Robineds Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 I've been dating a girl for a few months now, it's been great she was really into me and felt completely natiral and easy. now because if virus we can't see eachother. She has said she will wait. That she's not going to go anywhere etc but I can't help feel something is different. It's like she is trying too hard? She says all the right things, calls me up to talk etc. It is playing on my mind and making me become anxious which in turn doesn't help my feelings towards the situation. How can I keep things alive? For her to not get bored of me?
FMW Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 Why can't you see each other because of the virus? If you've only been seeing each other "a few months" the virus was around from the beginning.
d0nnivain Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 I'm not following either. Did one of you have an exposure? If somebody is self quarantining out of caution, it's only 2 weeks. Why can't you hang on that long? You have a ton of options to stay together -- text, zoom, call. I don't understand the problem? Can you please elaborate?
Author Robineds Posted October 4, 2020 Author Posted October 4, 2020 Where we live, we now have lockdowns where parts of the country cannot visit the other. We live in different parts so we can no longer travel to see eachother. We still message and call, but we can't see eachother face to face and that is difficult. It's feels like Shen is pulling away almost
FMW Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 I'm sorry to hear that, that's hard. I don't really have any other suggestions not given by d0nnivain. Hopefully your lockdown can be eased soon. It's hard for some people to feel romantically close to someone when they can't have actual contact, especially only a few months into a relationship. That doesn't mean she's not committed to waiting, as she told you she would. It's just probably hard to maintain the level of intimacy you felt when you could actually see each other (again, so early in the relationship). Hang in there, it sounds like you both want things to progress, that's the important thing.
Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 1 hour ago, FMW said: Why can't you see each other because of the virus? If you've only been seeing each other "a few months" the virus was around from the beginning. Some places - many places, eg countries in Europe are experiencing a second wave. Hell, I have a buddy in Melbourne, Australia, who was living a relatively normal life a few months ago when things started to open up, then BAM! The story goes that security guards employed at a quarantine hotel had sex with infected returned travellers, thus spreading the virus right across the city and creating a second wave. Everyone had to go back into lockdown again. This virus has been hard on everyone in the dating world. I am so glad that I met my gf late last year and I'm not trying to navigate the dating landscape in Covid times. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 On 10/3/2020 at 8:39 AM, Robineds said: I'm having an issue getting an erection.. I can see she is disappointed as I can't get hard from her kissing me. How are you having sex if you can't see her? Is this a cyber friendship and you are both dating locally?
Author Robineds Posted October 4, 2020 Author Posted October 4, 2020 8 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said: Some places - many places, eg countries in Europe are experiencing a second wave. Hell, I have a buddy in Melbourne, Australia, who was living a relatively normal life a few months ago when things started to open up, then BAM! The story goes that security guards employed at a quarantine hotel had sex with infected returned travellers, thus spreading the virus right across the city and creating a second wave. Everyone had to go back into lockdown again. This virus has been hard on everyone in the dating world. I am so glad that I met my gf late last year and I'm not trying to navigate the dating landscape in Covid times. Trust me it's not easy. We started talking during a lockdown then we could meet and see eachother and now we're back to how it wasn't before. No one knows when or how's long we will stay lockdown like this
Author Robineds Posted October 4, 2020 Author Posted October 4, 2020 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How are you having sex if you can't see her? Is this a cyber friendship and you are both dating locally? I could see her up until 6 days ago. We have been shut down again because of the virus. Somprevious to 6 days ago we could meet now it is illegal in our country to visit eachother
Azincourt Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, schlumpy said: OP, talk to her on the phone and text her regularly or something, online chatting is fine too. If you don't care about your personal well being that much to the point of risking catching the corona virus, they buy that thing they have to detect the body temperature, and use it on her, and then have a picnic outside of your house or something at the local park, just make sure it's deserted, or has very few people first. Edited October 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Response to off topic post
