boymommy Posted October 15, 2020 Posted October 15, 2020 (edited) On 10/14/2020 at 5:15 AM, elaine567 said: Read Mo's last dating thread. How to turn off an interested man in about 5 easy lessons. Act disinterested and difficult to read on the date. Refuse to extend the date as you have a cake to bake. Decide to act "hard to get" to not make it too easy for him... Decide to choose sleep over planning a second date. "Too tired" Being "too busy" to fit a date in. THEN deciding to act interested, but by that time he had gone MIA and given up... That sounds like something straight from one of those dumb dating game books where you have to play hard to get to get a guy to like you...like that that book "hes just not that into you." OP if you have read those books PLEASE throw that crap away. The main issue with those books is that they attract guys who are AVOIDANT or just want sex or are very immature..not anyone you'd really want to have a relationship with! Also, date guys your own age or older. Its been my experience that men's maturity level is different then women..so a younger man is going to be drastically BELOW what you are looking for as far as quality in a partner. I am 37 (was 33 when I got divorced and started dating again) and I mostly dated guys in their low to mid 40's because that's what was out there. I didn't encounter a whole lot of men in their 30's (they are primarily still married!) so what I found was either 20's (too young) or 40-50's. My boyfriend is 10 years older then me and our maturity level is about equal believe it or not! I actually encountered that a lot where I would find men in their 40's to be more on par with me, despite the age difference. So OP, maybe you are looking for an older man...upper 40's to 50's? And stop the dating games. Just be yourself. Act interested. Don't play games. Edited October 15, 2020 by boymommy
kismetkismet Posted October 15, 2020 Posted October 15, 2020 From the post linked above I get the sense that you want to be actively chased. Not just that you want to make sure the guy is putting in some effort, but that you want the guy to try to wear you down while you feign disinterest. Guys that do that are typically narcissists who care more about that chase than actually being in a healthy relationship with you. Those guys don't really care about your feelings (they don't even care how you feel about them), so much as they want to have you as their prize. And once they've worn you down, the chase is over and they have to find new games to play to prove how important they are - ie emotional abuse, putting you down, putting you 'in your place' etc. There's a lot of good advice above. I also suggest that you work on being vulnerable with other people. You seem intent on keeping up a cool girl facade, while actually being quite cold and closed off. Maybe you want to be the 'dream girl' without ever having to put any work in or take any emotional risks. That will never get you into a healthy relationship because it makes it damned near impossible to have a real, genuine connection with someone. 6
boymommy Posted October 15, 2020 Posted October 15, 2020 2 hours ago, kismetkismet said: From the post linked above I get the sense that you want to be actively chased. Not just that you want to make sure the guy is putting in some effort, but that you want the guy to try to wear you down while you feign disinterest. Guys that do that are typically narcissists who care more about that chase than actually being in a healthy relationship with you. Those guys don't really care about your feelings (they don't even care how you feel about them), so much as they want to have you as their prize. And once they've worn you down, the chase is over and they have to find new games to play to prove how important they are - ie emotional abuse, putting you down, putting you 'in your place' etc. There's a lot of good advice above. I also suggest that you work on being vulnerable with other people. You seem intent on keeping up a cool girl facade, while actually being quite cold and closed off. Maybe you want to be the 'dream girl' without ever having to put any work in or take any emotional risks. That will never get you into a healthy relationship because it makes it damned near impossible to have a real, genuine connection with someone. Damn...nailed it! Couldn't have said it better myself!
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