boblob Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) I have made 0 approach. 0 kisses. 0 sex. 0 dates. never was in club. Anywhere apart school n job. How much do i lost in life already? It appears that I lost 'large portion of enjoyable life'. Even girls appear no longer attractive for me , compared as I was in teens. In fact i wanted sex alot in teens, but I had made none, because I always afraid what parents will tell. Obviously I always felt very filtered and restricted at school. I even have not imaged how I could bring girl to parents house. Edited October 18, 2020 by boblob
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 1 minute ago, boblob said: In fact i wantes sex alot in teens, but I had made none, because I always afraid what parents will tell. Obviously I always felt very filtered and restricted at school. I even have not imaged how I could bring girl to parents house. Where did you grow up? It sounds like you are depressed.
Author boblob Posted October 18, 2020 Author Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Where did you grow up? It sounds like you are depressed. In latvia. Entire life was school - computer. Later job - computer. AL time living at parents. Edited October 18, 2020 by boblob
schlumpy Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 The object of your life is just sex? You are not looking for a relationship? Kids and a nagging wife don't interest you? How much money do you have? You try to score at the local bars and pay for a hotel room. You can get online and hook up with a honey. Look into sex cruises. That should sate your appetite. There are lots of outlets for sex. What are you limiting yourself to?
Author boblob Posted October 18, 2020 Author Posted October 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, schlumpy said: The object of your life is just sex? You are not looking for a relationship? Kids and a nagging wife don't interest you? How much money do you have? You try to score at the local bars and pay for a hotel room. You can get online and hook up with a honey. Look into sex cruises. That should sate your appetite. There are lots of outlets for sex. What are you limiting yourself to? My primary question is 'How much do i lost in life already?' I even have no clue how to search for relationships. I cant even image how to bring her to parents house. Kids never iterested. Few months wage, all I have. Never was at bars hotel myself. Nobody reads n response me online. I am afraid now fornication, while at teens it appeared like a joke. I also i afraid, that I would prefer to date virgin & 18-20 years old.
TheBlingRing14 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 OP, I have the utmost in empathy toward you. I was much older than you were my first time. And, I chose to have my first time with a gentleman who it was also his first time. He also was very, very inexperienced, like you. Maybe not QUITE as inexperienced. But, he had only had one kiss prior to me. Didn't date much, no relationships, etc. So, I completely understand and empathize. In fact, I felt downright scandalous, as I was oodles more experienced than he was, just by virtue of having kissed a bunch of guys in my life. Here is what I will tell you. Because I think both things can be true. Yes, it's awkward at first....yes it takes time getting used to, but once I/we hit our stride....I really did have a feeling of regret, of wishing I had started things sooner. I did have this feeling of "Man I wasted a lot of my earlier years that I could have been doing THIS?!" That said, I am glad it happened the way it happened, in the way it happened, and with the person it happened with. I thought back to all the guys I COULD have had those experiences with (I had offers) and was so glad that I didn't do it with them. I won't presume to know how he felt, but I do think he was also glad to have that experience with someone he knew to be clean, knew was completely unjudgmental, who came into it with no pre-conceived notions, no previous comparisons, and so on. We were on relatively even playing ground....aside from the kissing. I am not suggesting you go out and get it done right now. I am also not suggesting you wait another 5 years, either. As I said, I think both things can be true.....you could wait and think that you wished you didn't wait. You could also think, I am glad it happened when it did in the way it did. And both can be completely valid. I'm happy to help or answer questions for you in any way I can. 1
schlumpy Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 8 minutes ago, boblob said: My primary question is 'How much do i lost in life already?' It depends on your personality and what you have accomplished in life as to whether you missed out anything. The trend for marriage today is to wait until you are near thirty or over. Have those people missed out? I imagine I can find someone to say just that. So you want to meet someone just like you and do what? You want to date? You want to just have sex? You want to marry and have children? A combination of all of them? Your only recourse is to advertise online or go through an intermediary that willing to matchmake for you. I assure you there are women just like you out there but you have to take a risk to find them. I guess that women who are religious are a prospect. I'm not sure how much of a prospect for virginity they are. Mail order brides are an option but risky. You have to make a decision and then pursue it. Good luck
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 Life can “start “ at any age. It’s never too late to get out there and start dating. You have friends you hang out with? Maybe living in your own will kick start new adventures. It seems being under your parents roof is holding you back some. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 5 hours ago, boblob said: In latvia. Entire life was school - computer. Later job - computer. AL time living at parents. Ok, that's a good job. Do people usually live at home until they are married there? Do you want dating/sex or have you just given up?
