Dating when you don't feel attractive

[Heatemyheart89]

I’ve had a few relationships in my life , but I’ve been single but dating for a couple of years.  For a year and a half my love life has not been very good . I’ve had two casual relationships and just knock backs.

I asked a guy from work out and he was not interested after one date . Another guy  from work asked me to meet up and I thought it was a date . I’ve now found out it wasn’t even a date according to him .as he has never looked at me in that way. 

Apart from the guy I asked out , the guys who ask me out show initial interest but then it transpires they aren’t attracted to me / don’t like me in some way . Every single one has liked women who look the polar opposite of me, one had an ex who was a model as  he made it very clear I did not match up .

I’m tired and I just feel like no one is going to like me enough for a relationship .

I am 30, I am in decent shape and do take care of myself . I am not sure what else I can do .I feel like an epic failure and I am started to feel jealous of other women.

Any advice going forwards to improve my self esteem?

Edited October 11, 2020 by Heatemyheart89

[Happy Lemming]

I'm not a fan of dating co-workers.  Very early in my professional career I learned to never "fish off the company pier".

That being said, what "social interactions" did you engage in prior to the pandemic.  Parties, activities, sports??  Did you put yourself "out there" in an attempt to meet people??

[Ruby Slippers]

Self-esteem is part internal, part external. There are things you can do to improve your external appearance in a way that's a genuine expression of your internal qualities. 

Focus on getting in touch with your sensuality, and this will inspire you to cultivate your appearance in a more sensual, attractive way. There are lots of YouTube videos and articles about how to get in touch with your feminine, sensual side. 

One of the easiest ways to give your looks a boost is to have a nice hairstyle. Surveys show that a woman can improve her looks dramatically by improving her hair/hairstyle. Ever notice how when you leave the hair salon with a nice 'do, you get lots more looks and attention? Eat well, take care of your skin, dress nicely in clothes you love.

I believe just about any woman can be a hottie with the right mindset. I know a woman at work who's like 300 pounds, but she comes across as very sexy and smoldering because she has a great attitude, takes good care of herself, is flirty and sweet. 

[smackie9]

Attitude...that's what is holding you back...if you are fun, flirty and positive it really doesn't matter what you look like...if guys had asked you out in the past, it has nothing to do with how you look..it's how you present yourself as a person. Even tho guys are physical creatures, they most certainly don't waste time on someone who's a debbie downer, or has no zest, spark or enthusiasm.