Jesstada Posted October 17, 2020 Posted October 17, 2020 I'm probably a bit overly anxious because I just broke off with someone a month ago. I had a date in the park and it seemed to go well (I think?) but sometimes when I think it went well it doesn't go both ways. We had really good conversations, laughed a bit but it started getting cold and there was nowhere else to go (thanks covid) so we went back to his place nearby. There we hung out for 3-4 hours just talking, it was at good pace and the conversation doesn't dry up, laughed/joked, total of 6 hours date (unplanned). We have very similar personalities and belief. He mentioned that one time after a date he texted a girl to let him know after she gets home but she never replied and he took that as rejection. After I left, he texted me the same but didn't say the typical I had a good time etc etc. I replied and we chatted for a bit but not much (had a long date already). He had to do some work at home too. I jokingly apologized for taking so much of his working time and he said it was his pleasure and I should do that more sometimes. I'm not sure if he's just being cheeky and polite. He also initiated 0% physical contact, not even the friendly ones. He walked me to the bus stop but didn't wait with me (I said he didn't have to).  The next day no text, the day after he replied to my post on facebook, talked a bit but not much beyond that either. Does this mean the chemistry is lacking?  Â
Ami1uwant Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 It’s hard to say what it is or what feeling there are.  yiu can have good conversation but nit feel something.  Sometimes it takes a few dates.  you should have a second date and see what happens.
Watercolors Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Jesstada said: Does this mean the chemistry is lacking? Like Ami1uwant wrote, it's really hard to predict chemistry after one date. Usually, chemistry takes time to develop. Hopefully he asks you out again so you can see if there is real chemistry between you two. Good luck! Â
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 4 hours ago, Jesstada said: I'm probably a bit overly anxious because I just broke off with someone a month ago. I had a date in the park and it seemed to go well (I think?) but sometimes when I think it went well it doesn't go both ways. We had really good conversations, laughed a bit but it started getting cold and there was nowhere else to go (thanks covid) so we went back to his place nearby. There we hung out for 3-4 hours just talking, it was at good pace and the conversation doesn't dry up, laughed/joked, total of 6 hours date (unplanned). We have very similar personalities and belief. He mentioned that one time after a date he texted a girl to let him know after she gets home but she never replied and he took that as rejection. After I left, he texted me the same but didn't say the typical I had a good time etc etc. I replied and we chatted for a bit but not much (had a long date already). He had to do some work at home too. I jokingly apologized for taking so much of his working time and he said it was his pleasure and I should do that more sometimes. I'm not sure if he's just being cheeky and polite. He also initiated 0% physical contact, not even the friendly ones. He walked me to the bus stop but didn't wait with me (I said he didn't have to).  The next day no text, the day after he replied to my post on facebook, talked a bit but not much beyond that either. Does this mean the chemistry is lacking?   So you guys didn't say anything about a second date? He may just not be very good at this sort of thing. 1
Author Jesstada Posted October 18, 2020 Author Posted October 18, 2020 34 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: So you guys didn't say anything about a second date? He may just not be very good at this sort of thing. Not explicitly. Should I just ask if he would be interested to?Â
Watercolors Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 11 minutes ago, Jesstada said: Not explicitly. Should I just ask if he would be interested to? Well you added him to your Facebook, correct? So, he can easily instant message you there to ask you out again. Wait and see if he will.Â
escapedmelody Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 It's hard to say, but the fact that he reached out on social media is good. You should tell him that you had a good time and see what he says. Maybe he's waiting for you to mention that you had fun so he knows that he won't get rejected when he asks you out again.
Mrin Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) I don't spend 6 hours (or anything close to that) on a first date with a woman unless I'm either into her or see her as a friend prospect. I also rarely ever kiss on the first date and certainly wouldn't if a woman came back to my place and wasn't getting all handsy. I'm a big believer in being a gentleman and making sure that a woman feels safe when she puts herself in a vulnerable position with me (e.g. coming back to my place). Now, if she gets all touchy with me then it is game on. Ha! Edited October 18, 2020 by Mrin 2
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 If he's not asking you out again he's not interested. Unfortunately, one and done dates are common even if it went well. Keep in mind, he's meeting and talking to others Do not drag out first meetings like this. Never go to a stranger's house on the first meeting. Next time keep the first meeting brief and go home if it's getting cold out. 2
poppyfields Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: If he's not asking you out again he's not interested. Unfortunately, one and done dates are common even if it went well. Keep in mind, he's meeting and talking to others Do not drag out first meetings like this. Never go to a stranger's house on the first meet. This^.  Edited October 18, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Fletch Lives Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 Only time will tell. I'd give it a week and see if anything develops.
poppyfields Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Only time will tell. I'd give it a week and see if anything develops. Just out of curiosity Fletch, what happens after a week if nothing develops? She moves on? From what, they had one meet. OP, no need to wait around, a week or whatever.  Continue meeting other men now. If the guy reaches out for another date, fab. If not, so be.    Edited October 18, 2020 by poppyfields 1
Fletch Lives Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 There is nothing wrong with curricular / multi dating. What I'm suggesting is you not write off a guy if he does not ask for a date within three days or something.
smackie9 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 You have to throw the guy a bone when showing interest.....like accepting him wanting to wait with you at the bus stop, and saying how much you enjoyed the date then add you would like to do it again soon. Then give his arm a touch, and smile. Just those simple moves should get you results. If he doesn’t respond/ react to those moves then he ain’t all that interested. 1
Recommended Posts