poppyfields Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Robineds said: I've been dating a girl for a few months now, it's been great she was really into me and felt completely natiral and easy. now because if virus we can't see eachother. She has said she will wait. That she's not going to go anywhere etc but I can't help feel something is different. It's like she is trying too hard? She says all the right things, calls me up to talk etc. It is playing on my mind and making me become anxious which in turn doesn't help my feelings towards the situation. How can I keep things alive? For her to not get bored of me? Dude the virus has been around for 10+ months! If she is now blaming the virus on why she suddenly can't see you, she's bull-shyting you, sorry mate. Don't know where you live, but in the US, restrictions are easing up, not intensifying. We're able to go out without masks, dine outdoors, and engage in other outdoor activities. We can't blame the virus for our disinterest anymore. Something's not jiving mate. Edited October 4, 2020 by poppyfields
Author Robineds Posted October 4, 2020 Author Posted October 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Dude the virus has been around for 10+ months! If she is now blaming the virus on why she suddenly can't see you, she's bull-shyting you, sorry mate. As other posters have said, restrictions are easing up, not intensifying. We're able to go out without masks, dine outdoors, and engage in other outdoor activities. We can't blame the virus for our disinterest anymore. Something's not jiving mate. I'm not in the USA. Restrictions eased where we live but now have been put in place again. She's not using it as an excuse, it is illegal for us us to meet eachother now as she lives in another area of the country and I'm not allowed to travel
poppyfields Posted October 4, 2020 Posted October 4, 2020 4 minutes ago, Robineds said: I'm not in the USA. Restrictions eased where we live but now have been put in place again. She's not using it as an excuse, it is illegal for us us to meet eachother now as she lives in another area of the country and I'm not allowed to travel Ok apologies, I retract my previous post. My bf and I were separated for three months earlier this year, and we kept things alive through email, phone and Facetime. We made the distance work for us versus against us, and it actually strengthened our connection!
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 Not much you can really do...if she is losing interest, then she wasn't that into you in the first place. They say the heart grows fonder when apart....this isn't happening so it is what it is. The only thing you can do is try, but if she isn't receptive, move on.
Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 21 hours ago, poppyfields said: Dude the virus has been around for 10+ months! If she is now blaming the virus on why she suddenly can't see you, she's bull-shyting you, sorry mate. Don't know where you live, but in the US, restrictions are easing up, not intensifying. We're able to go out without masks, dine outdoors, and engage in other outdoor activities. We can't blame the virus for our disinterest anymore. Something's not jiving mate. If the rest of the world is anything to go by, the U.S. will almost certainly get a second wave. Add to that, the impending winter and it becomes a perfect storm. I think that if anyone is wanting to create spacd between themselves and a non-cohabiting partner, then Covid provides the perfect platform to do so. Having said that, the legitimacy of someone doing that can never be beyond reasonable doubt. As has been mentioned prior, plenty of places beyond U.S. shores are struggling with second waves.
FMW Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 I live in the central US and I don't believe we have ever left the first wave, it's just ebbed and flowed, but never went away or decreased significantly. We've made adjustments along the way, and in some ways have less restrictions now than in earlier months even though the numbers aren't any lower, and possibly even higher. Where I am, choosing to visit and spend time with another person was never prohibited, we always made our own choices, we were never forced to stay apart. We certainly are able to choose to move freely now (and that's very disturbing in some cases). I disagree with the idea that if physical distance makes her detach a bit that her feelings weren't real in the first place. Especially when you only had 2 months to build the attachment and connection. A strong long term relationship should be able to handle temporary physical absence, but a new relationship is less solid. That doesn't mean the relationship is doomed, just that until you're able to actually spend time together things probably won't feel as emotionally close. If there were other issues before the physical separation, then of course those might still be at play now and affecting how she's interacting with you.
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2020 Posted October 5, 2020 All you can do is try. Reach out by the various means available to you. Granted it's early in the relationship but try to remember in the old days people stayed together by postal letters only. If she can't be patient, her level of commitment & her attention span are shallow indeed. Maybe this hardship in your relationship is to open your eyes to flaws you were overlooking due to having sex. 1
Recommended Posts