Datingdisabled Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 I was gaming with this guy, and I tend to be a little immature and competitive when gaming, I didn't anticipate I would develop interest in someone but I did. The issue I have is now he thinks I'm strange? Without an opportunity to see this person in real Life, how would I rectify this? I'm really sad and disappointed
Maldives Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 I wouldn't focus on what you believe the issue is otherwise it will become a focus point when it might not even be an issue with him.
Trail Blazer Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) Why does he think you're strange? How do you know this? In what context has this been divulged? What you need to ask yourself is; "Have I actually been strange (as in behaved uncharacteristically), or does he just find the 'real me' to be strange?" I've been called many things in my time. Do I care? Not one iota. I'd rather be everything that everyone's perception of me is in their eyes, so long as I'm true to myself. There's nothing more self-defeating than to try and change yourself in order to fit in to what you believe someone else wants. You'll not attract that person and more likely the outcome will be that you come across as try-hard or fake. Stay true to yourself and the right people will stick around. I don't have a lot of friends (plenty of acquaintances), but the ones I do have are good ones. I'd rather have no friends than crappy ones. Just as I'd rather no relationship than to be in one which requires me to be something that I'm not, lest I want the house of cards to come crashing down. Edited October 19, 2020 by Trail Blazer 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 12 hours ago, Datingdisabled said: The issue I have is now he thinks I'm strange? Why is that? And did he actually come and say this?
Giovane Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 15 hours ago, Datingdisabled said: The issue I have is now he thinks I'm strange? Without an opportunity to see this person in real Life, how would I rectify this? I'm really sad and disappointed The real issue is, without an opportunity to see this person in real life, why does it even matter? Why do you care so much about the opinion of someone you may never meet? How can you have a "crush" on a virtual acquaintance? What does that even mean? What are you hoping for, what is your endgame with this "crush"? 2
Author Datingdisabled Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 32 minutes ago, Giovane said: The real issue is, without an opportunity to see this person in real life, why does it even matter? Why do you care so much about the opinion of someone you may never meet? How can you have a "crush" on a virtual acquaintance? What does that even mean? What are you hoping for, what is your endgame with this "crush"? I know this is off topic but I have an annoyance with people that don't eat at the table! If I envision my boyfriend, then he eats properly at the table. Some people don't eat with proper etiquette when no one's watching and I think he's one of those men. The one time we were gaming and he was at work, someone left food in the kitchen and he ran in to devoir it. That was poor manners and especially since I eat at a proper dinner table!
Author Datingdisabled Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 3 hours ago, Trail Blazer said: Why does he think you're strange? How do you know this? In what context has this been divulged? What you need to ask yourself is; "Have I actually been strange (as in behaved uncharacteristically), or does he just find the 'real me' to be strange?" I've been called many things in my time. Do I care? Not one iota. I'd rather be everything that everyone's perception of me is in their eyes, so long as I'm true to myself. There's nothing more self-defeating than to try and change yourself in order to fit in to what you believe someone else wants. You'll not attract that person and more likely the outcome will be that you come across as try-hard or fake. Stay true to yourself and the right people will stick around. I don't have a lot of friends (plenty of acquaintances), but the ones I do have are good ones. I'd rather have no friends than crappy ones. Just as I'd rather no relationship than to be in one which requires me to be something that I'm not, lest I want the house of cards to come crashing down. Yes I have and I think what's been the hardest is that he had a girlfriend and everyone of our gaming friends don't hold back she's hot. They said they connected mentally, physically and emotionally -leaving me now where to discuss this. I have a lot i am holding onto regarding our online encounters such as the intensive relationship advice. I'm an idiot and I know that! I wanted to reconnect in a better place but I could not fake or rush success. I had to take the time and find out what was going to work for me!! In life, we don't always end up doing what we thought we would but when we're good at something, we make money. This guy doesn't want to hear from me and I've got nowhere to discuss this. It's pretty frustrating when the truth comes out and you realize what just happened.
Author Datingdisabled Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Giovane said: The real issue is, without an opportunity to see this person in real life, why does it even matter? Why do you care so much about the opinion of someone you may never meet? How can you have a "crush" on a virtual acquaintance? What does that even mean? What are you hoping for, what is your endgame with this "crush"? It's too late. It's started off as me leaving but he came into my world and now he's the saint. I'm indifferent to the crush believe it or not but it's a wake up call for me that this actually happened. That he is actually a married man and this had his needs all over it. Everyone served his needs not mine. I had a right to refuse his help when I did.
smackie9 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 You need to meet and be interested in people you have met or have a real chance to meet, not some person on the other side of a computer screen.
kendahke Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, Datingdisabled said: I tend to be a little immature and competitive when gaming, The issue I have is now he thinks I'm strange? if the former seems to affect the latter, work on correcting the former. Quote how would I rectify this? look for someone else to game with. Edited October 19, 2020 by kendahke
carhill Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) 19 hours ago, Datingdisabled said: Without an opportunity to see this person in real Life, how would I rectify this? IMO, keep enjoying the gaming and the rest will take care of itself. There are billions of humans on the planet and, even through no word or action of your own, some will like you, some will hate you, some will think you're wonderful, some will think you're strange, etc, etc. You do you. This particular person is apparently not known to you in real life, what I used to term 'breaking bread', meaning neither have broken bread at each other's homes, so they're part of the billions who are of no consequence in one's brief existence on the planet. Fun for an anonymous game. That's it. Edited October 19, 2020 by carhill They're not there
introverted1 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 DD, IIRC you had a crush (or two) on someone on this site when you first joined. Now you have a crush on a guy you game with. Is it possible you have these crushes as a way of avoiding actual relationships? Crushing on online personas you have not met (and likely will never meet) seems like a way of staying in a fantasy-land when it comes to relationships. 3
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