I had a bad experience with his friends and he wants me to try again this weekend?

[smackie9]

I'm not trying to insult you but I am getting a sense of low self esteem....you are a people pleaser, you don't speak up, you fear repercussions, you worry what people think of you, you are dating a guy who's attractiveness is much lesser than yours, is rude, has no manners, is disrespectful, and other ed flags you don't care to mention because you know what w are going to tell you....dump this guy, you can do so much better.....what is your fear? being alone? this is the best you think you can do?

 

Edited October 14, 2020 by smackie9

[Watercolors]

12 hours ago, Confoosedgal said:

Either way, I'm taking a break from them for a few weeks and gonna suggest a public setting for the next hangout. But, these comments have really made me wonder about some other areas where he's been lacking in social skills.

The most important part of this whole situation is that you allowed this to happen without any repercussions or consequences. You allowed your boyfriend to act like a complete douche bag to you, while it was happening. It's during these situations, where you need to actively shut down such a**h***rly behavior. For example, once you were abandoned by all of the adults, you only briefly walked into the kitchen hoping your presence would somehow shift your boyfriend's work convo instead to him introducing you, as if on cue of seeing you. But, he completely ignored you when you walked into the kitchen.

That moment, would have been the perfect moment to pull him out of the kitchen, TELL HIM what his actions made you feel "I feel like you're ignoring me the way you just left me behind like that. Can you please introduce me to your friends?" And see how he would react. If he got mad, then he's a bad boyfriend. A mature boyfriend would never leave behind his girlfriend like your boyfriend left you behind. To fend for yourself. That's rude. NO self-respecting woman would put up with that nonsense. 

I would suggest working on your self-esteem and speaking up as its happening as retroactively it comes across as you being passive aggressive. But you have to learn to stop being a doormat and speak up for yourself. Otherwise, you will continue to have this same problem with all of your relationships. 

[Acacia98]

12 hours ago, Confoosedgal said:

Yes, this was her! She would NOT leave me alone and constantly interrupted her mother the few times she tried to engage me in conversation. . But, after her daughter consistently talked over her, interrupted her, or literally stood in front of her, the mother became annoyed and left the room too. And, that was the other strange thing. Why not tell your child to say, "Excuse me?" To not interrupt the adults when they talk? The mother was completely passive and seemed to have no idea how to tell her daughter what to do say/not to say. I thought either they let the daughter get away with everything or maybe she was too embarrassed to say anything in front of me? that kid was literally superglued to my side and the parents just ASSUMED I was cool with it. Just because I'm being polite, doesn't mean I actually want to be around the kid.

This was actually the thing that stood out to me in the whole story: the weird dynamic between the parents and their kid. Seems like all is not well  in that household. I'm guessing the mum is overwhelmed and close to breaking point and the kid is desperate for attention because she's essentially being neglected. And the dad... who knows?

 

4 hours ago, Fletch Lives said:

So this is very simple - you don't have to be tied to your boyfriend 24/7, and you are not interested in babysitting. So just don't go to that friends house, let him go alone -  do something else alone or with your friends or family. 

You have to learn to set boundaries.

I would not pick a fight over it though - so you don't like his friends.........this happens often.....so just don't see them. Simple. No big deal, no baby-mama-drama.

This is what I'd probably do. And the relationship wouldn't last much longer. The boyfriend sounds a tad too self-centered.