blind dates" as a subject, it leans heavily toward knocking the concept without even needing to peruse the specifics. So it remains unfair that you cast another thread into the "blind dates yes or no" category when blind dates have zero to do with your complaint. Had that been your buddy's older sister, with kids, your problems would be precisely the same as they are at present. So why did you introduce "blind dates" as anything relevant to your complaints about your friend not listening?
Author ZA Dater Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 What I ended up doing was simply telling him I am better left alone and totally unsuited to dating, this way I don't need to say anything bad about her and I can make myself the entire problem. This ended the discussion. Fundamentally I am just not a very social person which will always make dating pretty much impossible, sure I went on a great weekend away with a group and I enjoyed chatting to everyone because there are mutual interests. I also know there is a lot more to me and it was nice to bring some of that out because I was comfortable with these people. Look I can think of many people this friend knows who I'd rather be set up with but that's because those people fall into the category of "every guy would want to date her" because they are universally rounded attractive people. However thanks to people here I keep my feet on the ground and look at these sort of people with a big dose of reality.
Author ZA Dater Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 4 minutes ago, SincereOnlineGuy said: "Blind Dates yes or no" has zero to do with kids... or prospects 10 years older than you are. If you want to grumble about one particular friend who is unresponsive to your stated standards, that's fine, and I'm sure that LS has a category that would match it. But we are assuming that it was you, and not your unresponsive friend who selected the title for this thread. Anytime anybody even writes about "blind dates" as a subject, it leans heavily toward knocking the concept without even needing to peruse the specifics. So it remains unfair that you cast another thread into the "blind dates yes or no" category when blind dates have zero to do with your complaint. Had that been your buddy's older sister, with kids, your problems would be precisely the same as they are at present. So why did you introduce "blind dates" as anything relevant to your complaints about your friend not listening? My point is who would go out with someone who apparently wants to meet them without seeing a picture and then wants to see a picture after agreeing to go out with them. Not coffee but DINNER no less. If there is one thing I have learnt here its NO to dinner dates as a first dates. Blind dates do have the a lot to do with it because its how cupid chooses to match people up and the specifics around that concept. The fact the blind date arranged is not suitable is an aside. Based on the posts here it seems most people would actually go.
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