Is my girlfriend being mentally abusive to me here? This relationship is driving me insane and I starting to really dislike her character.

[ashworth]

3 year RS and it's always been this way. Today I am seriously considering breaking up.

I booked a flight to see her 3 days ago after 2 months apart but I bailed the night before because we were fighting, it gave me anxiety and my gut was screaming do not go. She has a habit of kicking me out whenever we fight so I needed us to be on good terms before flying. She ended up blocking me. Day later she unblocks and we talk, we plan for me to go a week later. So my family ask why I didn't fly out and I tell them we were fighting so I bailed. I then got a lot of stress from my family for deciding to go again, some of it made sense. So I suggested to my girlfriend to enjoy her holiday and she can meet me in UK. She asks am I bailing again and I say no I am just getting a lot of stress here. Later I apologize for being stressed and I ask her to confirm the date we planned next week as ticket prices were rising. She did not reply all day so I ended up buying the tickets as we agreed that date and surely she wants to see me. 

I tell her I booked and she comes online and it's another stressful fight like the nights before..., would appreciate opinions/advice. Thanks in advance



 

Edited October 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed Imgur link

[robaday]

I am struggling with the same thing, I broke up with someone for very similar behavior recently and am still picking up the pieces. She is begging me back and keeps apologising and I really wish I could forgive her and give it another go but I can't. 

[Wiseman2]

Why is it long distance? More importantly why are you wasting time and money on this?

You need to end it. This has become pure drama. Why bother?

[d0nnivain]

I don't see abuse but I do see a lot of dysfunction, poor communication & little consideration for each other. 

If you are having the same fight over & over, that is a sign of underlying problems.  She seems to have immature knee jerk reactions -- kicking you out, blocking then unblocking.  All in all it's unhealthy & this isn't working. 

A relationship should not be this stressful.  You may need to re-evaluate everything 

[Ellener]

On 10/4/2020 at 9:06 AM, ashworth said:

it gave me anxiety and my gut was screaming do not go

Sounds like you are done, or I would be at least if that's how I felt about seeing someone.

They are your boundaries and only you can set them. Good luck!

[MsJayne]

What are you fighting about? What makes her so angry that she kicks you out? It sounds very toxic and unhealthy, which usually means it's time to go.