Being a man in a female-dominated workplace

[OnlyHonesty]

On 10/10/2020 at 3:49 PM, Caauug said:

Shyte tests.... They are testing your frame. How strong are you? Can I rattle him with a simple comment? AWALT and they can not help but do it.... Female nature. Use Google to educate yourself. 

 

Highly recommended!!! ^^^^^ Defuse...

Or you can right out insult them: " I find enough parasites' at work, I don't need another one at home" This is giving the shyte test right back to them, they will not like it... But it shuts them up..... 

Show your strength, and fire back or defuse. Show weakness and they flock in for the kill, I think you already know that....

Some time ago at work, a woman was rude to me so I took her aside, called her out without losing my temper, and told her off. She apologized and changed her behavior, not just with me, but with others too. I had people coming up to me thanking me because she was no longer rude to them. I wonder if she was doing it for attention though, because later it seems she started to try it on (I told her off for trying that too).

However, the next rude person was this guy, I could sense they would not listen to reason. Therefore, every time they were rude to me under the guise of a joke, I'd do the same back. When ever I did this they would laugh, but I could tell it was fake laughter...they did not like getting a taste of their own medicine and completely stopped the behavior in less than a day. Those seem to be good examples of your last comment.

[Acacia98]

22 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

@Trail BlazerI agree with you that I don’t like comments on appearance, particularly when they are being inappropriate or offensive.  But being short is just way more socially acceptable than being overweight, so is perceived as less of an insult. 

Is perceived as less of an insult by whom? The one doing the insulting or the one on the receiving end?

[Miss Spider]

@Acaciasociety, in general . Not necessarily the individuals 

Edited October 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Acacia98]

On 10/9/2020 at 11:10 AM, JasonLevi said:

How do I avoid answering questions about my relationship status at work? What would you say?

If you're dealing with annoying/obnoxious people, one way to go is to lie. Basically say you're dating someone even if you're not. And then kill the discussion after that. Another is to say yes to everything. Eventually, the person will realize you're tired of their questions and will take the hint (hopefully). A third option is to just look at the person with a blank face or ignore them.

(It goes without saying that if you're interacting with people who treat you with respect and whom you wouldn't mind becoming friends with, you can be honest with them.)

[Caauug]

On 10/22/2020 at 6:30 AM, Acacia98 said:

A third option is to just look at the person with a blank face

This was hard for me to learn, but I have mastered it at work. Someone asks something stupid or anything I do not want to answer I just stare at them, and focus on their face but like 3 feet behind the head.... Use a expressionless or concentrated stare..... Everyone now hates it when I do it so no more questions they don't really need to know.... 

[oppositeage26]

On 10/9/2020 at 1:10 AM, JasonLevi said:

I’m a guy in his 30s and have not been in a relationship for most of my life, not for lack of trying (but that’s a different story). I usually work in female-dominated environments. I don’t mind it, but what usually happens is that at some point early on, one of the women ask me in front of everyone whether I’m in a relationship. I say no I’m not. Then from that moment on, every few weeks, I have to deal with comments from female (and occasionally male) staff. Some examples of random unprovoked comments:

1.       I’d set you up with my friend, but you’re just too short for her.

2.       (After saying I spent the weekend learning about the stars) – No wonder you’re still single!

3.       (Male staff member asking other women in front of me) Would you date a guy his height?

4.       Hey you should join Tinder – I’d swipe right on you so you’d have at least one match.

5.       When was the last time you were able to get a date?

I usually handle these comments with some grace and humor, but it’s insulting, tiring and frankly unprofessional. I am now going to start a new job, and it looks likely to be female-dominated again. Please don’t respond with “Ignore them”, “rise above it”, “you shouldn’t care what people think” etc. I’m fully aware of that, but I would like to make it clear that talking about my private life is off limits.

I expect that someone will ask me whether I’m in a relationship, married etc, and I just want to ignore the question or change the subject. I don’t think it’s any of their business. I can’t imagine going up to a female staff member on her first week and asking if she’s in a relationship – it would result in sexual harassment claim before I could make my morning tea.

How do I avoid answering questions about my relationship status at work? What would you say?

 

**I once helped a female friend deal with being hit on at work in the financial sector, so I know men in particular sectors can be quite horrible too.

I've been asked at work if I had a bf  by girls usually. I just say no I don't want one even if I did I would say the same thing.

[ThereSheGoes]

Dude. This is so easy. Just say, it's complicated and change the subject. Just keep the answer vague.

Your first mistake was giving them an honest answer. Don't do that at the new place.

[Acacia98]

9 hours ago, Caauug said:

Everyone now hates it when I do it so no more questions they don't really need to know.... 

Excellent!

[CaliforniaGirl]

I don't know how you'd feel about doing this. I might "laughingly"/lightheartedly say "Now, you don't want me to have to go to HR about harrassment, do you? All these personal references to parts of my person? Let's not go there" and then one pointed look and walking away.

The reality is that you ARE being sexually harrassed.

I wouldn't go the route of making similar jabs back because they absolutely could go to HR themselves, if they decided they were offended. I mean...if they're this catty they just might.

You don't need to take that.