Lotsgoingon Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 Believe it or not, 27 is still young. Here's what you have to realize: that there are women out there who are exactly like you. And they too are feeling hopeless--in their case, about meeting guys. Be open to meeting one of these women. But even women who have some experience don't necessarily rule out a partner because they are inexperienced. There is a funny thing about life. People are always wondering if it's "too late" to do this or that. The truth is ... once you meet someone, let's say it's at 37. I know, you wanna meet someone sooner than that. But go with my scenario here. You meet someone at 37. You and the person really click ... You know what happens? Your brain will experience such joy that it almost wipes out all those years of pain. I can't tell you the number of people I know (I know a lot of divorced folks) who felt like it was too late to meet someone ... and that dating was too painful and disappointment. Then they meet a good person and bam! ... instantaneously all that old hurt gets pushed to the side. Be open to that possibility. There is nothing wrong with being 27 and not having dated or had sex. 1
Jazzart Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) I wasnt with a girl until I was 29 or so. When the other person expressed interest, I was actually in denial that she actually liked me.. It was weird. Anyway, Make sure youre on multiple dating apps. You will match with some people....depends on your standards though. I mostly match with people I wouldnt be into dating. But id you want to get out and try this, the apps should help. If it werent for apps or the internet, I would have never had a GF Edited October 19, 2020 by Jazzart
mortensorchid Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 I never cease to be amazed at how many people out there are still virgins at ages when you wouldn't expect them to be. Then again, people have come down on me pretty hard for my opinions on this forum, and I have been accused of thinking like a woman on things, etc. But I digress... So you are a 27 year old virgin and ... What else? Are you in your career? Do you have other interests and friends? What makes you you? Hopefully a lot of other things. This is not the only area you are lacking in, is it? If not that's okay, consider other avenues. But on this front, I was in a similar situation years ago. I had met this guy online at the dawn of internet dating and we got together. He was a good guy, we were a very odd couple (he was 6 years my junior, Jewish, liberal, and a west coast transplant living in Ohio attending law school) but it was fun. He told me that he was 22 at the time and he'd never had sex. And he was hoping I would be the one to take his V card. I was a bit surprised. Why me? He said he felt comfortable enough with me. So... we did. We qere together for about 6 months then had an amicable split. I talk to him once a year on Easter Sunday - he's married and lives in Chicago now. The moral of the story? Find a woman who will be understanding and willing. I admit, I am an odd duck in many ways, but I am also a good person (or try to at least not be a snob) and am nice to everyone because they deserve it rather than to be abused. So that's my advice on this. 2
snowboy91 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 OP you've come in here a few times lamenting that you've never dated, had sex, etc. To me it appears you think about this a lot and avoid taking steps toward changing that because you're stuck in a habit of feeling like you're restricted. You say you're feeling like you've lost a large part of enjoyable life. Are you saying that sex or a relationship is the only way to enjoy life? You also say a lot of your life is spent at a computer. Is that something you're happy with? Do you want to change that? 1
Author boblob Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 I have registered on badoo. For a few weeks. I have no traffic at all. Nobody even reads my messages.
ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 OP I am 36 and in the same situation. What I can suggest is you look at your life as whole and do not fixate on one aspect of it. When you look around certain things are seen as normal, perhaps being a virgin at 27 is not normal but its not wrong either. You cant let that fact define the person you are and how you think others see you. Yes, ladies do pick up on inexperience. How much this bothers you is up to you. In terms of life, I do not think you have missed out on anything to be honest if you are happy as to where you are in life and where you ultimately want to go. The one thing I have learnt is dating does not make you but it can break your spirit.
