SumGuy Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 (edited) double post Edited October 14, 2020 by SumGuy
kendahke Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Hpchic said: Her husband has been best friends with him since they were kids, they just happen to work together as well so he knows sides of him way better than his wife ever will. I'd put more weight behind his observations than hers. Edited October 14, 2020 by kendahke
kendahke Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 (edited) 37 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Yet how many times do we hear stories of women who attract only the wrong men? The "wrong men" usually have no trouble pursuing, and in fact may not take no for an answer. and he's not even asking her once, let alone enough times to require answering no a bazillion times. Quote Yes he has real confidence problems here in this situation with this person, but otherwise he could be great. Oh, you know the guy, or are you projecting? He's not that interested. If he was, he'd have mentioned something to his boy and he'd have told his wife who would have told OP. She has yet to say that's happened. Edited October 14, 2020 by kendahke
SumGuy Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, kendahke said: and he's not even asking her once, let alone enough times to require answering no a bazillion times. Oh, you know the guy, or are you projecting? He's not that interested. If he was, he'd have mentioned something to his boy and he'd have told his wife who would have told OP. She has yet to say that's happened. I don't know the guy, but neither do you. That's the whole point. Taking one trait of his and projecting out his whole personality and desirability as a date...whilst forgetting the fun actually had at the party...seems short sighted to me. To me it is not really a question if he is interested, it's a BS tautology if he is "really" interested he will ask. It's a question of how much of a problem for her is it if he is interested but does not have the confidence to ask. Everything he did at the party (as described) screams interest to me. People can be interested and too afraid to ask....happens all the time, read about it all the time here. Am I projecting? No. Do I come across as shy or afraid to put it on the line? I am pretty much the opposite of this guy, so trying to do the opposite and not project me on to him. The comment about he maybe great otherwise is simply related to the situation where some women can only seem to attract bad boys or emotionally unavailable men or toxic men, etc. Some women who get out of that by giving the shy guys a chance and, gasp, even take the initiative, (as all those other "wrong men" are not know for being shy). 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 There's something weird about this...the husband kept saying in front of Rob that other guys would be great for you but then he pushed Rob to ask you out? This husband was making you look desperate. I'm not a guy but if I were Rob I would be SO weirded out. What is this husband's problem? Plus it's so obvious you guys were fixed up from the get-go. He didn't just wind up at your table. I'd be dropping the whole thing if it were me and I'd be disgusted with my friend and her husband for making me look like some sort of freak who couldn't get a date to save her life. What is wrong with people...
elaine567 Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 4 hours ago, Hpchic said: Her husband has been best friends with him since they were kids, they just happen to work together as well My guess the husband didn't think you were right or good enough for his friend, he may have communicated that to Rob. OR Rob had already told him he was not really interested, hence the pointing out of other options. All very well to get on well at a party, but getting on well does not necessarily equate to wanting to date. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted October 14, 2020 Posted October 14, 2020 (edited) On 10/12/2020 at 7:45 PM, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Well, my initial thought is that the husband knows something about Rob he doesn't necessarily like so he doesn't want you getting involved with Rob.... Do you know for sure Rob's definitely single? Is he maybe known as someone to screw women over or something? You know, (and I realize I'm very late to the party) this had been my very first thought too. But then why would he have told Rob to go ask her out, after the "this guy and that guy and that guy would be great for you" stuff? Does that seem absolutely strange to anyone else? The whole thing is just so odd and I think it was wrong of this couple to interfere. Even if Rob had been interested, this amount of interference was bound to weird the guy out. I'd be annoyed with this couple if I were Hpchic. None of it was really called for and it all seems so strange. It's reminding me of the hot tub scene in the remake of National Lampoon's Vacation where the father comes up to the kid and his new girlfriend. Not literally but that same totally odd "WTH are you doing?" vibe. Edited October 14, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl 1
Author Hpchic Posted October 15, 2020 Author Posted October 15, 2020 13 hours ago, elaine567 said: My guess the husband didn't think you were right or good enough for his friend, he may have communicated that to Rob. OR Rob had already told him he was not really interested, hence the pointing out of other options. All very well to get on well at a party, but getting on well does not necessarily equate to wanting to date. I don’t think he thought I wasn’t good enough, maybe vice versa.
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