Asmera Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Ok, my "ex' or whatever the heck he is has been spending each and every weekend with me since we broke up! We broke up two months ago! Now he keeps telling me things like he really wants to be with me, I'm the one for him, etc., BUT, he just doesn't have any feelings for me! What? Why does he spend every weekend with me, call me, and email me all the time? Now he's been telling me he's moving to another state, just for the winter, and maybe longer if that's what happens. He says that he really wants to see if distance makes his heart grow fonder for me! No, he has nobody else. Last night we were talking and he brought it up that he may be moving for a while, and hopes his heart grows fonder , blah, blah, blah. I was upset (I still love him deeply) and asked him not to go. He got ticked off and said that I need to get my feelings in order, to move on with my life, to take care of myself, and that he's going to do what he's going to do. I am so tired of hearing him tell me he is leaving........when we were together all he said was that he was leaving, or moving out. I hung up the phone on him, which I've never done before and I didn't contact him at all today. he didn't contact me either. I am going to be stubborn and not contact him at all. How long will it be before he gets ahold of me? What game is he playing? HELP!!!!
magda Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Stop putting up with him. You know, there are guys out there that don't constantly threaten to leave? Unless you like that kind of disfunction..
johan Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 He's a moron. I've known people who would try to be something they aren't and say things they didn't mean just to squeeze out all the love their partner had to offer. I get the impression that's what he's up to. This is manipulation in the extreme. If it wasn't hurting you so much, you would probably get really pissed. In my opinion this guy is so clueless about love that he'll never be predictable or reliable. At least not until he's been beaten into submission by several heartbreaks. I think you're due to deliver one of those. Sorry.
wahaha1 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 This sounds too insecure for you... I think in his mind, he wants to break up with you, but habitually, he still need a companion to spend his weekend with.., that's why you two still hanging out after breakup... after his move, probably that's the end of the whole thing..., which maybe even better for you as you don't need to go thro' all these emotional rollar coaster ride anymore...
J Dub23 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 He wants to break up but is scared of what life is like without you....one of those "I dont want to be with you but I dont want anyone to have you either" scenarios. If you want to force him to make a decision for good, tell him he can either have ALL or NONE of you, but no more of this friends crap because he is leading you on and wasting your time when you should be healing and working on yourself. You need to ask yourself, and be honest to your heart...are you allowing him to stick around because you hope he'll take you back? Do you really want to be with someone who is so wishy-washy about giving you their 100% unconditional love?
Author Asmera Posted October 14, 2005 Author Posted October 14, 2005 I appreciate the help! I go back and forth from really wanting to be with him to not. It's difficult because he throws me some crumbs now and then........I do want the whole cake, which he keeps telling me I MAY someday get. The day after he broke up with me, two months ago, he called me four times! I think he's the one who needs to check his feelings. What should I do in the meantime? I am going crazy! I miss him so much and still love him. It's so hard letting go!
Razorback05 Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 First of all you need to realize that you are enabling his behavior by being accepting of it. He does it because it works for him. Let his words of manipulation fall upon deaf ears. Be aware, though, that when he senses that you are truly moving on, he will make one last-ditch attempt to seize control of you again. If you cut contact with him, you will be strong and clear-minded enough to see it for what it is. Be strong. Demand more for yourself. God bless.
Art_Critic Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Cut him out of your life... When someone breaks up with you you accept it.. You seem to be having a tough time letting him make good on his word.. Breaking up
Author Asmera Posted October 14, 2005 Author Posted October 14, 2005 I just got off the phone with him.........he called me. We got into the biggest fight ever. I am crying my eyes out and I don't know why I fall for his crap every time. I asked him why he keeps pushing me away all of the time....after he pulls me in, of course I got no answer. I need all of your help Loveshackers! My email is [email protected] I am allowed to post it. I really appreciate each and every one of you who have helped me out!
Razorback05 Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Asmera, you need to cut all contact with this guy. He is leading you on and tugging at your heart strings because he is rewarded with an ego boost each and every time he does it. Take a stand for yourself. Don't only demand respect, but command it. You are in control of this situation alot more than you realize.
Author Asmera Posted October 14, 2005 Author Posted October 14, 2005 I agree with you Razorback (if I speeled that wrong, I am sorry!). He and I got into a fight last night and I told him he couldn't come over anymore. He was dumbfounded! He was hurt, confused, mad, and asked why! Like I'm a f-ing doormat or something for him to wipe his feet on. Then we fought about just being friends and he hung up on me. I cried but didn't call him back. Earlier he thought I'd hung up on him and he tried calling me back.......I was on the phone the whole time. He does enjoy all the "feel goods" he gets by making me cry and hearing me tell him I love him. He thrives on it. He's mixed up and I'm tired of being mixed up by him. I am going to hurt for a while and I do know that he will regret losing me. I am not a cheater, I talk nicely of those I am with at all times, and I treated him better than he's ever been treated. I guess I just wanted some of the same back! I don't even really have the urge to contact him, so I'm going to go with that! I just need to get a few of my things back now...........grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
wahaha1 Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 this guy is screwing up your life..., and he seems not caring much about your feeling... You definitely deserve something better. Do NC with this guy and take a break, you will be in a much better shape.
Author Asmera Posted October 15, 2005 Author Posted October 15, 2005 I have kinda been doing NC, but now it's gonna be full blown NC. He hates it too! HA HA HA! I kinda am at the point where I don't really care all that much anymore............tired of all of the BS. I know I'll have sad moments, but I'm coming here for support! You guys help me out so much! Thank you!!! I just wonder how many days it'll be before he contacts me. Jerk.
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