Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2020 Posted October 17, 2020 On 10/15/2020 at 5:15 PM, Confoosedgal said: that was Strike 2. Then, this is Strike 3. He gets three Bozo rewards points.. This entitles him to one free swift kick in the butt right out the door for good. 1 1
poppyfields Posted October 17, 2020 Posted October 17, 2020 39 minutes ago, SumGuy said: True but this guys mentality / behavior seems so bros before hoes, figure that is the most likely. His "girlfriend" is just a person he presumes he can have sex with after drinking and going to the strip club with his bros. Ok.
princessaurora Posted October 17, 2020 Posted October 17, 2020 Friend, fwb, boyfriend, it doesn't really matter what you think he is. This dude is toxic and will only continue to strip away at your self worth. Walk away now. 1
Author Confoosedgal Posted October 19, 2020 Author Posted October 19, 2020 Sooo I received a lot of mixed advice on this. My brother who I'm very close to actually felt like I was being "too hard on the guy" and to "cut him some slack" as the relationship is very new, and that my "expectations are too high for someone with no dating experience." (However, my brother is a notorious alcoholic and cheater so I'm not sure if he was the best one to go to for advice either lol) The reason why I put up with some of my boyfriends behavior is because he's never had a real relationship before so I forgave him for a lot of things that I wouldn't have allowed other boyfriends to ever do. And, there's obviously a lot of other positive qualities that have kept me here for this long. It's just the red flags and issues that have popped up in the last 2 1/2 weeks that have deeply concerned me. But, they are not exactly small flags either. Long story short, I broke up with him the other night. He asked to come over and talk about it real quick where I shared all of my concerns, and he felt like instead of trying to talk it out and work at it, I'm going straight to "dumping him and running away." I do kind of feel like I absolutely did that too. But, truthfully, it felt like I was dating a 14-year-old kid who didn't know any better. I do NOT think he as autistic or mentally ill. Although the suggestion of it was kind of funny to be honest.... I 100% think he's incredibly immature and lacks the necessary skills and knowledge needed in relationships. That's all really. And, maybe (as one commenter stated) I don't have enough patience and strength to guide him through while I suffer the constant emotional punches when he doesn't call me until HOURS after our scheduled date or when he decides he wants to go to a Titty bar before we go out for dinner, or when he leaves me alone for hours with his niece just because he doesn't want to deal with her either and would rather have me deal with her, or when he shows up drunk to outings or shows up late because he was drinking. But, it's over now so I'll live and learn! 3
HadMeOverABarrel Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Confoosedgal said: my "expectations are too high for someone with no dating experience." How is this YOUR problem? It's not. You're not getting what you need regardless of the reasons/excuses/mental gymnastics. NEXT! Don't sell yourself so short. 4 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 Lack of experience is not an excuse for being an inconsiderate Bozo. This is a character flaw, so don't think with time and patience you'll turn this sows ear (or horse's ass in this case) into a silk purse. 2
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 14 hours ago, Confoosedgal said: Sooo I received a lot of mixed advice on this. My brother who I'm very close to actually felt like I was being "too hard on the guy" and to "cut him some slack" as the relationship is very new, and that my "expectations are too high for someone with no dating experience." (However, my brother is a notorious alcoholic and cheater so I'm not sure if he was the best one to go to for advice either lol) .... WIth your caveat, it seems compared to your brother this guy is Prince Charming. Not meaning to offend you on your brother but suspect, as believe you do, his perspective is skewed. I would say you lack of dating experience is setting you up to accept guys like this and being treated as an after thought. Guys like this may not be uncommon but his level of engagement is the bare minimum...it can of course go lower...he could start asking to borrow money...show up for a booty call at our door drink (wait, he may have done that already)...etc. Think you made the right decision in letting this one go. You were actually pretty understanding of the guy. There are plenty of men who do not spend the majority of their off work moments drunk, or any time at strip clubs, who find time with their girlfriend fun and would not prioritize after work drinks over extra time with their girlfriend...heck even in the rough and tumble world men (not boys) get that a man would rather be with his woman than at some sausage fest...it's a sign he has a good one. 1
kendahke Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) 16 hours ago, Confoosedgal said: My brother who I'm very close to actually felt like I was being "too hard on the guy" and to "cut him some slack" as the relationship is very new, and that my "expectations are too high for someone with no dating experience." (However, my brother is a notorious alcoholic and cheater so I'm not sure if he was the best one to go to for advice either lol) This is him grooming you to be an enabler, which you are not obliged to be, just because he recognizes a fellow alcoholic in this guy. You're right--he's not the best one from whom to seek advice. Your boyfriend's previous lack of dating experience is not your problem to fix, nor is it your duty to stick with him and his drinking problem. Edited October 19, 2020 by kendahke
Miss Spider Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 think it’s rude he didn’t ask if you wanna go with
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