My parent tells me: You always flaunted your [ girlfriends/boyfriends ] in front of me ever since you were a teenager!

[NuevoYorko]

28 minutes ago, Lookingforlasting said:

How would you feel if in the middle of an argument your same sex parent all of a sudden very angrily and kind of shouting said "You always flaunted your girlfriends/boyfriend's in front of me ever since you were a teenager!"

What was the argument about?

[Lookingforlasting]

I don't recall but nothing relevant as far as I can remember.

[NuevoYorko]

40 minutes ago, Lookingforlasting said:

I don't recall but nothing relevant as far as I can remember.

Without context, there is no way anyone can answer your question.   I guess we would just take it at face value:  your parent thought you were flaunting.  Why?  That is something only you and the parent you were arguing with would understand.

[Alpacalia]

It is not something that a reasonably rational parent would be concerned with (whether or not their child has a love interest or is flaunting it) but if your mother has issues emotionally and there are certain things that she finds upsetting (for whatever reason) leave her to her own devices as best as you can when it comes to her emotional health.

[Acacia98]

@OP, seeing as your grandfather molested your mother, it sounds possible to me that your grandmother might have viewed your mother with jealousy, as a competitor. Your mother's relationship with you probably mirrors her mother's relationship with her in some ways. So the weird comment and the competitive dynamic are what she knows from her childhood and teens. She's being the person her environment taught her to be. 

If my mum made that comment to me, it would be completely out of character. I think I'd feel weirded out and hurt. I'd definitely stop sharing the details of my personal life with her. I wouldn't bring my boyfriend around to be introduce him. And I would wonder where the comment came from. You see, my mum doesn't have a similar background to yours. But I think that if my mum had had similar childhood experiences to yours and I'd known about them, I would understand why she made the comment, and I would still distance myself from her.

Is it possible for you and your sister to make arrangements for someone to look after/ check on your mum so that you don't have to do it yourselves? It sounds like you have both been through a lot, and for the sake of your mental health and her current well-being, it may not be ideal for you to have to deal with her on a one-on-one basis.

[Lookingforlasting]

14 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

Without context, there is no way anyone can answer your question.   I guess we would just take it at face value:  your parent thought you were flaunting.  Why?  That is something only you and the parent you were arguing with would understand.

It was an unrelated criticism to cause harm/add fuel to fire but sincere based on previous comments and actions.

Edited January 16, 2023 by Lookingforlasting