Dork Vader Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 18 hours ago, boblob said: In latvia. Entire life was school - computer. Later job - computer. AL time living at parents. Well you can stay focused on the feeling that you wasted time or move forward with your life and stop wasting it. You do sound depressed and if that's the case I'd suggest you see a doctor about it. There are plenty of attractive women out there at your age. There is no reason you can't find someone. Start dating, it will be a learning curve no doubt about that. But you have to start some place.. Ideally you want to build relationships with women. Women want to have fun.. 1
Be Cool Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 1st thing you need to do ASAP is hit the gym, hire a PT if you can afford it. And let the rest of the matter gradually and very slowly resolve itself.
ZA Dater Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 25 minutes ago, Be Cool said: 1st thing you need to do ASAP is hit the gym, hire a PT if you can afford it. And let the rest of the matter gradually and very slowly resolve itself. With due respect I fail to see how this is going to help the OP. You can have the arms of a tree trunk, does not mean ladies are going to want to sleep with you.
Miss Spider Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 IMO you didn’t miss that much. If you want to find out, make more approaches
Author boblob Posted October 20, 2020 Author Posted October 20, 2020 6 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: IMO you didn’t miss that much. If you want to find out, make more approaches I think I MISS MUCH, because not to have sex in teens is something I dont want to remember and return to that time. It was very horrible to not have sex in teens.
schlumpy Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 4 hours ago, boblob said: I think I MISS MUCH, because not to have sex in teens is something I dont want to remember and return to that time. It was very horrible to not have sex in teens. But you can't get it back Blob. Your only recourse is to let it go and ask yourself what you learned. Then use the knowledge to modify yourself physically and mentally for the future. You are still young. Many people get divorced in their fifties and restart their lives. Think about how much easier that is for you. Move out of the parents basement and make yourself available.
Be Cool Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 19 hours ago, boblob said: I think I MISS MUCH, because not to have sex in teens is something I dont want to remember and return to that time. It was very horrible to not have sex in teens. I agree that you missed SO MUCH. That's a fact and there's no sugarcoating for it. But you can always start all over again NOW. That's another fact.
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 22, 2020 Posted October 22, 2020 You have so much life left! You have your career underway. That is solid. Now you can go for the rest. Go for it! Who cares what did or didn't happen in the past? Today is today. You're 100% free. No responsibilities. Go out. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. There is literally no th my stopping you from enjoying your life. 1
Author boblob Posted October 22, 2020 Author Posted October 22, 2020 5 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said: You have so much life left! You have your career underway. That is solid. Now you can go for the rest. Go for it! Who cares what did or didn't happen in the past? Today is today. You're 100% free. No responsibilities. Go out. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. There is literally no th my stopping you from enjoying your life. I actually have made no career. Never wanted it too.
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2020 Posted October 22, 2020 (edited) No 18 year old is going to want to date a 27 year old with no career who lives at home. When you were focusing on your formal academic education you failed to educate yourself about adult socialization. You are probably good with computers but not so go with people. You need to improve your skills at personal interaction if you hope to find a sexual partner. I'm not sure how you would go about that in Latvia. Do you have any buddies from school or work that you can hang out with? You say you have never been to bar alone. If it's safe to do so, try that. Wanting a virgin because you are one is not the answer. If you were virgin by religious choice, maybe. But her, finding a woman who has more of a clue about what she is doing will be helpful. She can guide you. I'm no OLD expert but I suspect using more then 1 platform is a good idea. If you are not getting anybody to respond on Badoo I have to ask what you put out there. Do you have a good, flattering photo that makes you look handsome? If not, get one & post it. Is your profile interesting? What else do you talk about besides work? You have to make a woman want to contact you. What's in it for her to pick you? When you answer that you should be able to attract more people. Edited October 22, 2020 by d0nnivain
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