tokidoki Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 met a girl on a dating app - had a date last week and it went really well. We actually ended up sleeping together on the first date. I stayed at her place and left the next morning. It's been about 10 days since. I texted her a few days after to see if she wanted to hang again and she was keen, scheduled for tonight. I texted her this morning to confirm, but no answer. Should I chase or leave it? it's been a few hours.
d0nnivain Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 Leave it for now. If you don't hear from her about 1 hour before I'd send a text along the lines of Haven't gotten a confirmation from you for tonight. I'm assuming it's off. I won't be showing up unless I hear from you shortly. Then go about your business. 1
TheCharm Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 Bro let her breath maybe she is busy Anyway consider she might feel "bad" because she came in bed with you so quickly, so you got to help her on this, how? By pushing more so texting again eventually!
Wiseman2 Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 5 hours ago, davidsonramirez said: I texted her a few days after to see if she wanted to hang again and she was keen, scheduled for tonight. I texted her this morning to confirm, but no answer. Should I chase or leave it? it's been a few hours. Why did you wait 10 days to ask her out again? It's great she's up to going out again. Reconfirm a bit closer to the scheduled date time with the place, time etc. 2
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Why did you wait 10 days to ask her out again? It's great she's up to going out again. Reconfirm a bit closer to the scheduled date time with the place, time etc. He texted her a few days after their date....it's taken 10 days to nail something down.
poppyfields Posted October 7, 2020 Posted October 7, 2020 (edited) 10 hours ago, davidsonramirez said: met a girl on a dating app - had a date last week and it went really well. We actually ended up sleeping together on the first date. I stayed at her place and left the next morning. It's been about 10 days since. I texted her a few days after to see if she wanted to hang again and she was keen, scheduled for tonight. I texted her this morning to confirm, but no answer. Should I chase or leave it? it's been a few hours. So you had sex and texted a few days later (three?) and asked her out again. She said yes. All good so far. So what happened the week between when she accepted and today? Have you texted her, stayed in touch? My guess is because there was no communication from you for the last week, she lost the connection. Doesn't mean you have to text 24/7 or even every day. But one week is a long time to go without contacting her especially given the fact you had sex with her. If I'm mistaken about the timeline, my apologies. But that's how it reads, to me. If you really like her and still want this date tonight to hapoen, pick up the phone and call her. She may think you don't give a crap. It's what I would think. Edited October 7, 2020 by poppyfields
kendahke Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 13 hours ago, davidsonramirez said: Should I chase or leave it? Leave it for now... see if you hear from her within the next two days. If you don't, leave her be--she's not interested, despite how keen she may have seemed. People who are interested act like it.
poppyfields Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 1 hour ago, kendahke said: People who are interested act like it. I agree. That goes for the OP too. I'm sensing lukewarm at best. Which may be why she lost interest. A possibility.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 21 hours ago, davidsonramirez said: It's been about 10 days since. I texted her a few days after to see if she wanted to hang again and she was keen, scheduled for tonight. I texted her this morning to confirm, but no answer. Have you two been in touch much in the time between asking her out and today?
Calmandfocused Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 Op I think you made a few mistakes here. You wait 3 days to contact someone you had sex with? Then you wait until the day before the second date to communicate with her again? As a woman I would perceive this as very low interest from a man. Infact I would have drew a line under it 48 hours after no contact. That’s maybe just me but after this time the feelings of disconnect just kick in for me. If you want a woman to remain interested in you for a 10 day period where you don’t see each other, then you need to up your game. In the world of today’s dating there are many other suitors who will sweep in whilst your dithering and dawdling for a 10 day period. 3
poppyfields Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 4 hours ago, Calmandfocused said: Op I think you made a few mistakes here. You wait 3 days to contact someone you had sex with? Then you wait until the day before the second date to communicate with her again? As a woman I would perceive this as very low interest from a man. Infact I would have drew a line under it 48 hours after no contact. That’s maybe just me but after this time the feelings of disconnect just kick in for me. If you want a woman to remain interested in you for a 10 day period where you don’t see each other, then you need to up your game. In the world of today’s dating there are many other suitors who will sweep in whilst your dithering and dawdling for a 10 day period. +1
Mrin Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 14 hours ago, poppyfields said: I agree. That goes for the OP too. I'm sensing lukewarm at best. Which may be why she lost interest. A possibility. Totally agree poppy. Lesson for the future: if you have first sex with a woman and want to see her again then you should contact her the next day preferably in the AM. And ask her out again within 24 to 48 hours. When you go silent on a woman (especially after first sex) there are three things that can happen and all of them are bad. 1
elaine567 Posted October 8, 2020 Posted October 8, 2020 God forbid he appear clingy or needy... or actually show some interest...SMH. 1
Watercolors Posted October 9, 2020 Posted October 9, 2020 On 10/7/2020 at 12:18 PM, Wiseman2 said: Why did you wait 10 days to ask her out again? It's great she's up to going out again. Reconfirm a bit closer to the scheduled date time with the place, time etc. Yes, why wait 10 days to ask her out again? Back when I did OLD, if I didn't get a 2nd date invite the night of the 1st date or by 24-48 hours later, I wrote the guy off as "not interested" in another date with me. Maybe wait 10 days for her text response? OP, the next time you really like a woman after the 1st date, ask her out for a 2nd date while you're still on the 1st date. Don't wait nearly 2 weeks to do it next time.
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